This is how I tend to feel
"she was asking for it"
- Thread starter Honey Bunny
- Start date
Users who are viewing this thread
This is how I tend to feel
-
198Replies
-
2KViews
-
0Participant count
-
Participants list
All Else Failed
Well-Known Member
Well, you certainly aren't helping yourself in any sort of situation if you're dressed like a slut. Different clothes give off different signals.
No one really believes that. Sure rapes occur because of the want to dominate but there certainly are rapes that occur because of sexual motivations.
Of course no woman or man "deserves" to be raped, but lets face it, dressing like a ho is negligence. Even if you completely disregard rape, It attracts the wrong attention.
No one really believes that. Sure rapes occur because of the want to dominate but there certainly are rapes that occur because of sexual motivations.
Of course no woman or man "deserves" to be raped, but lets face it, dressing like a ho is negligence. Even if you completely disregard rape, It attracts the wrong attention.
MjaneGibson
Active Member
Finally someone else was able to put into words what I was trying to say.
i dont agree on the clothes...... and for some people it is about sex and power. for some the only sexual release they can achieve is with force. as many have said...no means no
i have been raped twice.....once at 16 again at 21. at 16 i was wearing a bikini on the beach.....do does me being on the beach, in a bikini, make it ok? HELL NO he wanted the control
the other one needed the fear, dominance and force for him to cum. men raped women, women rape men, men rape men, and women can rape women. no one, and i mean NO ONE deserves it.
i have been raped twice.....once at 16 again at 21. at 16 i was wearing a bikini on the beach.....do does me being on the beach, in a bikini, make it ok? HELL NO he wanted the control
the other one needed the fear, dominance and force for him to cum. men raped women, women rape men, men rape men, and women can rape women. no one, and i mean NO ONE deserves it.
Attitudes like this are why people, to this day, still think...well they dressed for it, it's their own fault. PATHETIC is what it is.
Just like we have freedom of speech we have the freedom to express ourselves through our clothes. There's no need at any point in time for someone to make comments like that at all. You can say you don't think anyone ever deserves to be raped, but the thought from your first is what truly shows others what you feel on the subject.
If I want to go to a bar with my tatas hanging out, then guess what...I'll do it (I'd not really do this)hey guys can walk around with their asses hanging out...WTH is it the women that hear the worst of this kind of crap... It's not up to some guys/women to decided well she should have known better not to dress like that so she'll get what she deserves.
The point is, NO ONE EVER AT ANY POINT NO MATTER HOW THEY DRESS OR ACT...ETC DESERVES TO BE RAPED OR SEXUALLY ASSAULTED!
I'd like to drop kick the first person who ever said...well she was dressed for it.....she should have known...etc.
"Well, you certainly aren't helping yourself in any sort of situation if you're dressed like a slut. Different clothes give off different signals."
While pretty harsh at face value, I don't think that he was stating that it is the girls fault that she is raped because of what she is wearing ... more along the lines of "if a female dresses provocatively, it gains attention, which also means negative attention."
I might be wrong, but I think that is what was meant.
I'm not saying that he's not against rape to the 1000000 degree.
I'm just saying the initial thought of it all doesn't help at all. Just think if no one ever said well she was dressed for it, then this wouldn't even be an issue.
No one should ever think like that...to me that's all there is to it.
But it has been stated multiple times that rape cases are about power, typically, not how they are dressed, so this just reassures me there's no need to say anything about what the person was wearing in correlation to rape.
I agree. The Phrase, "She was asking for it," is absolutely disgusting.
Perhaps I just can't wrap my mind around that of a rapist ... but ... is there absolutely NO influence, at all, on the rapist on how a victim is dressed ... ever? I can't fathom that. Or is it more of the fact that it is such a small percentage of cases that it's really has no grounds for mention at all?
I just go off of what I know and have experienced.
I will leave the statistics up to someone who's studied and or been part of dealing with such sad cases.
A rather uncomfortable topic for sure.
Of course it is more easier to discuss when one has never been a victim of it nor has any loved ones who have fell victim to it ... if I was in such a boat ... probably the mere suggestion of this topic would make me sick.
Of course it is more easier to discuss when one has never been a victim of it nor has any loved ones who have fell victim to it ... if I was in such a boat ... probably the mere suggestion of this topic would make me sick.
All Else Failed
Well-Known Member
that is not what I am even suggesting
bull
shit
SOME rapes are about power. There are different reasons for rape.
Utah State University Sexual Assault and Anti Violence Information:
- A Federal Commission on Crime of Violence Study found that only
4.4% of all reported rapes involved provocative behavior on the part
of the victim. In murder cases 22% involved such behavior (as simple
as a glance).
- Most convicted rapists do not remember what their victims were wearing.
