If my bf would drink evey night after work I would worry too, and I don't think I'm an over reacting person. Maybe I wouldn't worry about my baby seeing it, but anyway, I think Kat is right when it comes to this one. "I guess" is not an answer that would make anybody feel apreciated
word of advice
- Thread starter Kat
- Start date
Users who are viewing this thread
-
40Replies
-
1KViews
-
0Participant count
-
Participants list
Peter Parka
Well-Known Member
Well I'm sure you know Kat and Bo better than me so my opinion dosent really count for too much which is why I don't want anyone to get upset about it here. I just think Kat is one of the most lovely girls I've ever talked to and from what I've heard Bo is a great guy who loves his missus and kid but is under a lot of stress. I think they are both great people and I hope they can get through this and be happy together.
TheOriginalJames
Well-Known Member
Well I'm sure you know Kat and Bo better than me so my opinion dosent really count for too much which is why I don't want anyone to get upset about it here. I just think Kat is one of the most lovely girls I've ever talked to and from what I've heard Bo is a great guy who loves his missus and kid but is under a lot of stress. I think they are both great people and I hope they can get through this and be happy together.
This is exactly my point right here. Thank you.
He does love em both, he's just not the type of guy that feels he needs to show it every 10 minutes.
Kat has the right to feel the way she does. She takes care of her little girl and only wants the appreciation from her man, so how does that make her wrong? Some females NEED to feel appreciated and LOVED. I know I do. Yes Bo may not be the only one with problems, but we all have problems.
Kat, you should really talk to Bo and see what he says. I understand what you are going through (BELIEVE ME, I do). Hit me up on PM and we can talk if you need to.
Kat, you should really talk to Bo and see what he says. I understand what you are going through (BELIEVE ME, I do). Hit me up on PM and we can talk if you need to.
I agree V.
Kat, it is always the right and best thing to offload as and when things crop up in yr mind.
It is not ideal for you to be made to feel useless etc by yr partner.
Whether he is a sensitive person to yr needs or not, you only wanted to talk things through and let him know how you are feeling. That is not a crime and if he really doesn't wish you to be with you, then it should be him telling you, not the other way around as it is you that wants this to continue. You want it to work out, so you are doing what you think is best.
It's ok for ppl to say take the hint etc, but I know you would much rather things work than not, as you believe in relationship togetherness etc, as far as I have worked out from chatting to you.
It needs to be remembered that you are going through the transition period from pregnancy, to giving birth, to dealing with a feeling of being neglected -Kat's body has yet to get bk to normal, which can a lot longer than ppl realize. It doesn't happen quickly for all women.
Kat, sorry, didn't mean to talk 'about' you as though you are not here just then, but just wanted to say that so that ppl understand.
There is not a quick fix, but plenty of support is needed. Along with V, I am there for you too hun. *huge hug*.
There is no offence meant here to anyone else's posts at all, so pls don't take it that way, or dwell on it anyone, I just understand how she is feeling that's all.
Kat, it is always the right and best thing to offload as and when things crop up in yr mind.
It is not ideal for you to be made to feel useless etc by yr partner.
Whether he is a sensitive person to yr needs or not, you only wanted to talk things through and let him know how you are feeling. That is not a crime and if he really doesn't wish you to be with you, then it should be him telling you, not the other way around as it is you that wants this to continue. You want it to work out, so you are doing what you think is best.
It's ok for ppl to say take the hint etc, but I know you would much rather things work than not, as you believe in relationship togetherness etc, as far as I have worked out from chatting to you.
It needs to be remembered that you are going through the transition period from pregnancy, to giving birth, to dealing with a feeling of being neglected -Kat's body has yet to get bk to normal, which can a lot longer than ppl realize. It doesn't happen quickly for all women.
Kat, sorry, didn't mean to talk 'about' you as though you are not here just then, but just wanted to say that so that ppl understand.
