Does monogamy really exist anymore?

[Peter Parka]

No AEF. It is not natural to want to rip someone's head off or stab them to death when they make you angry.

Yes, it is natural to get angry when someone makes you angry but not to want to rip their head off or stab them to death.

Guess I'm unnatural then! Oh well *shrugs*

 

[Kat]

Best example: My friend Alan broke up with a girl that he'd been dating almost 2 years, because a guy kissed her. She pulled back, but he already had kissed her. Sure, ok, that's pretty stupid, but moving on. He get's a new girlfriend, and has been dating her for 2 weeks. What happens? After him being so up in arms about a girlfriend getting kissed by another man, a girlfriend that he's had for 2 years, he CHEATS ON HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND, and dumps her to be with a friend of ours. Hypocritical, right?

But that brings up a question. Does monogamy, in today's standards and society, really exist anymore? It seems like people are leaving each other left and right these days.

Id like to think it does exist somewhere out there...hard to tell these days though....when i find it i'll let you know ... ok had to add...yes it does exist but it has to be both people obviously wanting it....love not lust goes a long way to it....love not responsibility too

 

[icecuban]

My point remains, it's natural to get jealous at times.----->IF<---you love your b/friend, g/friend, husband or wife. You notice the stress I put on "IF". This is because if you don't really love your partner then it is much easier NOT to get jealous, because then it is insignificant to you.

"...does this even have to happen, at all?"

Jealousy is a feeling of emotion. Yes? We all have these feelings. It's quite natural (That is unless you are mentally incapable of it). It's a fact of life and to think it would not happen at some point or points in your life is just fooling yourself. Furthermore to wait until you find someone devoid of the emotion, I put it to you that you would be waiting until you are a very old man OR find someone whom you think does not have the emotion only to realize afterwards that they do.

However, while I say that it is a natural emotion I reiterate that to be obsessive so IS unhealthy and an indication that something is either wrong with the consumed person if the jealousy is unwarranted or something is wrong with the relationship itself that the other person gives just cause to warrant the jealousy by behavior.

On another note, some people are so insecure about themselves that jealousy becomes an obsession regardless if there is cause to so be. This is a hopeless situation for any relationship unless treated and resolved.

For a relationship to be healthy, notwithstanding the "normal" emotions or feelings that come into play there needs to be uppermost in one's mind a feeling of emotional security inclusive of love and TRUST.<-----Without which is a recipe for failure.

i just dont understand, how in love, one would be led to be jealous, of what?? I find that if one can be made jealous, even in the least, then theres a reason behind it, that shouldnt be there in the first place. I think that for myself, i see love as being a chance to show how much you can love someone, through and through, every moment. I guess i remember a few phases in my life, when in relationships it didnt matter, we both looked, didnt matter, we were both hot shit, whatever. Then as i got older, i started to care, and looked into how many times in the day this situation would come up, and let me tell you, it comes up a lot, more then most things i see happen day to day, much more then talks of peace, lol. So then I started treating things like i felt i should, and treated the loved one with utmost devotion, and though they said they would!! (as you suggested it might), yet still, too much for them to handle, even though they (may have) tried. Which showed me that though they wanted it, and the way i would explain it, was like a fairy tale, but their minds where not ready, or they were not the type of mentally tough person i was looking for. It goes from mind to body, we stop the body, but we dont stop the mind, barf, i think, if you think it, do it, if you cant do that, then dont think it, or is that too tough?

I felt that by stumbling into this idea, i could quite possibly be alone, for a long long time, who knows, but the idea gives me more love then almost any woman out there (and since sex isnt hard to come by, i dont feel like i'll just fall into a relationship because the girl is nice and attractive).

Not until recently did i think that it would be a long life with the love inside, without an out, but now I found the impossible, such a girl is actually in existance!, and oddly enough, she existed on this forum, lol. And, low and behold, she seems to be a spitting image of my own soul (didnt think i needed someone who shares all the same important ideals, but thank god) , and now im glad i did what i did, or i wouldnt feel like i found a needle in an earth sized hay stack.

Never will I have to wonder about trust with such a person, neither will the amount of love involved ever be in question. Till the end of time I will know this person is right for me. Trust was cemented when i knew what kind of person they were, or else they never would have become such a person with such ideals.

I guess what works for others, isnt the same for all, what seems crazy to some, is normal to others, lol. In this case, we see each other as crazy, lol. wouldnt want it any other way

 

[COOL_BREEZE2]

Guess I'm unnatural then! Oh well *shrugs*

Well, let's just say you're easily excitable Pete . Hey, you know you're my homey and I love ya man (in a non-gay way)

 

[icecuban]

aww, thats cute (in a homo-erotic way), lol, jk (in a super manly man man way)

 

[COOL_BREEZE2]

i just dont understand, how in love, one would be led to be jealous, of what??..............Then as i got older, i started to care, ..........was like a fairy tale, but their minds where not ready............
I felt that by stumbling into this idea, i could quite possibly be alone, for a long long time.............

Not until recently did i think that it would be a long life with the love inside, without an out, but now I found the impossible, such a girl is actually in existance!, and oddly enough, she existed on this forum, lol. And, low and behold, she seems to be a spitting image of my own soul (didnt think i needed someone who shares all the same important ideals, but thank god) , and now im glad i did what i did, or i wouldnt feel like i found a needle in an earth sized hay stack.

Never will I have to wonder about trust with such a person, neither will the amount of love involved ever be in question. Till the end of time I will know this person is right for me. Trust was cemented when i knew what kind of person they were, or else they never would have become such a person with such ideals.

I guess what works for others, isnt the same for all, what seems crazy to some, is normal to others, lol. In this case, we see each other as crazy, lol. wouldnt want it any other way

It's a question of maturity, mentally and otherwise........and BALANCE<----. And yes, it comes with caring. Careful tho with obsessing. Perhaps the reason you had found yourself in a rut before was because you were obsessing one way or the other. Remember BALANCE.

I am happy for you that you have found someone that "fits" you and completes you. It is truly a remarkable feeling like no other and could be found in the most unexpected places but when it happens you feel on cloud nine doesn't it?...The feeling of true love.

Still, you need to be realistic and know that several emotions will come into play. How you (both) deal with it will make the difference between healthy and unhealthy and a lot will depend on maturity, security, respect and trust. In a nutshell, the way you treat each other.