Should Same Sex Couples Be Allowed To Adopt?

[Butterfly]

Look I must not being typing it correctly......You don't choose to be gay I understand that what i'm saying is what if a straight child gets adopted by a gay couple. And that straight child who was straight to begin with decides and makes a choice on thier own because they know no better to have a gay relationship because of what they saw growing up. Is that fair to the child.....it's the same as when strict straight parents don't except thier own child for being gay.....that to me is stupid as well...

How did the gay folks making up the couple end up gay?
If they were raised by heterosexual parents, surely then, by your logic, they should have made the choice to be heterosexual then too.

 

[Tyler Durden]

My personal experience is that I've seen too many children screwed up and taken from their parents (that were straight and their "real" parents) not to think that same sex couples couldn't potentially do at least as good a job.

I do have some small ethics concenrs, however they stem largely from my corrupted 2008 "read too much shit in crappy newspapers and watched too much TV" mind that forces me to think that all same sex couples that wish to adopt are some kind of sex perves.

 

[skyblue]

I vote no, and that is because I do not think gay couples pose a good example of a good relationship, nor can they provide the father figure or mother figure as dazner was saying. Well, and I think homosexuality is just wrong, it's not the way humans are built. Guys and girls have certain parts for a reason...

Just my opinion, but go ahead and flame on....

there is a theory that homosexuality is natures birth control

 

[Natasha]

I haven't read through the entire thread, so pardon me if I repeat something that's already been said.

I absolutely believe that gay couples should be able to adopt (and marry, too, dammit). I would imagine, on this site, V is the only one that knows the story involving my bestfriend. I'll summarize as best as I can and then I'll include the Wikipedia link (yes, someone posted a Wikipedia page about her after her story hit the papers).

My bestfriend is a lesbian. At the time when she applied to adopt Emma (7 years old at the time) she had been involved in a long term relationship w/ a woman that she considered her wife. As is normal procedure, DFACS came out to do a home inspection and found everything to be satisfactory. When she filled out the paperwork she was told she had to include the income of everyone that lived in the residence, regardless of whether or not they were involved in the adoption process. So, as instructed, she included her partner's income. Well, they lived in a very small rural county and the judge that they she went in front of was not pleased to find that she was involved in a homosexual relationship. He denied the adoption and ordered Elizabeth to return Emma to her biological mother. Elizabeth did as instructed, but the biological mother refused to take Emma back due to how upset Emma was. When the judge found this out, he had Emma placed into foster care and took out contempt charges against Elizabeth as well as Elizabeth's attorney. Emma spent months in foster care and was so traumatized that she regressed to the point of wetting the bed on a nightly basis. Now you tell me where it's better for a child to be thrown in foster care than to live w/ 2 loving parents who happen to be of the same sex???

Thankfully the judge's decision was overturned and Emma was returned to Elizabeth's care...but Emma still has trauma to overcome from the whole incident.

So yes, absolutely, I think homosexuals should be allowed to adopt.

Here's the Wikipedia link...there are several more links to newspaper articles listed on that page.

Adoption proceedings of Emma Rose - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[Hans]

At this time, there is in no way that this should be allowed. There have been multiple historical, psychological, and all sorts of other tests that show potential trouble with 1 parent or 2 of the same sex parents. One of the more obvious reasons is that you expose your child to unnatural, or at the very least, an anti-social norm at a very young age. On top of that, at a young age they will be laughed at, talked about, and parents will talk down on their parents about your adopted child.

As for my original statement, you can read a ton of Roman-eqsue history stories where a father dies early, or isnt around to help raise their son. A good portion of terrible times in Rome(as well as other places, but Rome is the easiest to cite) are accounted to this. Nero, whos adpoted uncle was Claudis (Tiberius Drusus) was never around/probably crazy, and failed to raise him. Nero almost destroyed the Roman empire single handedly. Claudius himself had the exact same similar situation, as did numerous others. There are also many psych tests that also draw hypothesis that show 80% of children raised by single/same sexed parents will develop social issues later on.

Obviously some children will be fine, but adoption is not for everyone. The only way I can see it even being NEAR the best interest of the CHILD (not the couple, adoption should NEVER for ANY reason be about the couple) is it if WANTS to be with a homosexual couple, and understands the social strain he will probably endure. No teen can probably make ths until 16 years old, but then its hardly a child anyways.

 

[wednesday]

So your basing these "facts" on reality....im a single parent Hans....and i would like to see where you get your figures from!!! I do not believe that my children will grow to have social issues...my daughter is 14...and so far, has excellent grades, and good behavior ....what more could i ask from a teen??