There is not a quick fix, but plenty of support is needed. Along with V, I am there for you too hun. *huge hug*.
There is no offence meant here to anyone else's posts at all,
so pls don't take it that way, or dwell on it anyone, I just understand how she is feeling that's all.
sundvlfn88
Banned
doesn't sound good. Not positive that is.
TheOriginalJames
Well-Known Member
Kat has the right to feel the way she does. She takes care of her little girl and only wants the appreciation from her man, so how does that make her wrong? Some females NEED to feel appreciated and LOVED. I know I do. Yes Bo may not be the only one with problems, but we all have problems.
Kat, you should really talk to Bo and see what he says. I understand what you are going through (BELIEVE ME, I do). Hit me up on PM and we can talk if you need to.
I don't think she's wrong in the way she feels, I just think she's grossly overreacting to it.
thank you all for your responses and while it does give me a lot to think on...just to let ya know a bit more where im coming from. I have tried various times to talk to Bo these past few months about how im feeling. And nothing ever changes. Its gotten to the point where i need something.
James yes i did get upset about Bo drinking every night but it was not just because of kylie...it was because of him saying he needed to to fall asleep.
And again there comes a point in time when you say you arent happy so many times about something. IM not ever asking him to tell me every 10 mins that he loves me or whatever. I dont need that much reassurance but i do need something.
Lets go back...let me say valentines day...nothing not even a card....mothers day....again nothing...my birthday....nothing but a promise of a belated present that still has yet to come. Even a card to say he cared would have been wonderful.
I have spent the last 2 months at least...sleeping in bed alone. I have spent the past 2 months trying to do something just me and him and the more i try to make him happy the more he says im a pain. Every time I try to talk to him about my feelings I am wrong...or he understands at the time but never does anything different. He wont even look at me while im talking to him (something he asks of me out of respect) His eyes are always glued to the tv.
I have always believed if you love someone they are worth fighting for but when it seems for so long you are the only one fighting...then whats the point...yes i know he loves his daughter...maybe i even know he loves me....but not enough in some ways. With my past history of depression...maybe im asking too much here but i need someone who understands and when im feeling down in the dumps...someone who will pick me back up. Not someone who makes me feel worse. (he used to make me fel better now he just tels me hes frustrated or annoyed at me when i say the smallest thing)
want me to go into the sex part of our relationship? HA! its a laugh most times...the rare cases when we are together...and then its only about him...once hes taken care of he falls asleep... he also hasnt cared lately that sometimes it hurts...i can say ow 5 times before he actually listens and stops whats hurting i was in tears the other night and he heard me but didnt stop....also he gets his fill then doesnt even sleep in the same bed as me after...like im some girl he picked up off the street or something.... add this to everything else then tell me i should think he cares about me...tell me im overreacting
James yes i did get upset about Bo drinking every night but it was not just because of kylie...it was because of him saying he needed to to fall asleep.
And again there comes a point in time when you say you arent happy so many times about something. IM not ever asking him to tell me every 10 mins that he loves me or whatever. I dont need that much reassurance but i do need something.
Lets go back...let me say valentines day...nothing not even a card....mothers day....again nothing...my birthday....nothing but a promise of a belated present that still has yet to come. Even a card to say he cared would have been wonderful.
I have spent the last 2 months at least...sleeping in bed alone. I have spent the past 2 months trying to do something just me and him and the more i try to make him happy the more he says im a pain. Every time I try to talk to him about my feelings I am wrong...or he understands at the time but never does anything different. He wont even look at me while im talking to him (something he asks of me out of respect) His eyes are always glued to the tv.