- Victims range in age from days old to those in their nineties,
hardly provocative dressers.
Sexual Assault: Myths and Facts
Myth: She got drunk. She deserved it.
Fact: Getting drunk may reflect poor judgment, but it is not justification for assault.
Myth: Rape is sex.
Fact: Rape is not sex. It is a crime motivated by the need to control, humiliate, and harm. Rapists use sexual violence as a weapon.
Myth: Rapists are lonely, sexually unfulfilled men.
Fact: Studies have shown that more than 60 percent of adult rapists (over 25 years of age) were married, and virtually all the married rapists had normal sex lives with women at the time they committed the assault. Sixty-one percent of convicted rapists are white males, and most are under the age of 40. Sex offenders come from all socioeconomic backgrounds and usually begin assaulting victims in adolescence. One-third of sex offenders are arrested before the age of 24.
Myth: Rape is a rare event that only happens to attractive young women, or women who are promiscuous or provocatively dressed.
Fact: Anyone can be sexually assaulted. Rape victims include people of color, lesbians/gays, people with disabilities, and persons of every race, nationality, religion, and income level. Most sexual assault victims are wearing regular clothes like blue jeans or pajamas when they are assaulted, not provocative clothing.
Myth: Strangers commit most sexual assaults at night in dark alleys.
Fact: More than 75 percent of all sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim knows. Almost two-thirds of rapes and sexual assaults occur between the hours of 6:00 pm - 6:00 am, but not in dark alleys. They occur in the victim's dorm room or apartment.5 Victims assaulted in their homes suffer increased trauma because the violation occurred at a place where they believed they were safe.
Myth: A woman who truly resists can't be raped. If she didn't fight back, she must have wanted it.
Fact: More than 75 percent of women are victims of date rape.6 They do not fight because they know the person assaulting them and cannot believe that someone they know and trust would rape them. Most rape victims are not able to mobilize themselves fast enough or forcefully enough to fight their assailant.
Myth: She went to his room after the party. She was asking for it.
Fact: A young or naive woman may believe a guy might really just want to talk or listen to music. Consenting to go to a man's room is not agreement to have sex. Both partners must communicate verbally and agree to have consensual sex-and both have the right to change their minds at any time.
Myth: It is OK for a man to demand sex if he buys a woman dinner.
Fact: Buying a woman dinner or gifts does not give any man the right to demand sex. Even if the woman has had sex with him or other men before, she still has the right to say no.7
Myth: She had sex with him before so it cannot be rape.
Fact: If a woman does not agree to have sex with a man, even if she has in the past, then the sexual act is still considered rape. Even if he has bought her gifts, he cannot demand sex in return.8
Myth: If a woman drinks, she is more willing to be sexual.
Fact: Women can drink for many reasons, including liking the taste or to relax. Drinking does not mean a woman wants sex. Men who believe that alcohol makes a woman more willing to have sex also perceive that a woman who drinks wants to have sex.9
Myth: It is OK to force sex if a couple has been dating a long time.
Fact: The length of the relationship does not matter. It is never OK for one partner to force sex on the other partner.
References
http://pathwayscourses.samhsa.gov/vawp/vawp_supps_pg11.htm
- A Federal Commission on Crime of Violence Study found that only
4.4% of all reported rapes involved provocative behavior on the part
of the victim. In murder cases 22% involved such behavior (as simple
as a glance).
- Most convicted rapists do not remember what their victims were wearing.
- Victims range in age from days old to those in their nineties,
hardly provocative dressers.
Sexual Assault: Myths and Facts
Myth: She got drunk. She deserved it.
Fact: Getting drunk may reflect poor judgment, but it is not justification for assault.
Myth: Rape is sex.
Fact: Rape is not sex. It is a crime motivated by the need to control, humiliate, and harm. Rapists use sexual violence as a weapon.
Myth: Rapists are lonely, sexually unfulfilled men.
Fact: Studies have shown that more than 60 percent of adult rapists (over 25 years of age) were married, and virtually all the married rapists had normal sex lives with women at the time they committed the assault. Sixty-one percent of convicted rapists are white males, and most are under the age of 40. Sex offenders come from all socioeconomic backgrounds and usually begin assaulting victims in adolescence. One-third of sex offenders are arrested before the age of 24.
Myth: Rape is a rare event that only happens to attractive young women, or women who are promiscuous or provocatively dressed.
Fact: Anyone can be sexually assaulted. Rape victims include people of color, lesbians/gays, people with disabilities, and persons of every race, nationality, religion, and income level. Most sexual assault victims are wearing regular clothes like blue jeans or pajamas when they are assaulted, not provocative clothing.
Myth: Strangers commit most sexual assaults at night in dark alleys.
