Truths about sex

Mrs Behavin

Mrs Behavin

Well-Known Member
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15 Year Club Well Known
1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone oestrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.

2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.

3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.

4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!

5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.

6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!

7. Sex is the safest tranquilliser in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.

8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.

9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.

10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

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HAVE MORE SEX!!! :rock :rock :rock
 
Mrs Behavin said:
1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone oestrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.
So can bathing at least once a week.

2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.
Doing your housework like a good little wife will also make you sweat.

3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.
See above

4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!
You don't need any shoes at all to vacuum

5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.
We don't want to know how you are feeling, just get us another beer and shut up.

6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!
You will have sex as often as WE need it

7. Sex is the safest tranquilliser in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.
Stick with the Valium, it worked for your mother.

8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.
Just brush your teeth like the rest of the civilized world

9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.
Your headaches were invented to avoid sex in the first place

10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.
Just grab a tissue and BLOW, and while your at it, I have something else I want you to blow... Right Here!
Click to expand...

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:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl
 
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