Two Englishmen walking through the woods with a large Salmon under each arm when they met two Irishmen, Michael and Donal.
"Hey there's some wonderful salmon, where did you get them?"
"Don't tell anyone," replied the Englishmen, "but we poached them out of the river."
"How did you do that?" asked Donal
"Well, Fred here dangles over the bridge, I hang on to his legs and when the salmon leap out of the water on their way upstream, he just catches them."
"We'll try that Michael me boy," says Donal.
They get to the bridge and Donal hangs Michael over the edge of the bridge by his legs, after about twenty minutes Michael screams...
"Quick pull me up, pull me up!"
"Have you got a salmon?" asks Donal.
"No," replies Michael "but there's a train coming."
_________________________________________
A professor at the University of Alabama was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies.
To get a feel for his audience, he asks, 'How many people here believe in ghosts?'
About 90 students raise their hands.
Well, that's a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?'
About 40 students raise their hands.
That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?'
About 15 students raise their hand.
Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?'
Three students raise their hands.
That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further...Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?'
Way in the back, Ahmed raises his hand.
The professor takes off his glasses and says 'Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience.'
The Middle Eastern student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium.
When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, 'So, Ahmed, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?'
Ahmed replied, "Ghosts??????......................................from way back there I thought you said Goats."
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"Hey there's some wonderful salmon, where did you get them?"
"Don't tell anyone," replied the Englishmen, "but we poached them out of the river."
"How did you do that?" asked Donal
"Well, Fred here dangles over the bridge, I hang on to his legs and when the salmon leap out of the water on their way upstream, he just catches them."
"We'll try that Michael me boy," says Donal.
They get to the bridge and Donal hangs Michael over the edge of the bridge by his legs, after about twenty minutes Michael screams...
"Quick pull me up, pull me up!"
"Have you got a salmon?" asks Donal.
"No," replies Michael "but there's a train coming."
_________________________________________
A professor at the University of Alabama was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies.
To get a feel for his audience, he asks, 'How many people here believe in ghosts?'
About 90 students raise their hands.
Well, that's a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?'
About 40 students raise their hands.
That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?'
About 15 students raise their hand.
Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?'
Three students raise their hands.
That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further...Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?'
Way in the back, Ahmed raises his hand.
The professor takes off his glasses and says 'Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience.'
The Middle Eastern student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium.
When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, 'So, Ahmed, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?'
Ahmed replied, "Ghosts??????......................................from way back there I thought you said Goats."
:24::24::24:
