hehe.. sorry.. but that one is true... *shakes head* LOL
Want some VD
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[FONT="]One day a single mother was in the grocery store with her 4 kids. They were acting up. Bad little kids. They were running around grabbing items off the shelves crying and screaming all over the place. The mother grabbed all and said "I should of swallowed all of you!"[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]A husband came out of the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained "I have a headache" "Perfect"husband said. "I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with aspirin. You can take it orally or as a suppository it's up to you!"[/FONT]
[FONT="]A husband came out of the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained "I have a headache" "Perfect"husband said. "I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with aspirin. You can take it orally or as a suppository it's up to you!"[/FONT]
[FONT="]True Story... A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that 6 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did he have to leave the set, but half the crew did too... they were laughing so hard.[/FONT]
Ehhh...I'll give you 5K for it. I removed the last joke from your post, though.
I smiled...and semi-chuckled. I'll give you credit.
I laughed.
Seen it before, but it made me smile. No laugh, but I'll give you 5K for it.
This wasn't in THIS thread, but it made me laugh harder than anything in this thread, so I sent Jen 10K for it.
Now you can stalk people the accepted way.
Johnfromokc
Active Member
The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blonde cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and his boots, so he arrests him for indecent exposure.
As he is locking him up, he asks "Why in the world are you walking around like this?"
The Cowboy says, "Well it's like this Sheriff . I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her. So I did. We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt... so I did. Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants so I did. Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts ...so I did.
Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says, 'Now go to town cowboy... '.
"And here I am."
As he is locking him up, he asks "Why in the world are you walking around like this?"
The Cowboy says, "Well it's like this Sheriff . I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her. So I did. We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt... so I did. Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants so I did. Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts ...so I did.
Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says, 'Now go to town cowboy... '.
"And here I am."
:24: :24: :24:
:thumbdown And you must brush your teeth CONSTANTLY if the majority of the tube only lasts you 5 - 8 days.
Heard it before, but it still makes me laugh.
A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating. She says, "What the hell do you guys think you are doing?" One of the Japanese men says, "Can't you see? We are all berry hungry." The waitress says, "So how is whacking-off in the middle of the restaurant going to help that situation??" One of the other businessmen replies: "The menu say, FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!"
John woke up one morning with an enormous erection so he turned over to his wife's side of the bed. His wife, Heather, had already awakened though, and she was downstairs preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Afraid that he might spoil things by getting up, John called his little boy into the room and asked him to bring it to his wife. The note read:
The Tent Pole Is Up,
The Canvas Is Spread,
The Hell With Breakfast,
Come Back To Bed.
Heather answered the note and then asked her son to bring it to her husband. The note read:
Take The Tent Pole Down,
Put The Canvas Away,
The Monkey Had A Hemorrhage,
No Circus Today.
John read the note and quickly scribbled a reply. Then, he asked his son to bring it to his wife. The note read:
The Tent Pole's Still Up,
And The Canvas Still Spread,
So Drop What You're Doing,
And Come Give Me Some Head.
Heather answered the note and then asked her son to bring it to her husband. The note read:
I'm Sure That Your Pole's
The Best In The Land.
But I'm Busy Right Now,
So Do It By Hand!
The Tent Pole Is Up,
The Canvas Is Spread,
The Hell With Breakfast,
Come Back To Bed.
Heather answered the note and then asked her son to bring it to her husband. The note read:
Take The Tent Pole Down,
Put The Canvas Away,
The Monkey Had A Hemorrhage,
No Circus Today.
John read the note and quickly scribbled a reply. Then, he asked his son to bring it to his wife. The note read:
The Tent Pole's Still Up,
And The Canvas Still Spread,
So Drop What You're Doing,
And Come Give Me Some Head.
Heather answered the note and then asked her son to bring it to her husband. The note read:
I'm Sure That Your Pole's
The Best In The Land.
But I'm Busy Right Now,
So Do It By Hand!
...animal sex is a no-no even in the Underground, so that pic has to go.
well there goes any pictures with me in them then...:24:
Those can go straight to my Inbox. IJS
you couldnt handle me in your box....
:ninja Oh...ummm...my.
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