I agree it should never be about the couple....it isnt...its all about whats best for the child,...having two parents of the same sex can sometimes be more rewarding then two of both.

Look outside the box based on facts n figures

 

[siasl]

shouldn't a child be given the same opportunities as you and me had....well me at least....with both mom and dad and not given the channel of the lifestyle of Same Sex "gay" couples. Having to be put through the gauntlet that both of us know a child would go through with same sex parents....I know with the right amount of love a same sex couple could take care of a child eazily...but what about the child is my question.....what about thier perception on life with a gay couple as parents????Shouldn't they be given the same opportunities as we had as a child and the choice we made on our own?????

so you're advocating protecting the child from being stigmatized by a society that fears what will happen to a child raised by a couple of homos?

is that the healthier of the two options, in your view?

hows it any different from keeping a mixed race couple from adopting a kid?

 

[Hans]

So your basing these "facts" on reality....im a single parent Hans....and i would like to see where you get your figures from!!! I do not believe that my children will grow to have social issues...my daughter is 14...and so far, has excellent grades, and good behavior ....what more could i ask from a teen??

I agree it should never be about the couple....it isnt...its all about whats best for the child,...having two parents of the same sex can sometimes be more rewarding then two of both.

Look outside the box based on facts n figures

I got my facts from Femme Soul, some womens psych group on my campus. Let me teach you something about numbers though, 100% does not equal 80%. Nor are you in the mind of your child later on. I am in no way discrediting you in any way, but you are not a man. You will not provide your son with a father figure that most children have, this is what defines the social norm. I also clearly said when they grow up. At 14, youre still mothering them. When they are on their own, they were probably missing something that you may not have been able to give them. This is not your fault, nor is it your daugthers fault.

As for your idea of the couple, for mos same sex couples it IS about the couple. You may want to butter it up and spin it in a number of ways, but when you cut away the bullshit (no offenes obviously), you have a couple that wants a child. Why would you even consider the risk of damaging a child by giving it to a couple, who even if near perfect, will be scared by the public? The truth is differences of any kind, are often feared and looked down upon. Homosexuality is different, for better or worse is up to the person, but it is different. If people dont get it, if they believe their religion doesnt accept if, if they are homophobic, this child will feel the backlash.

If you give it to a normal couple, this risk is not there. So, why give the child toa homosexual couple over a normal couple who wants a child? The best interest of the child lies with the straight couple. Period.

EDIT:I have the article here, but I dont want to post it. I could easily google some bs stats, and Im sure you could like-wise, number aside I stil feel the my arguement is validated by my second paragraph.

 

[wednesday]

I got my facts from Femme Soul, some womens psych group on my campus. Let me teach you something about numbers though, 100% does not equal 80%. Nor are you in the mind of your child later on. I am in no way discrediting you in any way, but you are not a man. You will not provide your son with a father figure that most children have, this is what defines the social norm. I also clearly said when they grow up. At 14, youre still mothering them. When they are on their own, they were probably missing something that you may not have been able to give them. This is not your fault, nor is it your daugthers fault.

As for your idea of the couple, for mos same sex couples it IS about the couple. You may want to butter it up and spin it in a number of ways, but when you cut away the bullshit (no offenes obviously), you have a couple that wants a child. Why would you even consider the risk of damaging a child by giving it to a couple, who even if near perfect, will be scared by the public? The truth is differences of any kind, are often feared and looked down upon. Homosexuality is different, for better or worse is up to the person, but it is different. If people dont get it, if they believe their religion doesnt accept if, if they are homophobic, this child will feel the backlash.

If you give it to a normal couple, this risk is not there. So, why give the child toa homosexual couple over a normal couple who wants a child? The best interest of the child lies with the straight couple. Period.

EDIT:I have the article here, but I dont want to post it. I could easily google some bs stats, and Im sure you could like-wise, number aside I stil feel the my arguement is validated by my second paragraph.

Wow...Hans i always thought you where intelligent...nvm.I can be sometimes wrong:24:

As for my daughter missing something..yer, shes missing seeing her mum get beaten to a pulp..im sure that im doing the wrong thing by raising her alone *rolls eyes*

Shallow minded people really piss me off...
Enjoy

 

[Hans]

You are simply upset because you are taking this in some way that you personally are inherently going to raise a poor child. If you cant handle common, well backed, thoughts, then why enter the thread?

