Relationships and Money

[Francis]

When we were together, my ex and I, she had her account and I had mine..

I convinced her to have a joint account to have her pay some of the bills coming in as we had originally agreed on her paying 1/3 to 1/2 of the bills as she was in university when she first moved in.. She had never paid a penny to me in rent, hydro or phone but did buy food.. To say I ended up on the short end of the deal was what we could say bang on but I am sure she has a different view..

In any case, should it ever happen again, I will certainly do this joint account for bill payments much sooner. When the bills are due the money will be put in by both parties and should a big purchase come up that both agree then the payments will come out of that account for which both signatures will be responsible for..

Yes money is a big issue in relationships but try going your own ways and splitting those joint accounts up after.. What a mess if you don't already have your own..

 

[Aeval]

do this joint account for bill payments much sooner. When the bills are due the money will be put in by both parties and should a big purchase come up that both agree then the payments will come out of that account for which both signatures will be responsible for..

That's how I think things should be set up.

I have NO problem paying my share, or more so, I'm not greedy, but I will not be bent over either...I work hard for my money and no one is going to spend it without my say-so.

 

[darkcgi]

That's how I think things should be set up.

I have NO problem paying my share, or more so, I'm not greedy, but I will not be bent over either...I work hard for my money and no one is going to spend it without my say-so.

this and have all your bills auto pay from your account
and never allow out side accounts
a place to store hidden money
like an account by only one party thats for their childs college
has to be joint

 

[Aeval]

this and have all your bills auto pay from your account
and never allow out side accounts
a place to store hidden money
like an account by only one party thats for their childs college
has to be joint

I want outside accounts...I want one joint for the household expenses, and a separate for things we want as an individual. The bulk would be in the joint, but not all.

 

[darkcgi]

I just think if you want to be sure about the money to do it that way
but if you absolutely know you can trust then your right

 

[Francis]

this and have all your bills auto pay from your account
and never allow out side accounts
a place to store hidden money
like an account by only one party thats for their childs college
has to be joint

I disagree with AutoPay.. If one does not put enough for all payments and you are not aware the funds will bounce.. Best to know what is in and adjust accordingly..

 

[jassilem]

So you do have your own account that Jim has no part of?

Yes that is correct.

This is for personal reasons... *nod*

 

[Aeval]

Yes that is correct.

This is for personal reasons... *nod*

As it should be...I couldn't imagine having to run everything by someone else. No way...no how.

 

[jassilem]

As it should be...I couldn't imagine having to run everything by someone else. No way...no how.

With our joint account I never have to explain my purchases or anything. I am the one that handles the bill payments and all that jazz.

I just have my account for money he doesn't need to know about.. Like when my step dad gives me cash for helping out.. or to purchase something for my mom etc. The account is also where I try to save money to go on vacations or buy large gifts from. If Jim knew the balance of that account at times he would want to use the money for things I don't approve of...

 

[Weebs]

The first few years of marraige, the wife handled the bills. The problem there was my spending. Not knowing the day to day bills.. I was buying all the latest shiny things, and the wife was getting pissed. She handed me the checkbook and said "you handle it" I guess I was forced to sober up financially.

That was 25 years ago, and has been that way ever since. Now we have a joint checking account that my paycheck goes into. She hands me a predetermined amount each week toward the bills, and whatever is left is hers. She also funds all the groceries and most household supplies. We both have separate savings accounts. Works for us.

 

[HK]

Every relationship I've been in that involved sharing bills in some way, I've always done it the same way - one joint account that we'd each pay into a set amount every month to cover the bills, and then a separate account each which is where our paychecks would actually go, so any money leftover was ours to do with as we pleased.


That works best for me. My parents do it differently - all their money goes into one account and my mum gives my dad an amount every week for him to spend. He can't budget for shit whereas she's superhot on that kind of thing, so it works for them.

 

[Aeval]

I want the joint for the household expenses and have a separate one for our own....he doesn't get it, it's all "our" money. He's 45 years old and hasn't been in a relationship in 20 years....he has never really been burned by such things. He doesn't understand it's a comfort thing for me.

 

[MjaneGibson]

Money is always a difficult thing to talk about, especially when you haven't tied the knot yet. My boyfriend and I have a method that seems to work pretty well: Any bills that we pay together (rent, cable, groceries), gets put into this box we have. We have both set up a budget and make sure that on payday, that money goes into the box immediately. That way, regardless of what other spending cash we have, our bills are paid. I will admit, what is difficult is what happens with the remaining money. I found out recently that my boyfriend had spent 600 bucks in one month on comic books, yet didn't buy me a valentine's day gift. That to me is when the money situation hurts. Needless to say, money matters really need to be discussed and a plan set in place. Good luck! keep me posted about what happens.

