"she was asking for it"

[AUFred]

I think the distinction needs to be made between rapists & perverts. How a woman dresses has little to do with being targeted by a sexual predator. How a woman dresses may cause a wandering eye to be attracted or cause the pervert to have thoughts of a sexual encounter but again sexual encounter and rape are far from the same thing.

 

[Panacea]

ones fashion or lack there of has nothing to do with rape, molestation or abuse.

Pretty much every criminal expert I've ever heard has said that rape is a crime of violence, not sexuality. People don't choose their targets to rape because they find them attractive.

Rape is about power, not sex. It's more important that a woman be vigilant in her own safety than that she wear what others deem to be "appropriate" attire. Anybody that believes differently is an idiot, IMO.

And, as usual when it comes to me accidentally wandering into the P&D section, I'll probably be unsubscribing from this thread in the near future. :24:

I agree completely. The best looking victim to a rapist is the one who is easy to rape, not the sexiest one. Unattractive individuals are raped and abused- it's about power, violence, and opportunity.

 

[MjaneGibson]

I think the distinction needs to be made between rapists & perverts. How a woman dresses has little to do with being targeted by a sexual predator. How a woman dresses may cause a wandering eye to be attracted or cause the pervert to have thoughts of a sexual encounter but again sexual encounter and rape are far from the same thing.

Oh...this whole time I thought rape was an unwanted sexual encounter...I got that wrong. I was never raped then! Awesome!

 

[AUFred]

Oh...this whole time I thought rape was an unwanted sexual encounter...I got that wrong. I was never raped then! Awesome!

What I was trying to say is sex and rape are far from the same thing, in my mind. A sexual encounter and an unwanted sexual encounter are not the same thing. I firmly believe NO MEANS NO. Anyone has the right to say no.

 

[MjaneGibson]

What I was trying to say is sex and rape are far from the same thing, in my mind. A sexual encounter and an unwanted sexual encounter are not the same thing. I firmly believ NO MEANS NO. Anyone has the right to say no.

Obviously. That is just the point I am trying to make though. Rape is obviously never warranted...no means no. But I also think people are naive to the fact that some precautions can be made..and if people think lust, attraction, and yes, in some cases, dress, has no influence whatsoever, well you are just fooling yourselves.

 

[AUFred]

Obviously. That is just the point I am trying to make though. Rape is obviously never warranted...no means no. But I also think people are naive to the fact that some precautions can be made..and if people think lust, attraction, and yes, in some cases, dress, has no influence whatsoever, well you are just fooling yourselves.

Date rape is a subject for an entire thread. I believe the "She deserved it" because of the way she dressed defense is just wrong. I think most women have no idea how quickly a sexual assault can happen. I would never take advantage of a woman but it can happen to even the most prepared woman.

My wife took a self-defense course and came home talking about how a man could not take advantage of her. I told her she needed to still be careful. We had a discussion about it and she did not believe me. I told her I could prove my point and she said I would like to see you try. I said very well and I let her choose the scenario. In a matter of a few seconds I had her arms pinned under her and her lower body bare to the world. I then let her up and reminded her I loved her and I am not a huge man or extremely strong or out to hurt her. I think she was genuinely surprised how quickly things can happen.

 

[Panacea]

I don't go on about clothing and rape because I try to imagine being a rape survivor who was scantily clad at the time it occurred. Hearing that could potentially be an undeserved kick to the gut. That's telling someone they had a hand in their own rape and I won't do it.

I'm not sure what you're eluding to about your experiences entirely, MJane, if you're the person in this scenario and you're fine with hearing it, but it's not a place I will go because it's wrong for me to.

 

[Springsteen]

Like many others I don't agree with the "she was asking for it because of how she was dressed" thing, because that can neither be used as an excuse for raping someone or a justification, you should be allowed to wear what you want (within the laws on nudity in public places laws). And I'd certainly be horrified if a rape charge got thrown out because of that very reason. There was this person over here who made this point a few years ago (may have been a politician, can't honestly remember) and I think it was outrage then.

 

[hart]

I think people get pretty sensitive on this subject without listening to what a person is trying to say. I think Fred made a good point, for instance. Dressing provocatively will garner attention. Does that mean you are asking to be raped? Of course not? It may, for instance, mean at a bar you will be hit on more than someone dressed more conservatively.

Someone hoping to get a phone number or have a drink with you is not ur usual rapist. There have been some excellent observations here. Rape IS about power, not sex. Another person here made the observation it's how a woman carries herself more than what she might be wearing. I agree with this. If you are striding confidentally, shoulders back looking like you would scream and put up a fight, you aren't going to be a rapist or a muggers first choice. I don't care if you have short skirt on. Someone hunched up, looking fearful, they appear they won't be hard to subdue......

My two cents.

