Is it fair to arbitrarily increase punishment to your child?

[Greatest I am]

no I am not - more of a Humanist, that is i believe we make our own beds and lie accordingly

Exactly.

Regards
DL

 

[Guyzerr]

Is it fair to arbitrarily increase punishment to your child?

If you were to tell your child that if he or she did a certain sin or mistake, you would implement a certain punishment, and when that infraction took place, you added a number of extra punishment, would you think you were acting in a fair and just manner?

A scenario would go like this.
If you told your son, if you do not make your bed, I will ground you for 2 days.
That same day, he did not or refused to make his bed.
You confront him and say that he is grounded for 2 days. At the same time, you tell him that he is also grounded for a further week and also looses all T V privileges and must also do the dishes for a month.

Do you think you have dealt fairly with your child?

Regards
DL

Scenario #1- the kid " forgot " to make his bed so you tack on a bit of extra punishment.

Have I dealt fairly with the little darling? No I have not. A deal is a deal.

Scenario #2 - The brat " refused " to make his bed so I tacked on a bit of extra punishment.

Have I dealt fairly with the little brat? Yes I have. Deliberate defiance by a child has to be dealt with in a more sever fashion. They must be taught that there are consequences over and above the norm if and when they decide to push the limits.

My views are completely devoid of any religious beliefs.

 

[Greatest I am]

Hate to say it but due to lack of respect its fair, adding the fact that the child showed no regard to there parents authority and disrespected it would be grounds for harsher punishment imo

I stated that he refused. I did not add more infractions.

It may have gone like this.

Father. Time to make your bed son.

Son. I do not feel like it today dad so I will take a two day grounding.


That is not disrespect for the parent. it is the child choosing the stick instead of the carrot.

That out of the way.

Is it just for a parent to arbitrarily add on punishments?
Also, could you indicate if you are a theist?

Regards
DL

 

[Greatest I am]

According to Christianity, it tells the children to respect their parents, but tells the parents not to frustrate the children

Which Christianity. There are a plethora.
How many wives in your sect if you are Christian?

And your answer to the O P or solution to the dilemma is?

I think I know but want to hear you say it.

Regards
DL

 

[Guyzerr]

I stated that he refused. I did not add more infractions.

It may have gone like this.

Father. Time to make your bed son.

Son. I do not feel like it today dad so I will take a two day grounding.


That is not disrespect for the parent. it is the child choosing the stick instead of the carrot.

That out of the way.

Is it just for a parent to arbitrarily add on punishments?
Also, could you indicate if you are a theist?

Regards
DL

It absolutely is disrespect for the parent. You are sugarcoating your carrot / stick definition for the sake of dragging out your position and it's attitudes / actions by parents such as that which is causing the youth of today to be so defiant and disrespectful.

In case you haven't picked up on it I am not a theist.

 

[Tangerine]

That's right it is.

As to corporeal punishment; man should remember that he learned and used the tool of speech, before he learned the use of force.

He might ask himself why he has allowed himself to revert to the second, less helpful tool.
A parent that uses force is showing that he is not raising his child up to a better standard but is bringing himself down to a lower one.

The parent is admitting that he forgot to think himself out of the dilemma and now must eat crow and use his body instead of his mind.

Regards
DL

You state your opinions/beliefs as if they are somehow "fact." Why?

Makes you sound like a minister or preacher.

 

[Greatest I am]

Scenario #1- the kid " forgot " to make his bed so you tack on a bit of extra punishment.

Have I dealt fairly with the little darling? No I have not. A deal is a deal.

Scenario #2 - The brat " refused " to make his bed so I tacked on a bit of extra punishment.

Have I dealt fairly with the little brat? Yes I have. Deliberate defiance by a child has to be dealt with in a more sever fashion. They must be taught that there are consequences over and above the norm if and when they decide to push the limits.

My views are completely devoid of any religious beliefs.

I do not think you have.

When you made up the---- if you do not make your bed you get punishment X---rule, or any rule for that matter, the mental conditions or circumstances that lead to the breaking of that rule are always included in punishment X and understood.

The parent knows in advance that the harder he pushes, the harder the child will push back.

Where would you draw the line for one no bed making infraction.

The kid is lazy--one extra slap.
The kid just wants a two day grounding----2 extra slaps.
The kid tells you to screw off after you pester him for 2 hours----3 slaps and one knife to the heart.

Your way does not work.

Regards
DL

 

[Greatest I am]

It absolutely is disrespect for the parent. You are sugarcoating your carrot / stick definition for the sake of dragging out your position and it's attitudes / actions by parents such as that which is causing the youth of today to be so defiant and disrespectful.

In case you haven't picked up on it I am not a theist.

And not much of a thinker either.

Your idea of child rearing is the same as what God offers man as free will. A threat. Don't tell me you do not follow God's example.

Check out what you sound like.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUtSM2oVy_E&feature=PlayList&p=1CE5D4A0E35E651C&index=0&playnext=1

Regards
DL

 

[Greatest I am]

You state your opinions/beliefs as if they are somehow "fact." Why?

Makes you sound like a minister or preacher.

Is what I said fact?

If so then that is why they sound like facts.
It is how they ring to your ear.

Regards
DL

 

[Springsteen]

He might ask himself why he has allowed himself to revert to the second, less helpful tool.

Because he can? Seriously, he's the parent and it's his punishment, and heck, that punishment might have been effective in the past. Now as I say, violent beatings aren't to be condoned, but if the kid has behaved better after a smack on the legs before then the likelihood is it will work again. And as I alluded to, if it's worked before, then it isn't less helpful because it's worked in the past.

