"she was asking for it"

[Honey Bunny]

Debate isn't my thing, so I apologize, and a precursory search didn't show me any similar threads, so if there are, then i missed them.

Ok so I come across a post on fb by a girl I went to HS with, it's not something I'd normally reply to but she had basically said "to the girls who dress slutty, have you seen how many women are getting raped lately? cover yourself" more or less that was the gist of her post, I confronted her and said that even if a woman is out on the streets roaming around naked does not mean she is asking to be raped, she then claimed she was sending a message about self respect, yea, two total different messages imo, then this guy comes on and says "if they dressed like slutbag hoes then they asking to get raped and deserve it" I'm flabbergasted at this level of stupidity.

so what is your take, does dressing like a "slutbag hoe" mean a woman is asking to get raped?

 

[fuel1316]

ones fashion or lack there of has nothing to do with rape, molestation or abuse.

 

[MjaneGibson]

Debate isn't my thing, so I apologize, and a precursory search didn't show me any similar threads, so if there are, then i missed them.

Ok so I come across a post on fb by a girl I went to HS with, it's not something I'd normally reply to but she had basically said "to the girls who dress slutty, have you seen how many women are getting raped lately? cover yourself" more or less that was the gist of her post, I confronted her and said that even if a woman is out on the streets roaming around naked does not mean she is asking to be raped, she then claimed she was sending a message about self respect, yea, two total different messages imo, then this guy comes on and says "if they dressed like slutbag hoes then they asking to get raped and deserve it" I'm flabbergasted at this level of stupidity.

so what is your take, does dressing like a "slutbag hoe" mean a woman is asking to get raped?

It definitely doesn't mean she is ASKING for it. However, I am realistic. A girl walking down the street dressed a little scantily glad would likely look more appealing to your typical "rapist" than say someone who is a little more covered up. Of course, under NO circumstance does this put any blame on the woman, but I do think women are smart enough to know that they may be tempting to a creep when wearing sweats, let alone something that is of a revealing nature.

 

[fuel1316]

It definitely doesn't mean she is ASKING for it. However, I am realistic. A girl walking down the street dressed a little scantily glad would likely look more appealing to your typical "rapist" than say someone who is a little more covered up. Of course, under NO circumstance does this put any blame on the woman, but I do think women are smart enough to know that they may be tempting to a creep when wearing sweats, let alone something that is of a revealing nature.

if that was at all true then half the people at the beach and public pool would be getting raped! all of europe would be getting raped!

 

[Tangerine]

Pretty much every criminal expert I've ever heard has said that rape is a crime of violence, not sexuality. People don't choose their targets to rape because they find them attractive.

 

[MjaneGibson]

if that was at all true then half the people at the beach and public pool would be getting raped! all of europe would be getting raped!

Please don't misunderstand me. I am not disagreeing with you...and while you make a good point, it's a little different because there are usually people around at the beach. A girl walking around during the day in a bathing suit, on a beach, surrounded by people is not quite as likely to get raped as a young girl walking home by herself or with a friend, at night, wearing something revealing. Again, not this does not mean that anybody deserves or asks for something like that. But again, to be realistic, men and women are naturally attracted to bare skin. If you are sick, have a screw loose, things like that can be triggers...I don't really see how one can brush that aside.

 

[Mercury]

I think there is another thread on this titled, "It's never the victims fault folks!" At least the posts started touching on this subject but regardless, it is a very sensitive topic.

Is a girl who is walking down the street that is wearing ... whatever ... ask to be raped or deserve to be raped? No. Not at all. In a sensible, legal society she is a law abiding citizen not doing anything wrong and the person who decides to attack her is 100% in the wrong.

As for probability and common sense goes ... probably not a smart idea to be walking in a secluded area ... at all. However, sometimes that is simply something you can't control.

As for the FB comment from a guy saying "She deserves it" ... that is simply either someone looking to make a "shocking" comment or a future inmate and is a very disgusting thing to say.

