Is it fair to arbitrarily increase punishment to your child?

[Springsteen]

Completely ridiculous comparison for me. As I said, it varies from parent to parent, I was going beyond that and saying some parent's don't announce the punishment beforehand, which is fine. As for increasing it.....Yeah? They are the parent, they can do that. It's the child who shouldn't disobey. Had they not, then the situation would never arise.

 

[Greatest I am]

Completely ridiculous comparison for me. As I said, it varies from parent to parent, I was going beyond that and saying some parent's don't announce the punishment beforehand, which is fine. As for increasing it.....Yeah? They are the parent, they can do that. It's the child who shouldn't disobey. Had they not, then the situation would never arise.

So basically, you are teaching your child that he cannot trust your word and that if he has the power, it is ok for him to break his agreement or contract with others.
Nice moral lesson. Not.

You made the mistake in the first place in your choice of punishment and now your child must suffer for your inadequacy. Nice father.

Regards
DL

 

[Tuffdisc]

So basically, you are teaching your child that he cannot trust your word and that if he has the power, it is ok for him to break his agreement or contract with others.
Nice moral lesson. Not.

You made the mistake in the first place in your choice of punishment and now your child must suffer for your inadequacy. Nice father.

Regards
DL

Oh mr so right is back on, whatever

 

[Springsteen]

So basically, you are teaching your child that he cannot trust your word and that if he has the power, it is ok for him to break his agreement or contract with others.
Nice moral lesson. Not.

You made the mistake in the first place in your choice of punishment and now your child must suffer for your inadequacy. Nice father.

Regards
DL

In my example I wouldn't tell him the punishment beforehand, sure the punishment is mapped out in your head, but saying it? Nah, not for me.

Regards
Springsteen

 

[Greatest I am]

In my example I wouldn't tell him the punishment beforehand, sure the punishment is mapped out in your head, but saying it? Nah, not for me.

Regards
Springsteen

Ok.
Keeping kids in the dark as to your thinking and standards is good then. That will really teach them how to not plan ahead is good. Not.
If you say so.

I wonder why our justice system does not do the same.
I guess your way is better that the thinking of the collective minds of those who devised our justice system.:yuk

Regards
DL

 

[Roxi]

Ok.
Keeping kids in the dark as to your thinking and standards is good then. That will really teach them how to not plan ahead is good. Not.
If you say so.

I wonder why our justice system does not do the same.
I guess your way is better that the thinking of the collective minds of those who devised our justice system.:yuk

Regards
DL

Sheering slightly off course here but I think it has some relevance to the above statement about keeping kids in the dark... Did your kids believe in Father Christmas?? The tooth fairy?? The Easter bunny?? If so did you enforce there beliefs by telling them that a big jolly fat man gives them gifts?? Or a little woman with wings take there teeth and give them cash?? Or there really is a giant bunny running around dropping chocolate eggs everywhere?? I think I already know the answer to this question but just wondering what kind of twisted response you will give me this time.

 

[Greatest I am]

Sheering slightly off course here but I think it has some relevance to the above statement about keeping kids in the dark... Did your kids believe in Father Christmas?? The tooth fairy?? The Easter bunny?? If so did you enforce there beliefs by telling them that a big jolly fat man gives them gifts?? Or a little woman with wings take there teeth and give them cash?? Or there really is a giant bunny running around dropping chocolate eggs everywhere?? I think I already know the answer to this question but just wondering what kind of twisted response you will give me this time.

I, mostly through my wife, allowed our children to enjoy fantasy till they were old enough to question things themselves under the influence of their peers.
When confronted with doubt and questions we came clean.
One out of the 4, the most intelligent and logical one, says he is not sure if that is the right thing to do but has yet to show what he will do when he has children of his own.

Would I do things differently and make kids stop using their imaginations at 2,3,4,5?
Not likely. It gives something positive to something negative like losing teeth.

Regards
DL

 

[Roxi]

I, mostly through my wife, allowed our children to enjoy fantasy till they were old enough to question things themselves under the influence of their peers.
When confronted with doubt and questions we came clean.
One out of the 4, the most intelligent and logical one, says he is not sure if that is the right thing to do but has yet to show what he will do when he has children of his own.

