Bullycide in America

[Guyzerr]

Oh. My. God.

That is the biggest case of the pot calling the kettle black I've ever seen. Seriously, do you think before you type? Jesus Christ dude.

Boy that didn't take you long to reply. Sittin' there chompin' at the bit just waiting to pounce. :24::24::24:

 

[edgray]

see there you go, you never actually contribute any sense to an argument, you'd rather criticize the arguer rather than the arguments. That hints to a lack of reason.

Show me where I did that list please, if you're going to attack me, at least back it up.

 

[Guyzerr]

see there you go, you never actually contribute any sense to an argument, you'd rather criticize the arguer rather than the arguments. That hints to a lack of reason.

Ed I've stated my opinion but you've twisted the hell out of it again because you don't agree with me. Unlike you I don't feel the need to argue just for the sake of hearing my own voice so I'm going to let it go.

 

[edgray]

Ed I've stated my opinion but you've twisted the hell out of it again because you don't agree with me. Unlike you I don't feel the need to argue just for the sake of hearing my own voice so I'm going to let it go.

you didn't compile the list because you can't. End of.

 

[Minor Axis]

There were bullies when I was in school 40 years ago. The question is it worse today or is it the same ole stuff? Secondly are kids reacting to it today more dramatically by killing themselves or shooting up school? I don't know if it is better reported today, I don't know about the former, but regarding the latter it seems like the answer is yes.

I agree that parents are the best defense in that they must be involved. It's not always as simple as teach your kid to fight. Social clicks can do a psychological number on your kid. Worst case, move your kid to a different school.

 

[Francis]

There were bullies when I was in school 40 years ago. The question is it worse today or is it the same ole stuff? Secondly are kids reacting to it today more dramatically by killing themselves or shooting up school? I don't know if it is better reported today, I don't know about the former, but regarding the latter it seems like the answer is yes.

I agree that parents are the best defense in that they must be involved. It's not always as simple as teach your kid to fight. Social clicks can do a psychological number on your kid. Worst case, move your kid to a different school.

I agree about the bullies in schools.. Have always been there and always will be..

I think suicide was hidden in the past, much more then today.. We also didn't heard about it as much on TV, but you heard about it more when kids went missing in class and never came back..

The level of Bullying is much more sophisticated today.. Kids use the internet like a playground and texting like a phone call..

As parents we need to listen and learn from our kids and that's not always easy.. The technology is changing fast and so is the language.. But if you treat your kids like people and stay in touch with them, you will not have many issues.. The problem is many parents have no idea how to stay connected with their kids.. As much as I get frustrated with my 19 year old, I can still talk to her. She may know it all, but we talk about things..

As for the 6 year old, he is in a completely different world and level.. Internet and texting hasn't even started yet and I can only fear what his "Apple" style bullying days will be like.. :mad Sorry kid, but we are poor and we can only afford the Canadian version so you get a RIM "Blackberry".. :24:

 

[darkangel]

I didn't mean to piss on your parade but this is a very serious subject for me because of what I faced as a kid.

Still love me like Cammy says she does?

Of course. I was just having a bad day yesterday. Posting without any sleep does that to me. :willy_nilly:

 

[Tim]

There is absolutely a difference in bullying then and now. Today it can be a constant attack with no break from the bullying. Once you leave school you can still be attacked through e-mail, facebook, text, calls to your cell, myspace, even websites dedicated to attacking you, which wasn't the case years ago. This constant state of attack is the major difference today.

 

[darkangel]

While this case is garnering considerable media attention because of the criminal charges being filed against nine of her classmates, Phoebe’s tragic story is not unique. Bullycide among high school students is on the rise, fueled by dangerous new trends like cyberbullying and sexting. An estimated 50,000 teens attempt to kill themselves each year. At least 5,000 succeed.

As our country mourns the senseless loss of yet another victimized teenager, it’s time to ask ourselves: how can this bullying be stopped?

"It’s not the children’s faults, it’s the adults. The ones who don’t take responsibility, who don’t teach the kids right and wrong; the school boards and the superintendents and the principals and the parents. If they took charge, we would not need laws."

While stricter legislation is a step in the right direction, experts say that the most effective way to end bullying is by implementing prevention programs that attack the problem at its source: school culture.
Dan Olweus, a psychology professor at Norway's University of Bergen, is the world’s leading authority on the subject of bullying. His Bullying Prevention Program continues to draw international attention for its demonstrably positive results.

The uniqueness of the program lies in its focus not only on bullies and their victims, but on the largest group of children in schools: the bystanders. In describing the program’s success, Dr. Robert Sege of Boston Medical Center writes:

Olweus’s genius is that he manages to turn the school situation around so the other kids realize that the bully is someone who has a problem managing his or her behavior, and the victim is someone they can protect.

While bullycide is a shocking and tragic phenomenon, it is also preventable. The key is for parents and school officials to take a proactive approach, and implement anti-bullying programs in their schools.

Sorry but for some reason the link is being diverted when I post it...

So you see that it not only can be worked on at home but also by putting kids in a theraputic program...
​

 

[Alien Allen]

There is absolutely a difference in bullying then and now. Today it can be a constant attack with no break from the bullying. Once you leave school you can still be attacked through e-mail, facebook, text, calls to your cell, myspace, even websites dedicated to attacking you, which wasn't the case years ago. This constant state of attack is the major difference today.

