Bullycide in America

[Francis]

I'm not sure which style they are taking but I took okinawan isshinryu for about 6 years and I loved it. They were all about defense and the Sensei stressed this point. We had a competing school in the area that had tough guys there and their Sensei didn't mind when his students got into fights. Not the kind of school I would ever send my kids to. Discipline and form first, then it's about defense, never about being a tough guy or fighting.

I took the course here also.

It's all about control and defence here as well.. As well a great deal of it involves respect and honour..

The fighting I am talking about will probably happen at home as in horse play.. The kids get along fantastic and will probably try to out do each other.. Unfortunately they are competitive.. But who knows, maybe the "respect" part will catch them early..

And I was being sarcastic.. LOL

 

[Accountable]

I have really battled with how I'm going to teach my kids to handle bullies... It use to be good advice to tell them to avoid them as much as possible, but I'm not sure that's the case anymore...

When I was in junior high I encountered a bully that was absolutely relentless towards me. He would ride my bus home and threatened to kick my ass every single day. I would have to run or get off at another stop, anything I had to do to avoid a confrontation. One on one, this kid would have cleaned my clock.

Then one day the inevitable happened, he cornered me with a large group forming.. Out of options I decided to just take the beating. So I stood up to him and didn't back down, he didn't back me up. He got so pissed that he punched me in the jaw. I was surprised that it didn't hurt so much, maybe the adrenaline. So I stepped into him again and he hit me again, and a third time... With my new sense of cockiness, I unleashed an punch with everything I had right in his soler plexus. That knocked the wind out of him and dropped him to the ground. At that point I walked away. From that point on he never bothered me again...

I guess the moral of this story is... I will get my kids into Karate and give them the tools to defend themselves as a last line of defense. I will teach them to ignore and be the better person, but if need be a quick take-down may be necessary.

My 14-year-old niece is a 2nd degree black belt in Tae Kwan Do. The discipline helped her schooling & now she's in honors classes.

 

[Tim]

My 14-year-old niece is a 2nd degree black belt in Tae Kwan Do. The discipline helped her schooling & now she's in honors classes.

The good dojo's are those where discipline, honor and respect are the top agenda. It will give a kid great resources to fall back on later in life, and I'm not talking fighting skills.

 

[Guyzerr]

From that point on he never bothered me again...

I guess the moral of this story is... I will get my kids into Karate and give them the tools to defend themselves as a last line of defense. I will teach them to ignore and be the better person, but if need be a quick take-down may be necessary.

That's exactly what I'm talking about Willis.

 

[Guyzerr]

After she defended herself one day it all stopped from everyone. She turned out ok in school after that...

That's what I've been talkin' about Willisette'.

 

[Guyzerr]

In response, my son, the karate student, kicked him in the chest and that was the end of being picked on.

Oh my... another one. Please don't let Ed see this stuff.

However short of physical confrontation, my understanding is that most of the bullying that goes on has to do with verbal/social. Not as simple to deal with.

That's something I didn't have to deal with but if I did I'm kinda thinkin' the same rules would apply. First a nice little chat and if that didn't work.... well.... um... there are other options.

 

[Guyzerr]

I got bullied a lot in middle school, and the one time I stood up for myself I got detention and lunchtime community service duty

But at least you stood up for yourself.

 

[TheTinGirl]

Just thought I'd add my opinions.
I was bullied pretty much elementary to high school.
I am overweight, have a learning disability, and other mental illnesses that are...recognizable.

I agree to a certain extent that standing up for yourself is the right thing to do.
I say to a certain extent because my father told me to punch the girl in the face who was hitting me and stealing my things. So I did. And on the way home from school she got off the bus with four of her friends and knocked two of my teeth out with a backpack full of books- among other things.
So...standing up for yourself can go good and bad.
For me I got lucky...eventually in about sixth grade we moved.

Going back to the beginning of the thread (And DA and Ed you know I love you both xD)
I don't think therapy would help a bully situation. Of course this might be a personal bias seeing as I've been in psych wards numerous times and they're a joke. 50 patients per doctor, getting you maybe 20 minutes a day, and the rest of the time I'm attending seminars telling me not to off myself, and forced to bring painful personal information into group therapy settings. That works real well for someone with social anxiety, however I did take one thing away from my time in the wards- an addiction to pills. Atavan, Ambien, Trazodone, Xanax...
Good times.
So personally I wouldn't recommend therapy in that sense.
I do however think a school program would be beneficial...
Maybe a specialized detention. Something where the teachers get the kids who are having a problem and show them all these things that have happened because of bullying. If learning about kids suicides and the like that are a result of bullying doesn't change their minds- then I honestly don't know what I would do. Maybe give them a warning or two and tell their parents that if it doesn't stop they'll be expelled.
Some kids are just plain mean.
I don't think bullying will ever stop... I mean these tribute videos are heartbreaking but I think they show us that we need to prepare the victim to deal with it because the problem will never vanish.
I've also found it hard to believe that suicide cases in bullying don't have some underlying factor.
We had this big thing in high school about bullying because one of our students committed suicide in the school.
But he didn't commit suicide because he was bullied ...he committed suicide because he was abused at home and at school and had bipolar, and had been molested and when he tried to report it no one listened.

