I am working my way into my "atheism", so to speak, which annoys me because I shouldn't even have to identify as an atheist...I don't identify as an Aunicornist, or have to defend the other things I don't believe in...so...but anyway I digress.
Let's start with actually talking about theism, because a lot of people misrepresent the terms...it works on a system of belief and knowledge: there's theist (belief in god/s) and atheist (no belief in god/s) THEN there is agnostic (I don't believe we can know if god exists) and gnostic (I do believe we can know if god exists).
Now. I'm a gnostic atheist. I think it is possible to know if a god exists (sounds pretty open minded, no?) I just feel we just don't have that knowledge yet, and I have no idea if we ever will. For me, it's the best bet just to assume no god as we currently define it exists, and to keep a curious mind open to evidence and discovery. I'm of the suspicion "god" is a man made concept.
Ok now the mud slinging:
Lots and lots of theists I have known have claimed atheists are mean and cocky. Then some go off about how they're going to hell, are baby eaters, kiddy fuckers, a-moral, miserable (down-trodden), close minded, cruel, rude. Hm pot, kettle, hai.
There's half a point there, and then just a bunch of horse shit. For the point, I will say, I know a lot of atheists who aren't quite as emotional as theists. When debating theism, there is this divide that goes much further than just "yes god" or "no god" it's literally that theism has saved someone's life, and they love their god more than their own children , etc wow powerful stuff versus the frame of mind an atheist (and "agnostics" sometimes too, seriously, it's not just us) has, which is...why the fuck does the Vatican protect molesters, why is religion so oppressive, what the fuck would anyone be doing supporting this, etc.
This is hugely difficult to reconcile. For one side, the good outweighs the bad, and for the other side, the bad outweighs the good, regardless of how "open minded" a person is.
As for the cocky atheist thing, it is there in highly intellectual and brand new atheists, I think. Really intellectual people are cocky because they're really intellectual. Even the most humble bumble, if they're smarter than most people, they're gonna seem cocky. I'm cool with that. You're smart, you work hard to know things about science, go you. To a new atheist, the realization that there really is no reason to believe in god is an exciting one. Then, the realization the evidence is on your side (since one cannot prove a negative) can give people a little bit too much confidence.
But there's where I will stop, because the rest of the insults are just...well, fuel to the fire. When someone who believes in something you feel can't be proven is constantly making judgments about your character and your future after death, it kind of makes tolerance and respect difficult.
Also, I have a feeling "open minded" is just code for "believe in what cannot be proven". Not everyone wants to make that leap in logic, but it doesn't mean they are closed off to arguments and new information.