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:24: What makes this even funnier is that the guy's shorts are already wet, which tells me they tried this over and over until they got it right. :24:
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:24: What makes this even funnier is that the guy's shorts are already wet, which tells me they tried this over and over until they got it right. :24:
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Jezzebelle
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Honey Bunny
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Minderella
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Teehee.
Coming into the bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over and confided to the bartender,
"I'm so pissed off!"
"Oh yeah? What happened?" asked the bartender politely.
"See, I met this beautiful woman who invited me back to her home.
We stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and we were just about to make love when her god damned husband came in the front door.
So I had to jump out of the bedroom window and hang from the ledge by my fingernails!"
"Gee, that's tough!" commiserated the bartender.
"Right, but that's not what really got me aggravated," the customer went on.
"When her husband came into the room he said 'Hey great! You're naked already! Let me just take a leak.'
And damned if the lazy son of a bitch didn't piss out the window right onto my head?"
"Yeech!" the bartender shook his head. "No wonder you're in a lousy mood."
"Yeah, but I haven't told you what really, really got to me.
Next, I had to listen to them grunting and groaning and when they finished, the husband tossed his condom out of the window.
And where does it land? My damned forehead!"
"Damn, that really is a drag!" says the bartender.
"Oh, I'm not finished. See what really pissed me off was when the husband had to take a dump.
It turns out that their toilet is broken, so he stuck his ass out of the window and let loose right on my head !"
The bartender paled. "That would sure mess up my day."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," the fellow rattled on, "but do you know what REALLY, REALLY, REALLY pissed me off?
When I looked down and saw that my feet were only SIX inches off the ground!!"
"I'm so pissed off!"
"Oh yeah? What happened?" asked the bartender politely.
"See, I met this beautiful woman who invited me back to her home.
We stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and we were just about to make love when her god damned husband came in the front door.
So I had to jump out of the bedroom window and hang from the ledge by my fingernails!"
"Gee, that's tough!" commiserated the bartender.
"Right, but that's not what really got me aggravated," the customer went on.
"When her husband came into the room he said 'Hey great! You're naked already! Let me just take a leak.'
And damned if the lazy son of a bitch didn't piss out the window right onto my head?"
"Yeech!" the bartender shook his head. "No wonder you're in a lousy mood."
"Yeah, but I haven't told you what really, really got to me.
Next, I had to listen to them grunting and groaning and when they finished, the husband tossed his condom out of the window.
And where does it land? My damned forehead!"
"Damn, that really is a drag!" says the bartender.
"Oh, I'm not finished. See what really pissed me off was when the husband had to take a dump.
It turns out that their toilet is broken, so he stuck his ass out of the window and let loose right on my head !"
The bartender paled. "That would sure mess up my day."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," the fellow rattled on, "but do you know what REALLY, REALLY, REALLY pissed me off?
When I looked down and saw that my feet were only SIX inches off the ground!!"
TenaciousDave
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Jezzebelle
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TenaciousDave
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Minderella
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Honey Bunny
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[h=3]The Best Irish Toast[/h]
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!" That won him top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night.
He went home and told his wife Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night." Mary states, "Did ya now...and what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
Mary says "John, that is very nice indeed."
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
Mary says, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised meself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years...once he fell asleep and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to get him to come!"
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!" That won him top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night.He went home and told his wife Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night." Mary states, "Did ya now...and what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
Mary says "John, that is very nice indeed."
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
Mary says, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised meself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years...once he fell asleep and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to get him to come!"
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