No one hear said any woman is asking for it. We have a good group.

 

[The Man]

Isn't the highest rape rate in countries where women dress fully clothed as in Muslim countries ?

Which would only prove that how you dress has no correlation on whether you get raped ?

Rape is rape.. Period..

I dont know..I think the hotter one looked the better the chance myself.

I think in the muslim countries you really cant compare..as they all look alike.

Women have no rights anyway in many of those nations

 

[The Man]

I agree completely. The best looking victim to a rapist is the one who is easy to rape, not the sexiest one. Unattractive individuals are raped and abused- it's about power, violence, and opportunity.

All bullshit coined phrases to help a prosecutor win a case by attacking the character of the defendant.
They just want to bust a nut

 

[Natasha]

Obviously. That is just the point I am trying to make though. Rape is obviously never warranted...no means no. But I also think people are naive to the fact that some precautions can be made..and if people think lust, attraction, and yes, in some cases, dress, has no influence whatsoever, well you are just fooling yourselves.

I don't understand your position on this. In your mind, do you think you did something wrong that made you susceptible to your abuse??? If so, I urge you to get counseling (more counseling, if you've already had counseling). Rape is NEVER the victim's fault.

 

[MjaneGibson]

Date rape is a subject for an entire thread. I believe the "She deserved it" because of the way she dressed defense is just wrong. I think most women have no idea how quickly a sexual assault can happen. I would never take advantage of a woman but it can happen to even the most prepared woman.

My wife took a self-defense course and came home talking about how a man could not take advantage of her. I told her she needed to still be careful. We had a discussion about it and she did not believe me. I told her I could prove my point and she said I would like to see you try. I said very well and I let her choose the scenario. In a matter of a few seconds I had her arms pinned under her and her lower body bare to the world. I then let her up and reminded her I loved her and I am not a huge man or extremely strong or out to hurt her. I think she was genuinely surprised how quickly things can happen.

I don't go on about clothing and rape because I try to imagine being a rape survivor who was scantily clad at the time it occurred. Hearing that could potentially be an undeserved kick to the gut. That's telling someone they had a hand in their own rape and I won't do it.

I'm not sure what you're eluding to about your experiences entirely, MJane, if you're the person in this scenario and you're fine with hearing it, but it's not a place I will go because it's wrong for me to.

I want you all to understand what I am saying...I am, under NO circumstance, saying that what a woman wears AT ALL warrants ANY of the behavior that was mentioned, nor do I think she were "asking for it." The only point I was trying to make at all by the original comment to what was originally posted (she mentions that the idiot on fb made a comment about all of the slutty things girls were wearing)was that while I completely disagree with his idiotic point that girls who dress slutty are asking for it, I also realize that women can and should make precautions when they go out.

I am not going to write on this topic any more, I just didn't want people to misunderstand my point...it seemed everyone was implying that I believe scantily clad women deserve to get raped. Obviously, this is not the case.

 

[The Man]

I want you all to understand what I am saying...I am, under NO circumstance, saying that what a woman wears AT ALL warrants ANY of the behavior that was mentioned, nor do I think she were "asking for it." The only point I was trying to make at all by the original comment to what was originally posted (she mentions that the idiot on fb made a comment about all of the slutty things girls were wearing)was that while I completely disagree with his idiotic point that girls who dress slutty are asking for it, I also realize that women can and should make precautions when they go out.

I am not going to write on this topic any more, I just didn't want people to misunderstand my point...it seemed everyone was implying that I believe scantily clad women deserve to get raped. Obviously, this is not the case.

I understood what you meant
Rape is wrong
Be careful how you dress in certain areas ect as rapes do occur.
A slutty dressed woman doesnt invite rape
However she increases her chances...and should be aware.

Sort of like wearing crip clothing in a blood neighborhood....it doesnt justify an attack..but something one should be aware of

 

[Natasha]

I understood what you were saying...I'm just saying that rape isn't about physical attraction, it's about power. It's much more important that a woman travel w/ a group of friends, not leave her drinks unattended, etc. than that she not dress scantily.

 

[skyblue]

I understood what you were saying...I'm just saying that rape isn't about physical attraction, it's about power. It's much more important that a woman travel w/ a group of friends, not leave her drinks unattended, etc. than that she not dress scantily.

or a man,it does happen

 

[Natasha]

or a man,it does happen

Valid point.

 

[The Man]

Indeed I have to be careful how I dress as to avoid becoming a victim of those power tripping women.
Sometimes I wish I was ugly like the rest of the guys and didnt have to worry about it

 

[skyblue]

Indeed I have to be careful how I dress as to avoid becoming a victim of those power tripping women.
Sometimes I wish I was ugly like the rest of the guys and didnt have to worry about it

who mentioned women?

 

[The Man]

who mentioned women?

I have not had a problem attracting guys.