Relationships and Money

[redliner]

I have friends that are the exact same, only he gets $40. He doesn't even know how much his pay is.

I couldn't do it, personally.

I could not tell you how much I make on a paycheck. Never cared to find out. Bills are payed kids have a full stomach and I get a box a beer . When we want something expensive we talk about it and save for it.

 

[Kat]

I know what you're saying, I think that would definitely cause friction and I totally disagree with something like that happening.

I just don't want 100% of my money pooled, I want my own, I think I just feel more secure that way.

For me its not a matter of wanting my "own" money. Cause I dont feel like its mine or his and neither does he. If I want to buy something small I do so without a problem if its big....I ask/ let him know. He has always told me to buy what I need though. We check the account (his account) and he buys it for me or has me take a check or whatever for it (though I can go to the bank any day and withdraw from his account because they know us so well). He just goes out and buys whatever, whenever he needs. lol sometimes he overspends but I let him know when bills are tight. We are getting better about working out a system with it. But when it comes down to it....even though for the time being we do have seperate accounts...Id still use my account in a heartbeat if we need something jointly or even if Im getting something just he needs. Theres no difference to me. I dont feel confined by it either. Nor does he feel as though I take advantage.

2 seperate accounts dont/shouldnt make it "my" money "his" money. At the end of the day if youre commited to everything...then it really is "our" money no matter the logistics. I guess it depends on the couple though

 

[Kat]

I could not tell you how much I make on a paycheck. Never cared to find out. Bills are payed kids have a full stomach and I get a box a beer . When we want something expensive we talk about it and save for it.

this exactally. Thats how it should be hell I dont even think my guy knows how much he makes either lol

 

[Aeval]

I'm so not using my words today, lol.

From past experience I feel safer if I have money that only I can acceses. I don't hold anything back and think of anything in our relationship as "mine".

I give him the money for household expenses and trust he pays what needs to be paid accordingly, I have never asked what he does with it, but we still have a roof over our head so I'm assuming he does the right thing.

I have no idea what his account balance is, nor does he know mine.

I guess it's a matter of what the couple decides as a couple that matters, both players should be on the same team when it comes to finances....I'm learning there's no right or wrong answer.

 

[dancingpotato]

I would have my wages paid into my own account, his into his account and a joint account for household bills/petrol/food etc. Whoever makes more can transfer more into a savings account and give to the other one if they need money to buy something. Anything expensive should be discussed between us and decide how we will pay for it. Whats mine is his and whats his is mine. That's how I think it should be in a marriage.

 

[Niamh]

I've always thought having a joint account is the way to go. I think with separate accounts if one partner makes significantly more than they other it could lead to resentment if they get to purchase lots of things for themselves and the partner who doesn't make as much can't. It just shows you really don't want to trust or work with your partner to discuss your finances and how to spend money. It shows you just want to spend on what you choose and not take your partner into consideration. If you want autonomy and just want to think about yourself... well then don't get married.

I find that a bit insulting actually. Every couple is entitled to work out what suits them best. I don't think it's fair to say your way is right and everyone else shouldn't be married.

 

[BleedingBull]

Im not married ( thank god) but have been burnt before with finances, I had no say with my own money and he was just endulging himself the cunt, but in the future I will now have separate accounts but one for bills and finances that are shared depending on who earns more, I have trust issues and wont be controlled again lol.

 

[Aeval]

I find that a bit insulting actually. Every couple is entitled to work out what suits them best. I don't think it's fair to say your way is right and everyone else shouldn't be married.

I think everyone has to work out what's best for them. I wanted a 'right and wrong' answer when I posted this, but now that I think more on it, there isn't one. I appreciate everyone's suggestions but money is a touchy subject and everyone views what 'should' be done differently.

I personally don't agree with only one account being shared by both people. I think each individual should have their own. I believe a separate account should be set up where both contribute for shared expenses but that can't be touched for anything outside of regular monthly bills or an agreed upon purchase.

 

[Niamh]

I think everyone has to work out what's best for them. I wanted a 'right and wrong' answer when I posted this, but now that I think more on it, there isn't one. I appreciate everyone's suggestions but money is a touchy subject and everyone views what 'should' be done differently.

I personally don't agree with only one account being shared by both people. I think each individual should have their own. I believe a separate account should be set up where both contribute for shared expenses but that can't be touched for anything outside of regular monthly bills or an agreed upon purchase.

Yeah, exactly right, what ever works for you both is right for you both.

 

[satinbutterfly]

I find that a bit insulting actually. Every couple is entitled to work out what suits them best. I don't think it's fair to say your way is right and everyone else shouldn't be married.

I'm not saying my way is right. I'm just saying that's my opinion.

 

[Niamh]

I'm not saying my way is right. I'm just saying that's my opinion.

I'm sure your opinion is right for you and your husband, but I don't think it's a case of one size fits all, I think couples have to work out what suits them best and every couple is unique

 

[RedRyder]

We have a joint savings/checking account. I pay all of the bills, household expenses, allowances, etc., from the checking account.

Any big purchases being considered are always discussed prior to doing so.

We're in this together, so what's mine is his, what's his is mine. Ours.

 

[MainerMikeBrown]

It's important that a husband and wife work together when it comes to money for many reasons - one of them being that if one person handles all the finances and passes away, the surviving spouse could end up getting overwhelmed when dealing with paying bills and so on.

 

[Jezzebelle]

My husband can't do money... and I've been a bookkeeper since I was 16... so naturally, I just do everything. He doesn't mind at all, and feels grateful he's free of the stress of paying bills as long as he goes to work everyday. I am a bit of a control freak, and I enjoy handling everything. We tech. have 2 separate accounts (one in each of our names)... but we use them like 2 joint accounts. I have online access to both, and check them daily and pay bills through them. About every 3 months he'll get curious and ask me for the passwords and go look around, but he gets bored with it pretty quick. He trusts me, and just lets me know when he wants to buy something that's going to cost anymore than $50.... I'll check the accounts and let him know when (next week, right then, etc) and what to use. Works for us, and we haven't missed paying a bill since we were only dating (many moons ago, obviously before this system) and his lights got cut off cause he forgot about the bill

 

[JudoChop]

My Missus works part-time and has oodles of spare time on her hands, so she does the finances. This seems to work quite well and I agree with sharing our money into one pot. What I don't like is when she takes money or cards out of my wallet without telling me, I've been stuck at petrol stations in the past because of this and had to leave my driving license at one before they'd let me leave.

 

[af12]

Online banking. The best way to go. I don't have alot of free time but I can pay my bills and check my account anytime. Everything gets done and I can spend what free time I have with my lady.

 

[kanojoe]

Online banking. The best way to go. I don't have alot of free time but I can pay my bills and check my account anytime. Everything gets done and I can spend what free time I have with my lady.

Me too.

 

[pandandesign]

I would not talk about money unless I'm married to the person. I think money sometimes destroys the relationship because that's what most couples argue about. I haven't talked about money with my wife yet, but I would work things out between us. I want to make sure we won't worry about money, but at the same time, we won't use money as the main subject in our family.

 

[caparica007]

I am with my wife for about ten years and we never had money issues. We have separate bank accounts, but with know each others ATM card pin, we also share the credit card with no worries, luckily money is not a concern to us, probably because we almost don't have any!

 

[Lizbeth19ph]

I think when it comes to handling finances in a relationship, couples should set their own rules or they should be able to iron out things early on so they wouldn't have a hard time agreeing about money matters. If you are just in a gf/bf stage, I think it's better to have separate accounts and when you do get married, things will change.