Fact: More than 75 percent of all sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim knows. Almost two-thirds of rapes and sexual assaults occur between the hours of 6:00 pm - 6:00 am, but not in dark alleys. They occur in the victim's dorm room or apartment.5 Victims assaulted in their homes suffer increased trauma because the violation occurred at a place where they believed they were safe.
Myth: A woman who truly resists can't be raped. If she didn't fight back, she must have wanted it.
Fact: More than 75 percent of women are victims of date rape.6 They do not fight because they know the person assaulting them and cannot believe that someone they know and trust would rape them. Most rape victims are not able to mobilize themselves fast enough or forcefully enough to fight their assailant.
Myth: She went to his room after the party. She was asking for it.
Fact: A young or naive woman may believe a guy might really just want to talk or listen to music. Consenting to go to a man's room is not agreement to have sex. Both partners must communicate verbally and agree to have consensual sex-and both have the right to change their minds at any time.
Myth: It is OK for a man to demand sex if he buys a woman dinner.
Fact: Buying a woman dinner or gifts does not give any man the right to demand sex. Even if the woman has had sex with him or other men before, she still has the right to say no.7
Myth: She had sex with him before so it cannot be rape.
Fact: If a woman does not agree to have sex with a man, even if she has in the past, then the sexual act is still considered rape. Even if he has bought her gifts, he cannot demand sex in return.8
Myth: If a woman drinks, she is more willing to be sexual.
Fact: Women can drink for many reasons, including liking the taste or to relax. Drinking does not mean a woman wants sex. Men who believe that alcohol makes a woman more willing to have sex also perceive that a woman who drinks wants to have sex.9
Myth: It is OK to force sex if a couple has been dating a long time.
Fact: The length of the relationship does not matter. It is never OK for one partner to force sex on the other partner.
References
http://pathwayscourses.samhsa.gov/vawp/vawp_supps_pg11.htm
Last edited by a moderator:
Ahhhh! Okay, so it is a pretty minor percentage of rape that deals with provocative behavior. Good post!
Sexual assault…it’s not about lust and desire, it’s a violent crime of POWER, CONTROL and DOMINANCE
http://www.crisisconnectioninc.org/sexualassault/rapestatistics.htm
- Every 45 seconds someone in the United States is sexually assaulted (1).
- 1 out of every 7 women currently in college has been raped (2), however, 9 out of 10 women raped on campus never tell anyone about the rape (3).
- 1 in 10 men is raped in his lifetime (4), 1 in 7 of those victims will have been assaulted before the age of 18.
- More than 61.5% of rapes are never reported to law enforcement (5).
- Approximately 28% of rape victims are raped by their husbands, 35% by an acquaintance, and 17% by a relative other than spouse (6).
- 74% of sexual assaults are perpetrated by assailants well known to the victim (7).
- A female child victim is 7 times more likely to be re-victimized as an adult (8).
- Nearly 6 out of 10 sexual assaults occur at the victim’s home or the home of a friend, relative, or neighbor (9).
- 1 in 15 rape victims contract a sexually transmitted disease (STD) as a result of being raped (10).
- 1 in 15 rape victims become pregnant as a result of being raped (11).
- The United States has the world’s highest rape rate of all countries that publish such data- 13 times higher than England and more than 20 times higher than Japan (12).
- An American woman is 10 times more likely to be raped than to die in a car crash (13).
- 61% of rape victims are females under the age of 18 (14).
- Contrary to common belief that violent crime rates are notably lower in rural areas, a recent analysis of location data collected for the 1999 National Women’s Study found that10.1% of women living in rural areas had experienced a completed rape as compared to 13.6% of women living in urban and suburban communities—hardly a notably lower rate.
http://www.crisisconnectioninc.org/sexualassault/rapestatistics.htm
Last edited by a moderator:
These statistics show some scary picture about the US, and other powerful countries, however you also have to take into account how in these countries female have more rights and are more likely to report rape. The lack of reports, information and statistics doesn't mean those countries are safer.
Look at this statistic - Pakistan is the last on the list... amount of rape reported=0... seems legit...
http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/cri_rap-crime-rapes
Look at this statistic - Pakistan is the last on the list... amount of rape reported=0... seems legit...
http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/cri_rap-crime-rapes
Last edited by a moderator:
These statistics sound extremely high. I don't deny that a lot of sexual assualts go unreported, but I seriously doubt that 90% of rapes on college campuses go unreported. And 1 in 15 could be right for STDs, but I seriously doubt it on pregnancy.
All Else Failed
Well-Known Member
That is not important. What matters is what they saw when they raped.
The sheer fact that date rape exists lends credence to some rape is about forced sexual desire.
The sheer fact that spousal rape exists is a direct contradiction to that statement.
78,874Threads
2,185,387Messages
4,959Members