I've talked myself in a damn circle and I'm completely lost now that I'm thinking about that boy.
Just wanted to add my opinion, apparently there was a lot to add. <3

 

[Codrus]

Tin i think 90% of the people on this board are over weight with learning disabilities..(myself included)...the other 10%...just have learning disabilities....reps for you girly

 

[AnitaBeer]

Tin i think 90% of the people on this board are over weight with learning disabilities..(myself included)...the other 10%...just have learning disabilities....reps for you girly

Hey now!!!!!!!!!!!!

















































I don't have a learning disability!!!:surrender

 

[TheTinGirl]

Tin i think 90% of the people on this board are over weight with learning disabilities..(myself included)...the other 10%...just have learning disabilities....reps for you girly

Thanks Codrus <3
I'm kinda thankful though- I never would have become the sarcastic bitch I am today without getting my shell hardened!

 

[darkangel]

Thanks Codrus <3
I'm kinda thankful though- I never would have become the sarcastic bitch I am today without getting my shell hardened!

I got my shell hardened in the psych ward....:willy_nilly:

 

[Tim]

There is one thing that hasn't been mentioned here...

as parents we have a responsibility to teach our own kids to NOT be bullies or to never treat others disrespectfully. If my boys turn out to be jocks, they won't engage in that behavior or they will answer to me.

 

[TheTinGirl]

There is one thing that hasn't been mentioned here...

as parents we have a responsibility to teach our own kids to NOT be bullies or to never treat others disrespectfully. If my boys turn out to be jocks, they won't engage in that behavior or they will answer to me.

I completely agree.
It can't be all up to the parents though, being as I raised my brother (I love him but he was the best birth control EVER) no matter how much you try to instill the right values into your children, they grow into who they are eventually.
Most of the time 'who they are' is more of a social build up than what their family values are.
Of course that could just be my experience.

 

[TheTinGirl]

I got my shell hardened in the psych ward....:willy_nilly:

Thinking about it gives me shivers. We should swap horror stories sometime!

 

[darkangel]

There is one thing that hasn't been mentioned here...

as parents we have a responsibility to teach our own kids to NOT be bullies or to never treat others disrespectfully. If my boys turn out to be jocks, they won't engage in that behavior or they will answer to me.

It's our duty as parents to raise our children to treat others the way that they would want to be treated. Or at least that's what I taught my daughter...

 

[darkangel]

Thinking about it gives me shivers. We should swap horror stories sometime!

It would take years to have a good swapping session! :24:

 

[edgray]

Not true at all, maybe you're thinking about Judo but Karate is a contact sport. There were specific classes dedicated to taking hits and how to direct the energy of the blow through and around you.
But unlike boxing, karate forces an opponent to miss so you can take his forward energy and use it against him. You shouldn't ever know how to take a hit if you're good at it.

I don't doubt Karate's power as a martial art, but stick a boxer in the ring against a karate master and the result is one KO'd Karate Master pretty much every time.

If you read Bruce Lee's books, for example, much of his fighting style came from western boxing because of it's simplicity and downright effectiveness. Not to mention it's parrying. To successfully block strikes from a boxer you'd need to be an expert karate champ.

I myself did kickboxing, which has the benefit over boxing as adding striking at kicking distance as well as punching distance.

But when it comes to street fighting, invariably there isn't the room to kick. That's where a good left hook comes into play.

I think any fighting style is going to build confidence though. Karate is great for discipline.

 

[Codrus]

Rule of thumb: never box a boxer
boxers are useless within 2 feet, if you close in quick and wrap them up....they are done, you may take 1 or 2 hits ( the power of which will be lessened due to the closing of the distance) but once you get them in your guard..its nighty night

 

[edgray]

Rule of thumb: never box a boxer
boxers are useless within 2 feet, if you close in quick and wrap them up....they are done, you may take 1 or 2 hits ( the power of which will be lessened due to the closing of the distance) but once you get them in your guard..its nighty night

Boxers are good right up to the point you grab them. 2 Feet is perfect distance for a close-range hook, and at that distance you wouldn't see it coming