A parent that uses force is showing that he is not raising his child up to a better standard but is bringing himself down to a lower one.

But again, that's untrue if it's proven to have been effective in the past in dealing with a misbehaving child.

Father. Time to make your bed son.

Son. I do not feel like it today dad so I will take a two day grounding.

That is not disrespect for the parent. it is the child choosing the stick instead of the carrot.

Of course it's disrespectful, because the kid is overriding the parent and choosing his parent without thinking to apologize for not making his bed. Now sure that might tell us that not making the bed gets that kid that punishment, but it doesn't make it better.

As I say, it's up to a parent to choose the punishment and make it stick. It's no good for example to ground a kid for 3 days, and thne on day 1 for the kid's friends to clal round for him, you say he's not coming out, but then the kid goes "pleaseeeeeeeeeee" and you relent and let him out, because it shows weakness in authority and it also shows that that the kid might think "Hey that was easy, I could get away with that way"

 

[MoonOwl]

Our kid lives under a Monarchy. What we say goes. If she doesn't like it and thinks it's unfair she gets another lesson in the fact that life ain't fair.:cool

 

[Tangerine]

Is what I said fact?

If so then that is why they sound like facts.
It is how they ring to your ear.

Regards
DL

They ring to my ear like all other arrogant posturings of blowhards like yourself - completely meaningless and irrelevant.

You want to believe that you are somehow "right" and others are wrong or somehow less intelligent
than you because they don't share the same views. People with any sense of humility tend to express their opinions with qualifying words like "I believe" or "I think." Clearly you neither know nor care the difference in fact and opinion, and that is why I would never indulge you in an attempt at meaningful debate.

 

[Guyzerr]

I do not think you have.

When you made up the---- if you do not make your bed you get punishment X---rule, or any rule for that matter, the mental conditions or circumstances that lead to the breaking of that rule are always included in punishment X and understood.

The parent knows in advance that the harder he pushes, the harder the child will push back.

Where would you draw the line for one no bed making infraction.

The kid is lazy--one extra slap.
The kid just wants a two day grounding----2 extra slaps.
The kid tells you to screw off after you pester him for 2 hours----3 slaps and one knife to the heart.

Your way does not work.

Regards
DL

Oh goodie... we've now established that you are another poster with poor reading and comprehension skills. Instead of putting words in my mouth show me where I mentioned slapping anyone. While you're at it show me in your OP where you mentioned physical punishment. You don't even know what the fuck you wrote. What a waste of time and humanity.

 

[Guyzerr]

And not much of a thinker either.

Your idea of child rearing is the same as what God offers man as free will. A threat. Don't tell me you do not follow God's example.

Check out what you sound like.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUtSM2oVy_E&feature=PlayList&p=1CE5D4A0E35E651C&index=0&playnext=1
Regards
DL

See my post # 33 and respond to that. Make sure you don't twist it to suit your agenda... whatever the hell it is today.

 

[Roxi]

I stated that he refused. I did not add more infractions.

It may have gone like this.

Father. Time to make your bed son.

Son. I do not feel like it today dad so I will take a two day grounding.


That is not disrespect for the parent. it is the child choosing the stick instead of the carrot.

That out of the way.

Is it just for a parent to arbitrarily add on punishments?
Also, could you indicate if you are a theist?

Regards
DL

To tell you parent no I don't feel like it ill take the grounding is disrespecting a request made by the parent and accepting the PUNISHMENT so ill stick by my comment.. its called a punishment for a reason dear..

 

[Roxi]

And not much of a thinker either.

Your idea of child rearing is the same as what God offers man as free will. A threat. Don't tell me you do not follow God's example.

Check out what you sound like.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUtSM2oVy_E&feature=PlayList&p=1CE5D4A0E35E651C&index=0&playnext=1

Regards
DL

As for this comment towards Guy.. You need to check yourself mate, do you even have bloody kids? I don't but at least I have respect for my parents!! Think you owe him a apologie!

 

[mazHur]

Children must respect their parents, whatever.

It is a very special and divinely-endowed fiduciary relation between parent and children...
and demands of children respecting their parent and never being insolent to them.
If they don't respect their parents one can expect a quicker breakdown of the family....
due to indiscipline, disrespect and meanness.

As to parents role towards children that is not the topic here ....so no comments at this point.

 

[Francis]

As to parents role towards children that is not the topic here ....so no comments at this point.

And here I agree.. This topic has nothing to do with child behaviour but rather is an enticement in the "religion" thread.

The whole idea is to coerce you into one track of a topic and then try to ambush you with how a God or Christian Belief will be evil..

The reality is that distortion of the original OP is the objective here.. Deception is the primary path to make you believe religion is evil.. Its a pretty sad statement when its is such the case.. :thumbdown

 

[mazHur]

And here I agree.. This topic has nothing to do with child behaviour but rather is an enticement in the "religion" thread.

The whole idea is to coerce you into one track of a topic and then try to ambush you with how a God or Christian Belief will be evil..

The reality is that distortion of the original OP is the objective here.. Deception is the primary path to make you believe religion is evil.. Its a pretty sad statement when its is such the case.. :thumbdown

Wrong. There is more to respecting parents than religion..but I can't deny the wisdom of the 10 Commandments in this matter too.
Ever heard of sociology??
Ever thought how parents look after their children from birth to until he's able to survive himself??
Don't you think the children owe a 'thanksgiving' to them as well??

 

[GoatCode]

Why wouldn't it be fair? Your kid, your rules, your choice of punishment.