Geeze it pains me to find myself agreeing with you

It probably is worse

And it also it probably noted more because of the same reasons you cite such as facebook, myspace, etc along with a 24/7 news cycle

With regard to parents being the solution? Not unless they get neutered to begin with. A bully is that way because of their self esteem and upbringing. Most of these parents now a days would tell you to mind your own business. Because their little johnny is an angel

 

[itsmeJonB]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hqj3tSVsWO4

 

[Tim]

With regard to parents being the solution? Not unless they get neutered to begin with. A bully is that way because of their self esteem and upbringing. Most of these parents now a days would tell you to mind your own business. Because their little johnny is an angel

I have really battled with how I'm going to teach my kids to handle bullies... It use to be good advice to tell them to avoid them as much as possible, but I'm not sure that's the case anymore...

When I was in junior high I encountered a bully that was absolutely relentless towards me. He would ride my bus home and threatened to kick my ass every single day. I would have to run or get off at another stop, anything I had to do to avoid a confrontation. One on one, this kid would have cleaned my clock.

Then one day the inevitable happened, he cornered me with a large group forming.. Out of options I decided to just take the beating. So I stood up to him and didn't back down, he didn't back me up. He got so pissed that he punched me in the jaw. I was surprised that it didn't hurt so much, maybe the adrenaline. So I stepped into him again and he hit me again, and a third time... With my new sense of cockiness, I unleashed an punch with everything I had right in his soler plexus. That knocked the wind out of him and dropped him to the ground. At that point I walked away. From that point on he never bothered me again...

I guess the moral of this story is... I will get my kids into Karate and give them the tools to defend themselves as a last line of defense. I will teach them to ignore and be the better person, but if need be a quick take-down may be necessary.

 

[Francis]

I guess the moral of this story is... I will get my kids into Karate and give them the tools to defend themselves as a last line of defense. I will teach them to ignore and be the better person, but if need be a quick take-down may be necessary.

Funny you mention that..

I just enrolled my 6 year old into Karate classes.. He starts in a few weeks..

His cousin, 7 years old, will be going with him so they can learn together and practice ( or kick the crap out of each other :24::24: ) when they meet.. :thumbup

 

[edgray]

I would recommend boxing over karate myself, much more effective martial art as it really teaches you how to take punches as well throw them... just my two cents

 

[darkangel]

I guess the moral of this story is... I will get my kids into Karate and give them the tools to defend themselves as a last line of defense. I will teach them to ignore and be the better person, but if need be a quick take-down may be necessary.

You know that girls physically are bullied by other girls too and I had to enroll my daughter in Karate classes as well. She was always getting bullied in grammar school physically by hair pulling and such. After she defended herself one day it all stopped from everyone. She turned out ok in school after that...

 

[Minor Axis]

Just remember Karate only deals with one part of the problem, but it can help. When my son was about 7 over playing with a group of kids at a neighborhood kids house, the kid started picking on him. My son went and told the Dad and the Dad told him, "You'd better learn how to run." He came home and told me and I said, "Well you tried diplomacy, if you are going to play in a group with this kid, if he hits you you hit him back." The next day the group was playing and the kid hit my son. In response, my son, the karate student, kicked him in the chest and that was the end of being picked on.

However short of physical confrontation, my understanding is that most of the bullying that goes on has to do with verbal/social. Not as simple to deal with.

 

[Francis]

However short of physical confrontation, my understanding is that most of the bullying that goes on has to do with verbal/social. Not as simple to deal with.

Gezzzzz Minor.. No one thing is a quick fix.. Karate is only one of many tools to be used..

If the kid has no other tool Karate is useless..

My other post below talked about how kids use the internet / texting..

Mental bullying is far more destructive then the physical part and must be dealt with as much as the others..

Kids are extremely cruel and know many ways to hurt each other and if they can't do it by punching or kicking, they will find new ways if they really want too and carry the grudge forward. My daughter went thru this when she was in school.. Now 19 she is moving into the adult stage of bullying..

That said, the more tools you hand your child the better..

 

[Tim]

Funny you mention that..

I just enrolled my 6 year old into Karate classes.. He starts in a few weeks..

His cousin, 7 years old, will be going with him so they can learn together and practice ( or kick the crap out of each other :24::24: ) when they meet.. :thumbup

I'm not sure which style they are taking but I took okinawan isshinryu for about 6 years and I loved it. They were all about defense and the Sensei stressed this point. We had a competing school in the area that had tough guys there and their Sensei didn't mind when his students got into fights. Not the kind of school I would ever send my kids to. Discipline and form first, then it's about defense, never about being a tough guy or fighting.

I would recommend boxing over karate myself, much more effective martial art as it really teaches you how to take punches as well throw them... just my two cents

Not true at all, maybe you're thinking about Judo but Karate is a contact sport. There were specific classes dedicated to taking hits and how to direct the energy of the blow through and around you.
But unlike boxing, karate forces an opponent to miss so you can take his forward energy and use it against him. You shouldn't ever know how to take a hit if you're good at it.

 

[Alien Allen]

I got bullied a lot too back then. Bullies or those look down upon others you will find have a lack of self esteem and have been treated in kind by others. I tried to avoid them if possible. This is part of human nature and you can bitch about it and wish it to end but it never will.

 

[itsmeJonB]

I got bullied a lot in middle school, and the one time I stood up for myself I got detention and lunchtime community service duty