Relationships and Money

[Aeval]

So the man and I had a "discussion" the other day about money and how we view our relationship and our money.

I'm curious...how do you handle the finances in your relationship? Do you have separate bank accounts? How do you pay regular monthly bills? What about retirement/pension funds?

He and I have completely different ideas on how things should be done and it's stressful, to say the least.

 

[Staci]

money seems to always be a stressor in any relationship.

hubby and i do not have seperate accounts for us. i do have one for my business that he is not on. both of our money goes into the same account for us to pay bills and etc. we look at the bills and see what needs to be paid and how much money we have LOL.

 

[teh_fuzz]

money seems to always be a stressor in any relationship.

hubby and i do not have seperate accounts for us. i do have one for my business that he is not on. both of our money goes into the same account for us to pay bills and etc. we look at the bills and see what needs to be paid and how much money we have LOL.

WOW FW that guy must be pretty awesome eh?

 

[jassilem]

With Jim and I. His pay check goes into our joint account.. all bills are paid out of it. What money I get for working for my Step Dad etc goes in to my account and is used for what every it's needed for.

So.. Jim earns the money and I spend it essentially .....

 

[All Else Failed]

Money is a massive element in any sort of relationship. In a romantic one, there probably should not be "my money" or "your money". Joint income is for the progression of the family.

 

[rback33]

Yup...just "our money" at my house

 

[CaptainTurtles]

Hubby is the only one working right now, we have a joint account and I do have cash coming in every now and again. It's a stressor for me as I wish I could be contributing more.

 

[MoonOwl]

We too have a joint account. Our paychecks go in and the bills go out.

PS & I have had easy times and we've had more budget-conscious times. In all times we've not had disagreements. It's cool to be on the same page :cool

 

[Mercury]

The wife is more fiscally sound than myself so she handles all the financial decisions ... which is awesome as I despise economics.

 

[Aeval]

money seems to always be a stressor in any relationship.

hubby and i do not have seperate accounts for us. i do have one for my business that he is not on. both of our money goes into the same account for us to pay bills and etc. we look at the bills and see what needs to be paid and how much money we have LOL.

WOW FW that guy must be pretty awesome eh?

Ha ha, you're both very lucky.

With Jim and I. His pay check goes into our joint account.. all bills are paid out of it. What money I get for working for my Step Dad etc goes in to my account and is used for what every it's needed for.

So.. Jim earns the money and I spend it essentially .....

So you do have your own account that Jim has no part of?

Money is a massive element in any sort of relationship. In a romantic one, there probably should not be "my money" or "your money". Joint income is for the progression of the family.

So it should be one joint account and either can take from it what they want to spend how they want? I don't think I could agree with that.

Yup...just "our money" at my house

You both work and contribute to the account and can take from it as you want?

Hubby is the only one working right now, we have a joint account and I do have cash coming in every now and again. It's a stressor for me as I wish I could be contributing more.

I HATE feeling like that...I'm sure he doesn't look at it that way, but I totally understand where you're coming from.

We too have a joint account. Our paychecks go in and the bills go out.

PS & I have had easy times and we've had more budget-conscious times. In all times we've not had disagreements. It's cool to be on the same page :cool

Very lucky.

The wife is more fiscally sound than myself so she handles all the financial decisions ... which is awesome as I despise economics.

I can see dicisions needing to be made, but what about the day to day spending? What if one was a bit more "loose" with spending than the other and there was only one account to take from?

I personally am uncomfortable depositing all my pay into the joint account knowing how he cannot stick to a budget and when someone in his family needs something, or think they do, they automatically come to him and he just hands over cash. I don't think I should have to contribute to this. I have NO problem depositing a portion, say 30% of my net pay into a "household" account that cannot be touched for anything other than household expenses, but that's about it, that's as far as I can bend when it comes to a joint account.

 

[pjbleek]

you do this, open a joint a count where an amount is committed to it each pay period and decide if you want to use it as a day to day fund or a pay bill fund (accounts you have joint use on) and if it is to be used as a day to day fund limit the usage of it...
its simple in theory to do it, but just be disciplined in the savings and truth in sharing on the spending it should work out....

 

[Aeval]

you do this, open a joint a count where an amount is committed to it each pay period and decide if you want to use it as a day to day fund or a pay bill fund (accounts you have joint use on) and if it is to be used as a day to day fund limit the usage of it...
its simple in theory to do it, but just be disciplined in the savings and truth in sharing on the spending it should work out....

I'd have no problem with a shared bill-paying fund, I think that's how it should be set up, ugh, I can see another fight, this shit sucks.

Thanks though, appreciate it.

 

[pjbleek]

and if you want to cut back even further get no debit card with the account...(people have tried in doing this)

 

[Aeval]

and if you want to cut back even further get no debit card with the account...(people have tried in doing this)

That would be a must. If it's for paying bills, it would be done online and NO outside access by either of us, unless in the event of an emergency where we both agree.

 

[All Else Failed]

Husband and Wife need to work as one economic unit. If there is any division in terms of who has what, there will be problems that will bubble up to the surface.

 

[Niamh]

Me and my husband have separate bank accounts, plus a joint account for the mortgage and bills. Both of us came out of bad relationships where our exes wasted money and so we both feel more comfortable being in control of our own finances.

 

[Niamh]

Husband and Wife need to work as one economic unit. If there is any division in terms of who has what, there will be problems that will bubble up to the surface.

I don't think you can say one thing works for all, every couple is different and individually have to work out what works best for them.

 

[Galvatron]

Me and my wife both earn it....she manages the daily/weekly bills....i do the on-line crap and all left overs are in one big pot....first in to it gets to spend it.:24::24::24:

No separate money/accounts BS we are in this shit together....we enjoy the good times as a team and if they do come we shall tackle the bad as a team also.

We even share the same hidden stash.

 

[All Else Failed]

I don't think you can say one thing works for all, every couple is different and individually have to work out what works best for them.

True, but as far as what I have seen with many couples, that model works the best. imo

 

[darkcgi]

I can say everytime there is plenty of money things got better
but once there was an overage of money for too long and things got boring
and lost who I was

I lost all that found myself
got the money back but live like I do not have it and everything is super happy most of the time