I will not take offense to what you say, but you cannot let emotions drive your arguement, which they are in your case. I create *almost* all of my posts as logically as I believe they are. If there is an abusive father or parent, youre right, they shoudnt be there. I never once said that they should be, but life is not fair. Having one parent is almsot always not as good as having two parents. This is my arguement. There are many good couples, such as my parents, who have raised me well. There are other single parents who have riased their children well, and it is becoming more common. However, there ARE shitty couples and there are just as many shitty single-parents, who buckle due to the fact they have that much more responsibility to take up for.

I guess what I am trying to get it as, I do not understand how ANYONE could say a good single parent will do a better job raising their child than a GOOD couple. If you want to get bent out of shape, because you want to twist my words and assume that all single parents are inept and doomed to raise a poor family, feel free, but you will not call me narrowminded for having an emotional attachment to the arguement. I also am simply stating that there are mental issues with children being raised by single parents, these can be as simply as regretting not having a father. Of course though, you must vilianize these and assum it means that all of these people are mentally challenged and in straight jackets because they were raised by one parent.

As for the actual topic, I still want to know how anyone in their rightmind could justify that a homosexual couple is a better choice than a generic, heterosexual child while adopting a child from 2-13.

 

[SgtSpike]

At this time, there is in no way that this should be allowed. There have been multiple historical, psychological, and all sorts of other tests that show potential trouble with 1 parent or 2 of the same sex parents. One of the more obvious reasons is that you expose your child to unnatural, or at the very least, an anti-social norm at a very young age. On top of that, at a young age they will be laughed at, talked about, and parents will talk down on their parents about your adopted child.

As for my original statement, you can read a ton of Roman-eqsue history stories where a father dies early, or isnt around to help raise their son. A good portion of terrible times in Rome(as well as other places, but Rome is the easiest to cite) are accounted to this. Nero, whos adpoted uncle was Claudis (Tiberius Drusus) was never around/probably crazy, and failed to raise him. Nero almost destroyed the Roman empire single handedly. Claudius himself had the exact same similar situation, as did numerous others. There are also many psych tests that also draw hypothesis that show 80% of children raised by single/same sexed parents will develop social issues later on.

Obviously some children will be fine, but adoption is not for everyone. The only way I can see it even being NEAR the best interest of the CHILD (not the couple, adoption should NEVER for ANY reason be about the couple) is it if WANTS to be with a homosexual couple, and understands the social strain he will probably endure. No teen can probably make ths until 16 years old, but then its hardly a child anyways.

Good points, and well said. :thumbup

 

[wednesday]

Hans whatever...your shallow...nuff said. Im not arguing the case...i know that i do as good a job as a couple...you cant judge everyone.

As for 2 couples of the same sex...why is that different??...you just said it yourself ..i quote..

I guess what I am trying to get it as, I do not understand how ANYONE could say a good single parent will do a better job raising their child than a GOOD couple

And your right..if you continue to say my children will be worse off than children with two parents i will get bent out of shape.....because people like you go on figures and not reality...that sickens me a lil....thats judging everyones lifestyle.

So i will leave you to it..going away knowing...my children will do far better than me in life..and i was raised by two loving parents.

 

[Hans]

I am not judging your lifestyle. I am basing an arguementative post on statisticts and common theory. I am not here to look down on your or your child, and I can re-state that anything less than 100%, is not 100%. You may be an outlier on the bell-curve, but none the less statistics should be what drive debates. If you see me as shallow, it doesnt hurt my feelings in the slightest. Ill continue to say how I truthfully feel, but I just dont think this is the place for you to be posting, maybe in the relationship and family section, where you should lean more on personal lives and an individual case to case basis. Unfortunately, most people struggle, despite trying their hardest, to raise a child on their own. It is hard, and life isnt fair, but the truth is the truth. Trying to sugar coat it isnt going to do anyone anygood, because that wont change the situation.

 

[wednesday]

hey Hans...dont tell me where to post...as i said..i have my opinion you have yours...now why dont you go find something else to play wiith

ooh and dont preach to me about having a hard life....see..thats judging!!!

 

[Hans]

Once again, youre taking things Im applying to an entire category and you are assuming they are about you. Unfortunately, this is not the case. I am not even judging you either, I am takng what YOU HAVE SAID and applying it into my logic.

As for judgement, once again, I can easily find a eutopia of statistics confirming a single parents hardships, other than that, I cannot even understand who I would have judged. If anything, I am sterotyping, but I am doing so by the use of stastical fact. As for posting here, I really just dont want to get in a 1v1 with you, Im sure you may think Im a dick, but its really not my style or goal to upset someone, unless its overwhelmingly clear it is my goal to go after a person or group. It just seems like you are getting more emotional, and I offered a suggestion that you may have a better time in the other section. This doesn't mean you are incapable of psting here or required to post there.

