Big ol' boobies...

[Thornless]

Yeah, she's done a ton of research, she's going about all that the right way, it's just a foreign concept to me that's all... I don't believe in plastic surgery, and she just doesn't care at all about that. That's what I want fixed. I just want her to SEE my point of view, not conform to it...

I don't see anyway aside from her not getting it done that would make you feel like she saw it. an't think of another way to say that, if it sounds bitchy I'm not intending it to.

This sort of situation, there's no win-win. Here's how I see it:

She feels like it is needed to make her feel sexy, good about herself.

You don't believe in unneeded surgery used for 'improving' looks/confidence. You thinks she's fine the way she is, and that she should be happy with you find her attractive/sexy... By her wanting to do this, to you makes it feel like she doesn't care about your feelings/desire toward her. That your devotion isn't enough.

Is the hammer hitting the nail on the head?

 

[Chillaxicator]

Pretty close. I can understand her not just taking my opinion and being happy with it... I get that she's not happy with her looks, and hasn't been for a while, and she knows that I'll be happy with her looks no matter what, so changing her boobs doesn't change my perspective. The part she's not taking, that she's basically not validating for me, is that I am afraid she's going to suddenly feel so confident and sexy and full of herself that she will leave me for somebody else, because she will be getting so much extra attention. She isn't taking the time to quell my fears at all, because she finds them so absurd or whatever... but instead of soothing them, she's just mocking them and seeing them as me being controlling...

 

[Thornless]

Pretty close. I can understand her not just taking my opinion and being happy with it... I get that she's not happy with her looks, and hasn't been for a while, and she knows that I'll be happy with her looks no matter what, so changing her boobs doesn't change my perspective. The part she's not taking, that she's basically not validating for me, is that I am afraid she's going to suddenly feel so confident and sexy and full of herself that she will leave me for somebody else, because she will be getting so much extra attention. She isn't taking the time to quell my fears at all, because she finds them so absurd or whatever... but instead of soothing them, she's just mocking them and seeing them as me being controlling...

I'd find them absurd if Bryan didn't want me getting my tummy tuck for the same reasons.... I'd be offended. Like he thought the only reason I was sticking around was because I couldn't do better otherwise?

Having big boobs myself for mot my life, I don't have/haven't had guys hitting on me 24/7 or asking me to leave my life and start a new one with them.

I strongly suggest the bra insert implant things, for both your sakes.

 

[Dana]

yeah don't they make umm boob things to make your bust look better? I've seen it on tv...

 

[AstriaPorta]

you said she does not want to see what you think but really you do the same..

it is not the end of the world can always be removed later..
you don't believe in surgery but that the only way out she feel she got and sometimes if you have that feeling no matter what people say to you can not change...
better have the surgery and you have a happy lady next to you rather that have someone that think you don't care.. and be even more unhappy

 

[AnitaBeer]

Make her pay for them so you aren't out any money if it ends badly.

 

[FreightTrain]

I don't want to sound like an asshole, BUT it may not be his decision or his choice and he may not have a say but if i was with a woman and i didn't want her getting implants and she did it anyways, one of our asses would be hitting the side walk and it would most likely be hers. This SHOULD be a decision to make together her body or not if you're in a relationship.

I disagree with this "her body, her choice" BS in this scenario because this involves a relationship. If she was a single woman wanting to enhance her looks to attract attention, then fine. Why is a married woman looking to get implants when the man she married isn't a boob guy? Is she not getting enough attention or affection from you? Is she fishing for compliments from others? This is something that needs to be thoroughly discussed in a relationship. Any major purchase should be planned and discussed between spouses or significant others.

I've known married women who have gotten implants and tummy tucks only to quickly divorce their husbands and flaunt their new bodies. Cosmetic surgery can be a tremendous improvement for burn victims or crash victims or those who have needed reconstructive surgery because of cancer or disease. Celebrities go under the knife to keep job offers rolling in. The rest of the population gets it for attention or self-confidence. I'm sorry but if your self-confidence is found in any other organ other than your brain, then you don't need implants. You need therapy.

Would it be ok with your wife if you withdrew 10 grand and got some tattoos and a motorcycle? It's your money, your choice, right?? Strong relationships have disagreements, but if there's no compromise before a big decision is made, then I question the strength of the relationship. This is a matter for both husband and wife. I don't believe implants in this scenario will solve a thing and I agree that you should be uncomfortable with her feeling that she needs them.

 

[Dana]

I disagree with this "her body, her choice" BS in this scenario because this involves a relationship. If she was a single woman wanting to enhance her looks to attract attention, then fine. Why is a married woman looking to get implants when the man she married isn't a boob guy? Is she not getting enough attention or affection from you? Is she fishing for compliments from others? This is something that needs to be thoroughly discussed in a relationship. Any major purchase should be planned and discussed between spouses or significant others.