Would I do things differently and make kids stop using their imaginations at 2,3,4,5?
Not likely. It gives something positive to something negative like losing teeth.

Regards
DL

Ill leave it at that and thank you for the honest answer.

 

[Greatest I am]

Ill leave it at that and thank you for the honest answer.

Your welcome. being an absent minded professor type, I always tell the truth as I tend to forget things immediately after I say them. That is also why I write in a strange way.
I don't recall if you were at one of my posts where I posted the same link often enough that people complained about it.

You will never catch me in a lie. I have a phobia about them.

Regards
DL

 

[Guyzerr]

You will never catch me in a lie. I have a phobia about them.

Regards
DL

And this quote from one of your previous posts means what then? :24:

When confronted with doubt and questions we came clean.
Regards
DL

 

[itsmeJonB]

Lying to children is ok then. Ok.

How about the reward side. Should parents promise pay, let's say, for shoveling the walk, and afterwards not pay the child?

A double standard on your part says that you would not hold back payment and that goes against your arbitrary adding on of punishment.

Your child will be confused.

Regards
DL

"Dad, I have a confession to make but I dont want you to get mad"
"Well you better tell me son, since you brought it up"
"Will you promise not to be mad?"
"I promise, because I love you, I wont be mad"
"Me and the guys got hopped up on cocaine and killed three people in a drug induced drive by shooting, we then evaded cops for miles before crashing your car and hitchhiking back home"

guess what, I'd be mad

 

[Minor Axis]

"Dad, I have a confession to make but I dont want you to get mad"
"Well you better tell me son, since you brought it up"
"Will you promise not to be mad?"
"I promise, because I love you, I wont be mad"
"Me and the guys got hopped up on cocaine and killed three people in a drug induced drive by shooting, we then evaded cops for miles before crashing your car and hitchhiking back home"

guess what, I'd be mad

"But I will be incredibly devastated..."

 

[Greatest I am]

"Dad, I have a confession to make but I dont want you to get mad"
"Well you better tell me son, since you brought it up"
"Will you promise not to be mad?"
"I promise, because I love you, I wont be mad"
"Me and the guys got hopped up on cocaine and killed three people in a drug induced drive by shooting, we then evaded cops for miles before crashing your car and hitchhiking back home"

guess what, I'd be mad

And take it out on your son because you were silly enough to agree to something you had no inkling of.
Making your child suffer for your idiocy once again.
Do you ever take responsibility for your choices?

Regards
DL

 

[Greatest I am]

And this quote from one of your previous posts means what then? :24:

Show the lie.

Regards
DL

 

[retro]

Show the lie.

Regards
DL

Are you claiming that you simply don't lie?

 

[Tuffdisc]

Show the lie.

Regards
DL

The problem here, is that you have something called an ego, you think you are right in everything

 

[itsmeJonB]

And take it out on your son because you were silly enough to agree to something you had no inkling of.
Making your child suffer for your idiocy once again.
Do you ever take responsibility for your choices?

Regards
DL

No his actions have to be accounted for regardless of a parenting choice

 

[Guyzerr]

Show the lie.

Regards
DL

When confronted with doubt and questions we came clean.
Regards
DL

If you weren't CONFRONTED with DOUBT and QUESTIONS you WOULD NOT HAVE COME CLEAN.

Keep in mind you said it not me but as far as I'm concerned your last 5 words say it all.

 

[Greatest I am]

Are you claiming that you simply don't lie?

I am claiming that because of my absentmindedness, I try never to lie because I am afraid of forgetting I did and get myself caught. I have damn neara phobia about it.

Probably a hold over from my youth as a minor delinquent with a------

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yIjddye2JSA

Regards
DL

 

[Greatest I am]

The problem here, is that you have something called an ego, you think you are right in everything

That is what got me my apotheosis and I would not give it up. It is large but fragile. That is what drives me to make god damn sure I am right before speaking.

I note that you step up unprepared. I say this not to offend but to encourage you to pick your battles more carefully.

Go for those in your class on whatever subjects you choose. We are all better at some things or topics than others. Fight from your strong side.

Regards
DL