 

[HK]

I found out recently that my boyfriend had spent 600 bucks in one month on comic books, yet didn't buy me a valentine's day gift. That to me is when the money situation hurts.

Ouch. That's a bit horrible. I didn't get so much as a card this year either, but we're genuinely broke... $600 on comic books! Jesus. What a knob.

 

[Aeval]

Money is always a difficult thing to talk about, especially when you haven't tied the knot yet. My boyfriend and I have a method that seems to work pretty well: Any bills that we pay together (rent, cable, groceries), gets put into this box we have. We have both set up a budget and make sure that on payday, that money goes into the box immediately. That way, regardless of what other spending cash we have, our bills are paid. I will admit, what is difficult is what happens with the remaining money. I found out recently that my boyfriend had spent 600 bucks in one month on comic books, yet didn't buy me a valentine's day gift. That to me is when the money situation hurts. Needless to say, money matters really need to be discussed and a plan set in place. Good luck! keep me posted about what happens.

Did you say anything to him about the comic books? That's ridiculous. He should be ashamed of himself, but it's things like that that worry me. ...I would lose it all together if someone was that careless with MY money, I work hard to add my share, who the hell do "you" think you are to frivilously spend it?

Ouch. That's a bit horrible. I didn't get so much as a card this year either, but we're genuinely broke... $600 on comic books! Jesus. What a knob.

He is a knob. I didn't get a card this year either...I didn't get anything...not even a 'thank you' when I took him out to a dinner theater. I was pissed and he knows it.

 

[Merciless]

Hubby is the only one working right now, we have a joint account and I do have cash coming in every now and again. It's a stressor for me as I wish I could be contributing more.

I can understand what you are feeling there. I am in a similar situation but we know that things will eventually get better. I just take it one day at a time.

 

[Aeval]

I can understand what you are feeling there. I am in a similar situation but we know that things will eventually get better. I just take it one day at a time.

I was in the same boat...now I make more money than him. All in good time.

 

[MjaneGibson]

Did you say anything to him about the comic books? That's ridiculous. He should be ashamed of himself, but it's things like that that worry me. ...I would lose it all together if someone was that careless with MY money, I work hard to add my share, who the hell do "you" think you are to frivilously spend it?

He is a knob. I didn't get a card this year either...I didn't get anything...not even a 'thank you' when I took him out to a dinner theater. I was pissed and he knows it.

I didn't say anything because he doesn't know I know. We have spoken in length regarding how much money he spends on comic books, but he always assured me it was only $200 a month (which is ridiculous anyway). He left his ebay account open one day and I realized that in the month of January he spend 450 bucks on comics (this doesn't include the 200 bucks he spends at the actual store). His whole thing is that it's his money and as long as the bills are paid, then who cares? My opinion is that if I have to watch my pennies (I make more than him but have more bills), just so that we can make sure my car has gas and we have food, then why should he be allowed to spend alllllll of that money!?

He should have said thank you to you! I took my boy out for dinner and a movie too, and he didn't even want to go...but he did say thank you! Men suck!

Ouch. That's a bit horrible. I didn't get so much as a card this year either, but we're genuinely broke... $600 on comic books! Jesus. What a knob.

The issue with this is that he always complains that he wishes he made more money...he has at least 900 bucks to spare to pay for anything! the fact that he spends it all on comics is ridiculous. If either of you know how I could possibly stop this spending, then lmk!

 

[Aeval]

I didn't say anything because he doesn't know I know. We have spoken in length regarding how much money he spends on comic books, but he always assured me it was only $200 a month (which is ridiculous anyway). He left his ebay account open one day and I realized that in the month of January he spend 450 bucks on comics (this doesn't include the 200 bucks he spends at the actual store). His whole thing is that it's his money and as long as the bills are paid, then who cares? My opinion is that if I have to watch my pennies (I make more than him but have more bills), just so that we can make sure my car has gas and we have food, then why should he be allowed to spend alllllll of that money!?

He should have said thank you to you! I took my boy out for dinner and a movie too, and he didn't even want to go...but he did say thank you! Men suck!



The issue with this is that he always complains that he wishes he made more money...he has at least 900 bucks to spare to pay for anything! the fact that he spends it all on comics is ridiculous. If either of you know how I could possibly stop this spending, then lmk!

How may flippin' comic books does he have??? Are they worth anything? That's madness.

Sometimes putting it down on paper helps....put down all the regular monthly bills so he can see them, then make a "wish list", maybe seeing a goal is something that would make him think and realize how much he actually pisses away. I have no idea, but it's helped me in the past.

 

[HK]

Have you thought about just saying to him, why didn't he get you at least a card for valentines? And then that'd hopefully lead neatly into a conversation about how hurtful it is that he spends so much money on other things, but can't even buy you a bunch of flowers or something.