Good wish/bad wish

[drb]

wish granted but the only thing your motivated to do is masturbate, which your do until your penis falls off.

i wish i had my pay-check

 

[UncleBacon]

wish granted but the bank finds a unpayed bill that has made quite a bit of intereset on it and keeps the entire check



I wish the weather wasn't shitty today so I could go on the damn fishing trip

 

[Boomer]

Granted. The weather clears up and you go to the damn fishing trip. While at the dam a guy who is running from the FBI slips something into your pocket before throwing himself from the rail. You touch yourself a little while watching him fall, but then you notice that you have like extra hair on your knuckles. Then you start morphing into a liger and taking out police and civilians alike. Suddenly your hit with a scud missle and you die.

I wish I had a sandwich.

 

[memento_mori]

your mom makes you a ham and cheese sandwich, but you're still crazy. the crust wasn't cut off so you go on a killing spree wich ends in you being deported to canada.

i wish i could speak japanese

 

[UncleBacon]

granted you now speak japanese but don't understand any of it


Iwish I wasn't bored right now

 

[Boomer]

Granted, you get raped by a pig monkey man.

I wish I had a pipe wrench.

 

[UncleBacon]

granted but it falls on you head killing you instantly after 20 painful seizures

I wish I didn't have to drive an hour to buy this damn gun

 

[Boomer]

Granted, a postal worker walks in holding your gun and discharges it into your nutz. You live....but do you really?

Wish I was outa work.

 

[UncleBacon]

granted gets out of work early only to wolk off the curb and get run down by a run away bus

I wish my knee didn't hurt

 

[drb]

wish granted the doctor solves yer problem by amputating yer leg

i wish i was a pirate

 

[ouachiski]

granted but you get termites in your peg leg and your parrot gets the bird flu

I wish boomer would quit touching himself

 

[drb]

wish granted but now he's touching you

i wish i wasn't so jittery from caffine

 

[memento_mori]

granted. you gain a tolerance for caffeine and have to switch to cocaine.

i wish i knew what to do today

 

[Boomer]

Granted, You find out you have to have sex with your grandmother to save the world


Wish I could get a break.

 

[drb]

wish granted they break yer arm (the fretting one)

i wish i wasn't here

 

[memento_mori]

“ú–{‚É‚¢‚é


i wish i had my own band

 

[Boomer]

granted, but your band mates are blind and def.

I wish I could go on vacation.

 

[drb]

wish granted while on vacation you meet up with a girl and you wake up the next morning in a seedy hotel room missing a kidney

i wish i had super powers

 

[Boomer]

granted, but your super power is shitting motzah balls.

Wish I had a chainsaw.

 

[drb]

wish granted but leather-face gets pissed at you skins you and wears you as his good sunday clothes

i wish i could breathe under-water