 

[fuel1316]

Please don't misunderstand me. I am not disagreeing with you...and while you make a good point, it's a little different because there are usually people around at the beach. A girl walking around during the day in a bathing suit, on a beach, surrounded by people is not quite as likely to get raped as a young girl walking home by herself or with a friend, at night, wearing something revealing. Again, not this does not mean that anybody deserves or asks for something like that. But again, to be realistic, men and women are naturally attracted to bare skin. If you are sick, have a screw loose, things like that can be triggers...I don't really see how one can brush that aside.

i would imagine the way a rapist thinks that even if it were sexually appealing which i do not believe at all (i agree with tangerine that its a crime of violence not sexuality) that the rapist would rather attack the more subtle woman wearing more conservative clothes. the drunk co-ed in a tube top and mini skirt is likely to have many more eyes following her and make her less of an "easy target" than say the woman in beige business attire. i also dont believe that many rapists make a habit of just jumping on random women where ever they so happen to see them. its more likely they follow them home and its less likely some drunken slutty dressed co-ed is walking into an empty house..

 

[fuel1316]

No other crime victim is looked upon with the degree of suspicion and doubt as a victim of rape. Although there are numerous reasons why society has cast blame on the victims of rape, a major reason found in studies is that of a feeling of self protection. If one believes that the victim was responsible because she put herself in an unsafe position, such as being out late at night, drinking alcohol, dressing in a certain way, or "leading on" the rapist, then we are able to feel safer because "we wouldn't do those things." But, the basic fact remains that without consent, no means no, no matter what the situation or circumstances.

​

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SlutWalk is a great explanation on how thousands of women feel on the subject

 

[Natasha]

Rape is about power, not sex. It's more important that a woman be vigilant in her own safety than that she wear what others deem to be "appropriate" attire. Anybody that believes differently is an idiot, IMO.

And, as usual when it comes to me accidentally wandering into the P&D section, I'll probably be unsubscribing from this thread in the near future. :24:

 

[Minderella]

Rape is about power, not sex. It's more important that a woman be vigilant in her own safety than that she wear what others deem to be "appropriate" attire. Anybody that believes differently is an idiot, IMO.

This.

However, even being aware of ones safety doesn't make rape 100% preventable. It helps, absolutely.

 

[Natasha]

However, even being aware of ones safety doesn't make rape 100% preventable.

Oh absolutely, you're right. In a world where people you have known and trusted can turn on you, there's no 100% fool-proof way to prevent a sexual assault.

 

[The Man]

Dont you girls be dressing like Muslims because of the fuckers...we still want to see some shape so we can think of you later when we bang our GF at the house

 

[Abcinthia]

It doesn't matter how you dress, no one is ever asking for it. Just like walking home alone or being drunk doesn't mean the woman is asking for it. Being in a relationship or going on a date doesn't mean that the woman cannot say no to sex.


I remember there was a case in the UK years ago where a judge let off a paedophile because his 10 year old female victim was wearing adult underwear at the time (trying to find a link for it online but it was mid 2000s and I'm not getting much luck). Because she was wearing adult underwear the judge decided the 10 year old was asking for sexual attention and was therefore not a victim of rape. The story has stuck with me because I was (and still am) so disgusted at the judge. What a depressingly shit point of view from someone in such a powerful position.

 

[skyblue]

so lets get this straight,if a girls on a beach she must be in jeans and a woolie jumper because in a bikini she'll be asking for it

my daughter wears short skirts etc when shes out,anyone rapes her and he will lose the ability to breed,my bolt croppers will see to that

 

[Niamh]

I really don't think what a person is wearing would turn someone into a rapist and I don't think a rapist would decide not to rape someone because they were dressed respectfully.

 

[Joe the meek]

So...prior to people dressing in scantly dressed clothing, rape didn't exist in the human species?

Hmmm, perhaps the highest rate of rape occurs in nudist colonies?

Hmmm, how many strippers are raped at titty bars?

Sorry, the way a person dresses does not determine if they will be the target of rape in my book.

 

[darkcgi]

Nothing protects you from being chosen
Rapists are people with altered judgments so they may have any number of things that draws them to a woman
could be a Conservative strong woman so he can break someone difficult
or some woman that is slutty dress cause he thinks she deserves what she gets
all im saying is just cause she dresses slutty doesn't add or reduce her chances
best to reduce your chances is to not be alone

 

[MjaneGibson]

I think that because this is such a tough subject for most that my ability to shed some reality on the matter will just get scolded and reprimanded because it is not what people want to think. I know what it is like to deal with this more than many who have written here and yet I am being misunderstood and made to feel as though many of you are naive to the harsh realities of rape.

 

[Francis]

Dont you girls be dressing like Muslims

Isn't the highest rape rate in countries where women dress fully clothed as in Muslim countries ?

Which would only prove that how you dress has no correlation on whether you get raped ?

Rape is rape.. Period..