I've known married women who have gotten implants and tummy tucks only to quickly divorce their husbands and flaunt their new bodies. Cosmetic surgery can be a tremendous improvement for burn victims or crash victims or those who have needed reconstructive surgery because of cancer or disease. Celebrities go under the knife to keep job offers rolling in. The rest of the population gets it for attention or self-confidence. I'm sorry but if your self-confidence is found in any other organ other than your brain, then you don't need implants. You need therapy.

Would it be ok with your wife if you withdrew 10 grand and got some tattoos and a motorcycle? It's your money, your choice, right?? Strong relationships have disagreements, but if there's no compromise before a big decision is made, then I question the strength of the relationship. This is a matter for both husband and wife. I don't believe implants in this scenario will solve a thing and I agree that you should be uncomfortable with her feeling that she needs them.

I blame Hollywood

 

[KLD1019]

IMO, if a marriage ends in divorce/affair after such procedures, then there were problems with the marriage BEFORE the procedures. whether or not anyone from the outside knew about it, its easy to just blame the procedure. :shrug:

 

[Dana]

IMO, if a marriage ends in divorce/affair after such procedures, then there were problems with the marriage BEFORE the procedures. whether or not anyone from the outside knew about it, its easy to just blame the procedure. :shrug:

some folks keep things bottled up. so one person in a relationship doesn't necessarily know whats going on within the others mind. NO matter how much you know someone there are always skeletons locked away in the closet in the back of their mind.

 

[Chillaxicator]

Ultimately... and there's no way to say this without sounding petty... I blame her mother. Her mother was and still is a terrible mother, who was more concerned about herself, and hasn't focused any attention on either of her daughters for years, which is where a lot of my wife's issues with attention and stuff come from, and why my sister in law looks like Marilyn Manson....

 

[KLD1019]

some folks keep things bottled up. so one person in a relationship doesn't necessarily know whats going on within the others mind. NO matter how much you know someone there are always skeletons locked away in the closet in the back of their mind.

agree, and thats why when people see divorce happen after a procedure like the such, they think its all because of the new body! things arent always black and white. its a poor excuse to use as to why people shouldnt get things done

 

[KLD1019]

Ultimately... and there's no way to say this without sounding petty... I blame her mother. Her mother was and still is a terrible mother, who was more concerned about herself, and hasn't focused any attention on either of her daughters for years, which is where a lot of my wife's issues with attention and stuff come from, and why my sister in law looks like Marilyn Manson....

but you said she isnt doing it for attention. so im confused!

im the baby of the family, i was/am my grandpaws favorite. i got lots of attention. still has nothing to do with me wanting to get a boob job to make me feel better about myself!

 

[Chillaxicator]

but you said she isnt doing it for attention. so im confused!

im the baby of the family, i was/am my grandpaws favorite. i got lots of attention. still has nothing to do with me wanting to get a boob job to make me feel better about myself!

She's doing it for herself, but the attention is what's for her. And it's because she's not confident enough in herself, and I would attribute that to her mother being neglectful and spiteful and immature and ABSENT for a better part of her childhood, which sucks because she lived with her mom, but her mom spent her hours AFTER work at the casino, for my wife to feed herself and her little sister, all on her own... and her mom always places her current boyfriend ahead of EVERYONE else... always has... so I attribute a lot of her issues to that...

 

[Keight]

Nah, it's relevant. And she's not going overly huge, she wants to go up to like a C. The biggest problem I've been having is that she's so numb to my feelings at all. I'm not asking her to change her mind, I just want her to think further into it than, "I want it and that's what matters." She's my wife and I'll back her up, and I'll be understanding when it comes to her self confidence or whatever, but in turn, I'm her husband, and she should be just as aware and sympathetic to MY feelings, it is a marriage after all.

She deifinatley needs to be sympathetic to your needs too. I understand that and she wont even budge a little about thinking about it?
Perhaps show her some horror stories an see if that makes her think about it a little more.
You seem to be in a tough spot dude, i just hope it works out. she needs to understand though once she gets it done her body is never going to be the same again sure she can get them removed but the scars will always be there.

 

[RedRyder]

yeah,..like my penis developing a mind of its own...its bad enough it acts up when it wants...but does it have to the smart one?...gees..shit happens

Well.... Two heads are better than one.... So long as one of them knows what to do.

 

[Taralynn]

Well.... Two heads are better than one.... So long as one of them knows what to do.

 

[RedRyder]

Haha! Hiya, Tara...... Well..... Was I right or what?

 

[Taralynn]

Haha! Hiya, Tara...... Well..... Was I right or what?

You are kee-rect!! As long as we know what to do with one of the heads, at any rate.

 

[Thornless]

yeah don't they make umm boob things to make your bust look better? I've seen it on tv...

As cheap as 13 bucks too