I have always believed if you love someone they are worth fighting for but when it seems for so long you are the only one fighting...then whats the point...yes i know he loves his daughter...maybe i even know he loves me....but not enough in some ways. With my past history of depression...maybe im asking too much here but i need someone who understands and when im feeling down in the dumps...someone who will pick me back up. Not someone who makes me feel worse. (he used to make me fel better now he just tels me hes frustrated or annoyed at me when i say the smallest thing)
want me to go into the sex part of our relationship? HA! its a laugh most times...the rare cases when we are together...and then its only about him...once hes taken care of he falls asleep... he also hasnt cared lately that sometimes it hurts...i can say ow 5 times before he actually listens and stops whats hurting i was in tears the other night and he heard me but didnt stop....also he gets his fill then doesnt even sleep in the same bed as me after...like im some girl he picked up off the street or something.... add this to everything else then tell me i should think he cares about me...tell me im overreacting
TheOriginalJames
Well-Known Member
Have you thought of seeking some sort of help? I'm not saying you're imbalanced or psychologically messed up. But, in your own words of 'past history of depression', it still makes me think you're overreacting to a topic you just brought up out of the blue. I don't know what else to tell you now. Getting some outside help for the relationship may be the only way for you two to get through to each other.
TheOriginalJames
Well-Known Member
Does he feel as if the relationship is moving along just fine?
Awww Kat *hug*
Those looking outside in, can easily judge or comment, whichever is the case.
You don't ever have to explain yourself or justify why you do things (I am not suggesting anything as far as anyone else is concerned on here by the way, just want to say this to Kat).
Kat, you are a real person, with real feelings and things that have been happening, are not yr imagination, you really are going through a real tough time now.
Whether or not you have had depression before, has nothing to do with how you are feeling now, Bo is to do with how you are now, so you are not overeacting when the situation is real. Depression is brought on because of things that happen to ppl. You have not gone looking to be depressed, as you know.
You are such an amzing person, you will get through this and you keep talking hun.
You haven't done anything wrong, have nothing to apologize for, no-one to apologize to and you are most certainly not over-reacting. You are going through a nightmare at the moment and I will support you all I can.
Those looking outside in, can easily judge or comment, whichever is the case.
You don't ever have to explain yourself or justify why you do things (I am not suggesting anything as far as anyone else is concerned on here by the way, just want to say this to Kat).
Kat, you are a real person, with real feelings and things that have been happening, are not yr imagination, you really are going through a real tough time now.
Whether or not you have had depression before, has nothing to do with how you are feeling now, Bo is to do with how you are now, so you are not overeacting when the situation is real. Depression is brought on because of things that happen to ppl. You have not gone looking to be depressed, as you know.
You are such an amzing person, you will get through this and you keep talking hun.
You haven't done anything wrong, have nothing to apologize for, no-one to apologize to and you are most certainly not over-reacting. You are going through a nightmare at the moment and I will support you all I can.
TheOriginalJames
Well-Known Member
Kat the only two people who can help you are you and Bo. My advice, Rias advice; it's pretty much all useless. I can tell you my opinion, Ria can give you the sympathy that you need... but nothing is going to help until Bo decides to give you what you want, but you can't beat around the bush in asking for it or popping up random conversation pieces like that. I don't know what else you've said to him, but if he cares he'll eventually try to help himself and your relationship with him. BUT, at the same time, you can't force it. You have to let things go. I know it's hard to not take a "I guess *shrug*" to heart, but unless you layed into him and got an answer out of him you can't just assume he doesn't care.
TheLightedPath
Active Member
Thats def something I would do.
TheOriginalJames
Well-Known Member
I didn't want to make a joke aout of this but there are other better ways of relaxingI knock back one or two almost nightly.
TheOriginalJames
Well-Known Member
I didn't want to make a joke aout of this but there are other better ways of relaxing
Like what? Playing my guitar? playing guitar hero? watching TV? Sure. I do all of that, but what is so damn wrong about drinking a few beers? Drinking lightly doesn't make one a lush or an alcoholic.
Of course not James, but being me a person who doesn't like drinking (except when I'm in a party), you have to understand me, lol
TheOriginalJames
Well-Known Member
Gotcha.
80,566Threads
2,194,947Messages
5,014Members