Hello again everybody! The doctor is in. Are you in a rough spot? Need advice? Counsel? An air tight alibi for that one night you went out and you swore it looked exactly like a woman and you thought "maybe she is just one of those women with a really deep voice"? Then Dr. D is here to help. Any question, any problem. Fire away!
Ask The Good Doctor!
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satinbutterfly
Miss Piggy
Welcome back sweetie. 
all by yourself? cripes, I had two and had a headache...
Well howdy ho to you all! I'd like to thank you all for being so kind in welcoming me back or maybe for just the first time.
And lo, and behold! We have some things to discuss right off the bat!
darkangel, funny that you should mention hands being places. That's the very thing that got me removed from my last practice. I just couldn't help myself. I am a simple man, with healthy desires. It's not my fault that...*reads her post again* OH! You said "DECK" HAHA! My mistake...Funny how one letter can just change everything. MOVING ON.
Hello there hart. Head hurting you is it? And you wonder if perhaps the alcohol you consumed in great quantities has something to do with it... Valid question. I can speak only from personal experience, and I find that drinking heavily often helps to PREVENT my headaches. Yes, it seems to make everything in life more tolerable. Marriages, child rearing, court appearances...All of it. The key to never having a headache from drinking is simple: NEVER STOP. No matter what anybody tells you. Who are they to question your path to success? Just because they can function in life without a BAC of 12.5%, they think that somehow makes them better than you. Assholes. Some of the greatest things in life have come about due to heavy alcohol consumption. Take any of Aerosmith's early music. You don't produce genius like that from sobriety.
NEXT!
And lo, and behold! We have some things to discuss right off the bat!
darkangel, funny that you should mention hands being places. That's the very thing that got me removed from my last practice. I just couldn't help myself. I am a simple man, with healthy desires. It's not my fault that...*reads her post again* OH! You said "DECK" HAHA! My mistake...Funny how one letter can just change everything. MOVING ON.
Hello there hart. Head hurting you is it? And you wonder if perhaps the alcohol you consumed in great quantities has something to do with it... Valid question. I can speak only from personal experience, and I find that drinking heavily often helps to PREVENT my headaches. Yes, it seems to make everything in life more tolerable. Marriages, child rearing, court appearances...All of it. The key to never having a headache from drinking is simple: NEVER STOP. No matter what anybody tells you. Who are they to question your path to success? Just because they can function in life without a BAC of 12.5%, they think that somehow makes them better than you. Assholes. Some of the greatest things in life have come about due to heavy alcohol consumption. Take any of Aerosmith's early music. You don't produce genius like that from sobriety.
NEXT!
And look! Another question!
This one comes from darkangel! She asks:
"Hey Doctor? I know someone who can't stop sneezing. Any advice?"
Yes, as a matter of fact I do have some advice. But before we go down the Advice Highway and make a left onto the exit of Wisdom and then merge on Discernment Lane, I'd like to address an issue that has been on my mind lately: The holidays.
As many of you are aware, we just celebrated the holiday dedicated to the Judeo-Christian figure named Manuel. Whoops! Wrong Mexican! Ahem, JESUS. You see, during the holidays, and the rush that comes with it we sometimes lose sight of the true meaning behind it all. What's the true meaning, you ask? It's this: that if you nail some dude to a cross after he does a bunch of good things, Mel Gibson will say nasty things about your national heritage when he gets pulled over.
But back to our main discussion here. Chronic sneezing is cured best by duct tape. Or pillows on the face. By coincidence, that's also how I recommend you settle all divorce proceedings.
NEXT!
This one comes from darkangel! She asks:
"Hey Doctor? I know someone who can't stop sneezing. Any advice?"
Yes, as a matter of fact I do have some advice. But before we go down the Advice Highway and make a left onto the exit of Wisdom and then merge on Discernment Lane, I'd like to address an issue that has been on my mind lately: The holidays.
As many of you are aware, we just celebrated the holiday dedicated to the Judeo-Christian figure named Manuel. Whoops! Wrong Mexican! Ahem, JESUS. You see, during the holidays, and the rush that comes with it we sometimes lose sight of the true meaning behind it all. What's the true meaning, you ask? It's this: that if you nail some dude to a cross after he does a bunch of good things, Mel Gibson will say nasty things about your national heritage when he gets pulled over.
But back to our main discussion here. Chronic sneezing is cured best by duct tape. Or pillows on the face. By coincidence, that's also how I recommend you settle all divorce proceedings.
NEXT!
