How far is too far?

[TheOriginalJames]

Maria, in YOUR case, you won't "make" your child go to Church, you won't "force" them to believe. That's fine for you. Why is it wrong for any other religious person to teach their child about their beliefs. Don't parents typically impart politics and manners and love of education and artistic desires and musical abilities to their children? Religion is just one more in that list. It's called giving your children opportunities. A parent who values religion is going to certainly want their child to be knowledgeable about it, just as much as they'd want their child to pursue any other opportunity they are able to provide. Children are typically lazy, are they not? In my opinion, forcing them (or encouraging them as a loving parent would do) to participate in a religion is no different than getting their ass up early to take swimming lessons.

I don't see anything wrong with teaching them about it, but that's where it should end.

A parent should teach and encourage their children to take a role into their spirituality and to help them become a responsible adult, my point is when a child takes no interest in it at all and the parent forces them to go is when I take issue with it.

Education is key, but forcing your beliefs on someone else and church every sunday isn't mandatory to raising a child with values and beliefs.

 

[Breath]

So what other instances are you willing to allow your child to make the decision? Realize, of course, that children are not adults and have no decision making rights in present-day society.
Your 16 year old hates h.s. and wants to quit. You let that happen?
Your 15 year old starts having sex with her b/f without protection. You let that happen?
Your 17 year stays out all night every weekend and doesn't think you need to know where they are. That's okay too?
You notice possessions that your child uses that you didn't purchase for him and you are fairly certain he didn't buy. Turn your head from that too?

My point again is this...be a parent. It's your job until the kid is 18 and can legally do their own shit. And if the kid doesn't like it...waa, waa, waa.

 

[TheOriginalJames]

So what other instances are you willing to allow your child to make the decision? Realize, of course, that children are not adults and have no decision making rights in present-day society.
Your 16 year old hates h.s. and wants to quit. You let that happen?
Your 15 year old starts having sex with her b/f without protection. You let that happen?
Your 17 year stays out all night every weekend and doesn't think you need to know where they are. That's okay too?
You notice possessions that your child uses that you didn't purchase for him and you are fairly certain he didn't buy. Turn your head from that too?

My point again is this...be a parent. It's your job until the kid is 18 and can legally do their own shit. And if the kid doesn't like it...waa, waa, waa.

There's a difference there. all those examples you gave are your children making a bad decision that will cost them their health, life or freedom for what could be their entire lifetime.

However, not going to church isn't a bad thing. It's simply a choice to not be involved in an organized religion or to believe in a deity.

Schooling is mandated for a minor, sex.. well that's something that as a parent you worry about and let your child know your thoughts on it - but in the end you can't stop it either way.

A 17 year old staying out all night, well that's a punishable offense. That's a bad choice.

Telling your 15-17 year old child that you HAVE to go to church and learn about MY religion is far from equal to those examples.

 

[Maritxu]

But teaching somebody a religion should be something you do because you want their best and because you want them to have that religion when they grow up, right? when you force them to go to church all you will get is them hating it.. so what's the use?

 

[GraceAbounds]

Actually, spirituality is looked at as one of the parts of a person's 'total wellness'.

 

[Maritxu]

Nobody is denying that. I would want my kids to be speritually formed. But I won't make them hate religion by forcing it into them. I will teach them what I believe but let them choose. I would have appreciated that.

 

[Breath]

There's a difference there. all those examples you gave are your children making a bad decision that will cost them their health, life or freedom for what could be their entire lifetime.

However, not going to church isn't a bad thing. It's simply a choice to not be involved in an organized religion or to believe in a deity.

Wow...let's get off the boat a moment here. A religious parent would consider not teaching their child about religion to also be bad. Isn't it the ultimate goal of a religion to encourage members to make it to Heaven? That would be pretty bad for a parent to fully believe they could lead their child to that and have it fail. So the lack of a religious awareness to a child is a religious parent's worst nightmare, just like those other instances might be another parent's worst nightmare.

