What do you hate about adult movies

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Keight

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Whats not to like....

Tacky Music... Good
Naked people...Good
Moans and groans...sometimes good even though they are hella fake most the time

Oh i found something.... I hate the over the top fake 80's moustahces the men seem to be sporting.... like thats the real reason people watch porn :24:
 
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Tyler Durden

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Close up's on the guys face

Anything with Amateur on it that clearly is not

Milf stuff which features a porn actress who's about 25

Soft porn (serioulsy if she's riding his chest how can I possibly believe anything is actually happening here)

Guys that go on too long and make me jealous :clap
 

Natasha

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I've only watched 1 porn all the way through...so I'm not the aficionado on porn BUT...

I cannot stand to hear "Of fuck yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh" over and over again. LOL
 

Obdurate

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Dani Woodward has pretty decent scenes. Doesn't seem quite as fake, like she's actually enjoying it.

Anyway, I can't believe people are actually dissing the cheesy music and the horrible plot lines! That stuff is hilarious! I would love to write a porno, it'd be so much fun. In fact, I even have the beginning:

Start off with some words on a black screen, something that talks about how the world is in turmoil and a hero must emerge and save the world. Have an old, wise man narrate it because what's cooler than a gruff voice?
Cut to some really nice scenery shots, showing how beautiful the world could be.

Cut to a shot where the camera is kind of on the ground, showing the back of someone's fully clothed legs.

Pan around a bit so you can see there's a person standing a ways in front of him, while still showing the legs. Think of a Western movie where two people are having a stand off... wait for a minute, build tension...

Then the pants drop. Bam, right there.

I'll call it... Hardwood.



What I don't like about porn are some of the stupid positions. Not the ones you don't see very often, but the stupid fucking position where the guy is lying down, and the girl is riding him only she's not facing him, she's facing the camera and her legs are spread open. So like, they're both facing the same way. I didn't describe that well, I don't think, but I hate it because it's in every porn movie and they only do it because it "looks good" for the camera. I'd rather watch genuine looking sex. I hate that position.
 

Tyler Durden

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The cuts at the "climax" of the show.

I mean when the guy is clearly having problems "spaffing" and they edit it so badly that everyone is a completely different position for the final money shot.

I want realistic porn where we have the conversation between them, the whole "it's not you it's me", "well maybe if we try this", "well put that picture of your mother on the mantlepiece out of my eyeline" thing.
 

Obdurate

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Like what?

They're movies. So everything that can be included in movies and the things you said you didn't give a shit about when it comes to porn. Music, plot, dialogue, characters.

Now, lol, I don't go to my porn for some Casablanca script, but you can get more out of porn -- like amusement -- then just gettin' off. And we all know that a silly plot that genuinely amuses can be a skill in its own. If not, exploitation films may not exist.

Let's not forget that there are artistic adult movies out there.
 
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