 

[wednesday]

Unfortunately, most people struggle, despite trying their hardest, to raise a child on their own. It is hard, and life isnt fair, but the truth is the truth. Trying to sugar coat it isnt going to do anyone anygood, because that wont change the situation.

^^that is directed at me.........and as for emotional...not at all, ive dealt with bigger issues than someones opinion b4...trust me And no i dont think your a dick...your just blind sided by facts n figures.

As i said..there really is little left to say bar, we disagree??...what more can i say??

 

[Hans]

Well no, it is not directed at you. You fit into it. There is a huge difference. I also dont think I am blind sided, I could make an emotional appeal to you, but statistics are stronger than emotional appeal 9 times out of 10 in a debate. Hell, I bet if I wanted to, I could make an emotional and stastical claim for homosexual couples getting adoptive custodies. However, I do not believe in that. I simply post what I think, backed by the most sound, logical information that I have at my disposal. I also try to use more punctuation and hide my terrible spelling, but it shines anyways. As for disagreement, Ive never had a problem with it =p

 

[SgtSpike]

^^that is directed at me.........and as for emotional...not at all, ive dealt with bigger issues than someones opinion b4...trust me And no i dont think your a dick...your just blind sided by facts n figures.

As i said..there really is little left to say bar, we disagree??...what more can i say??

Let's just say you're the exception to the rule, but for the most part, people do not have as much success in single-parenting or same-sex parenting as you do, which is why they should not adopt.

Just because one person can make it work doesn't mean that it is a good thing in all cases, or even in most cases.

 

[siasl]

As for your idea of the couple, for mos same sex couples it IS about the couple. You may want to butter it up and spin it in a number of ways, but when you cut away the bullshit (no offenes obviously), you have a couple that wants a child.

and this is different for heterosexual couple that want to adopt?
what are do you imagine that they're after?....rhubarb pie?

this portion of your arguement makes no sense whatsoever, unless you're coming from the place of some noble (and pious) selflessness, which is a spin all its own

Why would you even consider the risk of damaging a child by giving it to a couple, who even if near perfect, will be scared by the public? The truth is differences of any kind, are often feared and looked down upon. Homosexuality is different, for better or worse is up to the person, but it is different. If people dont get it, if they believe their religion doesnt accept if, if they are homophobic, this child will feel the backlash.

yeah....so?
if it's all about protecting the child from backlash, then it's the same junk that some kids put up with every day....because they have a hairlip, because they stutter, because, because, because....difference is difference....if children are taught to fear gay couples because someone's religion doesn't accept it, or any other reason you can come up with, and their own child's teasing of adopted children of gay couples is condoned on the basis of moral difference, fear, or whatever else signifies difference to you, then america is neither the land of the free nor the home of the brave now, is it?

people nowadays make such a big deal about parental responsibility and teaching that to their children....time for we the people to stand up and start owning what the words mean.

sure, some kids will be scarred because of their difference...others are scarred because of their sameness....there are simply too many variables to manage a hundred percent protected enviornment....to use that arguement in this discussion is a pathetic excuse for "truth", imo :thumbdown

If you give it to a normal couple, this risk is not there.

this pretty much sums it up....a "normal" couple....not a loving, nurturing, supportive couple.....
normal is good enough, thank you very much.
oh yeah, and btw.....i get to define normal.....

So, why give the child to a homosexual couple over a normal couple who wants a child?

i don't think anybody is advocating going out and looking for gay couples, in favor of straight couples, and then passing out kids to them......
i also don't think it's too cool to put a sign on the door of an adoption agency that says "only normal couples need apply".....and that's what your advocating.....

 

[JosephGabriel]

As long as a parent loves their child then I think that's all that can really be asked for.

Yeah I think if a child is adopted by a same sex couple they're gonna have a more liberal view on homosexuality....but that's not really a bad thing.

The only thing that would possibly worry me is that the child may get bullied etc at school.

I think, to be honest, the people we need to be worried about having children are the crappy parents that have kids and treat them like shit! People that really mess their kids heads up and abuse them or don't nurture them and give them love. They are the assholes that shouldn't have children...In my opinion anyway.

Question......Would you rather a child be in a home with parents who don't give their child love and attention. Who beat their child and treat them like scum?

Or

Would you like the child to be in a home with same sex parents who adopted them...who will love them and care for them?

As a society we allow the first one to happen, surely you'd rather have the second?