 

[TheOriginalJames]

I believe in teaching and encouragement towards a religious belief... I believe that is a healthy way to bring up a responsible adult.

But, my point all along is, if the child shows very little interest in it; I don't believe in physically forcing your child to go to church every sunday or suffer the consequences is healthy for the child. Because ultimately the child (and we're talking teenagers here 15-17 year olds) is going to make the choice to either go or not go on his/her own. You're either going to force them to go and they learn that simply going is just going to appease their parent so they'll do the bare minimum to get away with it, or they'll learn to resent church as a mandatory chore.

Nobody wants to do mandatory chores, but being forced into it does teach responsibility yes, I agree.

 

[Breath]

Nobody wants to do mandatory chores, but being forced into it does teach responsibility yes, I agree.

Not a bad lesson, if that is all that comes out of it. :clap

 

[GraceAbounds]

I have the perfect answer here:

Have kids of your own and raise them as you see fit. In 30 years we'll compare kids.

LOL!

 

[boxer810]

I think that the point that is trying to be made here is being twisted...making a child have a curfew and teaching them about safe sex and forcing them to participate in daily hygenic chores is quite a bit different than deciding on their choice of religion. As the child grows yes, it's fine to take them to church or allow others in the family to take them, but if they begin to express distaste for it when they get older, say around 13 or so, sit them down and ask WHY they don't want to go...is it laziness? If it's because they are confused about whether or not they even believe in God, or religion, I don't think that you should force them to go. That will simply put a bad taste in their mouths.

 

[Breath]

With all due respect, that's not the way it's been twisted. The twist (if there even is one) is that no matter what decision a parent makes about any aspect of a child's upbringing, be it religious or otherwise, the parent has the right and the duty to teach it the best they know how. It might sound forceful to some. It might be called tough love to another. Tomato. Tomahto.

 

[TheOriginalJames]

I have the perfect answer here:

Have kids of your own and raise them as you see fit. In 30 years we'll compare kids.

LOL!

LOL well, Speaking as a child who is an atheist. Do you, as a parent, who sees me as a grown man who's turned away from God, did I turn out bad?

 

[Breath]

opcorn2:

 

[TheOriginalJames]

*sneaks a few kernels of popcorn*

 

[boxer810]

I think this is not really about letting a child decide for themselves about religion, I think it's more about the parent being upset that their beliefs are being rejected by their children.

 

[Tim]

I have the perfect answer here:

Have kids of your own and raise them as you see fit. In 30 years we'll compare kids.

LOL!

This has got to be one of the most condescending posts I have ever seen.

This is a prime example of Holier than thou attitude. To suggest that your kids will be better in 30 years because you have helped in facilitating their brainwashing into religious propaganda...
Does this raising your children under religion also apply to the radial Islam parents who teach their children that all others must die? Or does it only apply to your children because they are learning Christianity?

I was raised in a very religious family and at a young age I would have said the very same thing your kids did, but what happens when they are old enough to think for themselves and they reject the very same religion that you are teaching them now? The possibility of that happening is greater than you would like to believe. Will you still accept them then?

 

[Breath]

While I hesitate to call her post condescending, I will say that it strongly speaks for Grace's POV that we all know, that living in a religious environment may help instill morals that some children may not get in non-religious homes. She's passionate about her belief. So what? Counter her and claim children from non-religious backgrounds do just as well.

 

[boxer810]

I have a prime example of children that come from "religious" homes...

The preacher at my Father's church has a son a few years older than me....this kid was raised in an EXTREMELY religious home...both parents were ministers his entire life. He went to church 4 or 5 times a week, was "saved" and all that....

When we were in college he started getting into trouble with little stuff at first (cussing, staying out past curfew, etc) then on the day of our college graduation he called in a bomb threat to the college...and it's been steadily downhill from there...he's been in prison a couple times. Now, going off of what Grace says, a child that was raised in a religious home like he was is not supposed to get into trouble like that, am I correct? It goes to show that no matter WHAT you force your children to do, they will ultimately do whatever it is they want to do.

 

[Breath]

One example does not a precedent make.