I'm seeing a recurring problem in the thread. It is assumed that "forcing" your children to attend church is the same thing as "forcing" them to believe in your religion.
In my opinion, you cannot force anybody to believe anything. Small children do not have the life experience to make decisions for themselves very well, and will default to what they have been taught. There is a time in all of our lives though, which the Christian Bible refers to as the age of accountability, when you become able to choose for yourself. This is the day you finally grasp what's going on around you, and spiritually become responsible for your own actions.
Tim and AEF were both raised Christian, and when they became old enough to decide for themselves, they converted (for lack of a better word).
Parents need to communicate with their children on levels that match the maturity level of that child. I personally believe in sharing many points of view with kids. In doing so, you're going to have to explain why you have made the choices you have made, and as such, why you feel it is your responsibility as a parent to raise them in that direction.
If your 16 year old doesn't want to go to church anymore, I think it is the right of the parent to force the issue. It should be explained though that even if they don't believe what the preacher is saying, church is a family function, and they are expected to be an active member of the family. Any punishment for not attending should be given on the basis of disobedience to the parent, not disobedience to the church.
Going to church has many secondary positives beyond the primary of learning about the faith. Even if the child hates church it should be a positive life experience. As adults, we all have to do things we don't want to do. It takes responsibility to do these things. I was "forced" to wash dishes as a kid. I hated every second of it for 10 years. Here I am as an adult though, and I'm still washing dishes. If I had never had to clean a day in my life, chances are I would have lived in my own filth for however many years it took to find the truth my parents gave me through chores.
Other positives are going to be choice of friends. Psychology classes (and I'm sure Mari can expand on this) taugh me that the most important factor in the forming of relationships is proximity. I'm not saying church kids are angels, and non-church kids are demons, but what I am saying, is that in GENERAL, there are going to be fewer bad influences to choose from out of the friend pool. There is going to be a higher average of engaged parents and strong families.
I don't believe in sheltering a child 100% from the world. I think the preachers kid syndrome is probably linked directly to overprotection as a young adult. If you have never been exposed to sex, drugs, or rock & roll, you won't be equipped to handle it when you finally leave your parents house. Practical education is crucial.
To what happened with Grace... This is sad. It was obviously said with tongue in cheek. Her words were twisted, and people who already have a beef with her ran with it. Tim is an excellent communicator. He has a keen ability to push the buttons he's looking to push. We all get upset when we're treated with dis-respect. There are examples in this very thread of several offenders.
The idea that Christians are somehow not allowed to get angry isn't based in reality. Jesus himself went ape style on some crooked money changers back in the day. Probably the first time in history "Jesus Christ" was used as an expletive! :jk
I think the fact that everybody is surprised to see her defend herself speaks volumes in the positive. If I, or AEF, or Pete decided to land some hard blows, nobody would notice.