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purpledove
Seizing Life ♥
Hello and :welcomesign: back(?) [seemingly, they all know you eh? ]
There's someone who has posted knee pains and she may need you help at another thread
] There's someone who has posted knee pains and she may need you help at another thread
*was leaving the room but noticed more questions*
Let's take a gander at the next set of issues, shall we? Let's shall!
Our next problem comes from AnnaBabyx who says:
"I have nothing wrong,with me,but welcome back"
Why thank you very much!
However I would like to offer the following advice to you: Never assume that there is nothing wrong with you.
We all deal with self-evaluations and the struggle to be sure that our views of ourselves is in tune with the perceptions that others have of us. Sometimes it requires that we ask ourselves certain questions. Questions such as: Where am I going in life? What am I truly looking for? Where are my pants?
Yes, by doing this you will learn many things about yourself. I am constantly exploring myself. However, due to recent court decisions I cannot do this within 500 yards of the local sorority.
Our next issue comes from PurpleDove who writes:
"There's someone who has posted knee pains and she may need you help at another thread"
Knee pains, you say? Well now, that can be a bother. I always recommend a heating pad and perhaps ibuprofen. Of course if it becomes a chronic problem, perhaps amputation is the answer. That's why I only engage in adult activities with amputees. They're already at the right height.
NEXT!
Let's take a gander at the next set of issues, shall we? Let's shall!
Our next problem comes from AnnaBabyx who says:
"I have nothing wrong,with me,but welcome back"
Why thank you very much!
However I would like to offer the following advice to you: Never assume that there is nothing wrong with you.
We all deal with self-evaluations and the struggle to be sure that our views of ourselves is in tune with the perceptions that others have of us. Sometimes it requires that we ask ourselves certain questions. Questions such as: Where am I going in life? What am I truly looking for? Where are my pants?
Yes, by doing this you will learn many things about yourself. I am constantly exploring myself. However, due to recent court decisions I cannot do this within 500 yards of the local sorority.
Our next issue comes from PurpleDove who writes:
"There's someone who has posted knee pains and she may need you help at another thread"
Knee pains, you say? Well now, that can be a bother. I always recommend a heating pad and perhaps ibuprofen. Of course if it becomes a chronic problem, perhaps amputation is the answer. That's why I only engage in adult activities with amputees. They're already at the right height.
NEXT!
FreightTrain
Active Member
Wow, this doc IS pretty good. Welcome back. I got one: It hurts my brain everytime I read a text or message from someone whom has worse grammar than a 3-year-old or if I listen to country music. Any advice?
*runs in the room and shuts the door on the mob behind him*
Hello again everybody!
Our next question comes from FreightTrain! He wishes to know:
"It hurts my brain everytime I read a text or message from someone whom has worse grammar than a 3-year-old or if I listen to country music. Any advice?"
Valid question, Freight!
In today's society, with the advent of text messaging and the internet, communication has come to the forefront of our lives in ways that we could not imagine 20 years ago. The changes it has had on our lives cannot be measured in quantifiable terms. We live in a world that is connected 24 hours a day, 19 days a week.
As a result, there has been a growing trend of people realizing that everybody around them is a damn idiot whose vocabulary consists purely of three and four letter abbreviations. Which is a coincidence, because I usually say three and four letter words when trying to figure out what the hell they are saying half the time.
My advice for handling these ppl iz 2 tel thm 2 stp it asap an lern hw 2 spk teh english. Itll prolly werk.
Hello again everybody!
Our next question comes from FreightTrain! He wishes to know:
"It hurts my brain everytime I read a text or message from someone whom has worse grammar than a 3-year-old or if I listen to country music. Any advice?"
Valid question, Freight!
In today's society, with the advent of text messaging and the internet, communication has come to the forefront of our lives in ways that we could not imagine 20 years ago. The changes it has had on our lives cannot be measured in quantifiable terms. We live in a world that is connected 24 hours a day, 19 days a week.
As a result, there has been a growing trend of people realizing that everybody around them is a damn idiot whose vocabulary consists purely of three and four letter abbreviations. Which is a coincidence, because I usually say three and four letter words when trying to figure out what the hell they are saying half the time.
My advice for handling these ppl iz 2 tel thm 2 stp it asap an lern hw 2 spk teh english. Itll prolly werk.
purpledove
Seizing Life ♥
That's funny the way you put it re: amputees :24: :24: :24: Very good point i say.
However, in re: giving an advise to someone who really needs medical help on knee pain and is lost, i don't think she would wanna hear anything about amputation eh?
I'd be freaked out if i were in her place 
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