Surrogacy Journey

[Dana]

Adoption isn't for everyone. Just because pregnancy can't happen on its own doesn't mean they are less deserving of their own child.

My rebuttal would be why? I think people are too self righteous. They want things, one way and one way only...

 

[usandthem]

My rebuttal would be why? I think people are too self righteous. They want things, one way and one way only...

For one, not everyone even meets the requirements for adoption. Parenting itself is challenging but adopting a child adds a whole new level of challenges on top that not everyone is capable of handling. Also as mentioned before, it can be very expensive and very lengthy and heartbreaking process.

 

[Dana]

For one, not everyone even meets the requirements for adoption. Parenting itself is challenging but adopting a child adds a whole new level of challenges on top that not everyone is capable of handling. Also as mentioned before, it can be very expensive and very lengthy and heartbreaking process.

THIS I can agree with. A lot of people don't meet the requirement to be maternal parents. But that's a different topic.

 

[Jezzebelle]

t please stop hijacking Jezz's thread. That's not why it's here.

It's ok, I don't mind. It's part of the deal, and dealing with this kinda of convos online makes me better prepared for dealing with them when they happen in real life as well.

 

[Jezzebelle]

You're correct, adoption isn't for everyone, BUT IMO it is a shame that people for some reason feel a need that they must propagate in their lives so they feel like they have accomplished something.

Hm, I think that's an extremely judgmental call to make. You have no idea why people decide to become parents. I certainly didn't have children to feel like I accomplished something and I don't live through my kids. I'm perfectly happy as an individual.

I think the point that "usandthem" (sorry! I don't know your real name) and I are trying to make is... why does the burden only fall to infertile couples? If it's selfish for them to use options like IVF and surrogacy, instead of adoption... then it should be considered selfish for EVERY couple to make/have their own children until all the unwanted children are adopted into loving homes.

 

[Tim]

Would you still do this if you weren't compensated?

 

[Jezzebelle]

Would you still do this if you weren't compensated?

I would do it for my sister without compensation.

 

[porterjack]

Would you carry for another woman who could carry herself but chooses not too, with or without compensation

 

[Jezzebelle]

Would you carry for another woman who could carry herself but chooses not too, with or without compensation

I doubt it. We meet and get to choose each other so to speak. The two couples I have choose (one over a year ago, and it ended up not working out with their Dr) and this one now (with the failed try last year, and the upcoming try) I have felt really connected to. I'm not sure I would feel that same connection to someone who could carry, but doesn't want to.... Maybe if it was because of their job (an athlete or something?) and not just because they didn't want to "ruin" their body? I can't say for sure as every situation is unique, but I highly doubt it.

 

[porterjack]

I doubt it. We meet and get to choose each other so to speak. The two couples I have choose (one over a year ago, and it ended up not working out with their Dr) and this one now (with the failed try last year, and the upcoming try) I have felt really connected to. I'm not sure I would feel that same connection to someone who could carry, but doesn't want to.... Maybe if it was because of their job (an athlete or something?) and not just because they didn't want to "ruin" their body? I can't say for sure as every situation is unique, but I highly doubt it.

Thanks - tough one for sure
I applaud you for doing this
I think your head is in the right place

 

[Jezzebelle]

If people need to spend time, money and medicine to have their own children, yes, somethings a little off

.

Why is it off? People spend time, money, and medicine on prolonging their own life. Should we just let anyone who gets cancer die so it's less mouths to feed since people are starving? Is it selfish for people to go through chemo and spend thousands of dollars to extend their own life while people are dying from starvation in other countries?

 

[Joe the meek]

Having said that, if you guys want to debate that, fine, but please stop hijacking Jezz's thread. That's not why it's here.

[video=youtube;p3MiD_U4CHQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3MiD_U4CHQ[/video]

 

[usandthem]

Do you think it will still be difficult to give the baby to the parents?
Do you donate breastmilk to the parents?
Are you entitled to time off work for your body to heal mentally and physically after giving birth?

 

[Jezzebelle]

Do you think it will still be difficult to give the baby to the parents?
Do you donate breastmilk to the parents?
Are you entitled to time off work for your body to heal mentally and physically after giving birth?

I think I will be fine to give the baby to it's parents (I answered this in more detail on the first page, and am too lazy to type it all out again LOL).

I am not going to donate breastmilk. I have a hard time producing milk and was only able to pump and bottle feed my own daughter for a few weeks.

Yes, I am entitled for whatever I need. Time off, therapy, Dr. visits, etc. afterwards.

 

[Zorak]

Many congratulations Jezz on your decision, very admirable.

Joe: jesus man, get over your self. If you're desperate to set the world to rights, I'm sure there are better places to start.

 

[Dana]

While, I'm not really sure of my stance on this, good luck to you Jezz.

 

[Natasha]

I don't think Jezz was looking for you guys' approval, IJS

 

[Jezzebelle]

I don't think Jezz was looking for you guys' approval, IJS

I don't think I look for approval for much in life :24:


But seriously... thank you guys for all the kind words and support <3

 

[Dana]

I don't think Jezz was looking for you guys' approval, IJS

I never said she was and I could care less what she does honestly...

 

[Jezzebelle]

I could care less what she does honestly...

mutual