I agree and like your idea of patriotism. Cherish the freedoms and privilege you have, but don't love something as paradoxical as a "Nation": Some hybrid of geographical physicality and collected ethereal consciousness.
Of course, forms of aggressive nationalism have existed in modern Europe, and reached their culmination between the 30's and 70's. It's a very, very dangerous ethos. Situations are completely different of course, and you'd be a fool to draw too many parallels between American nationalism and the nationalism of, say, Germany under Hitler, Italy with Mussolini or Franco in Spain. For one thing, America, like France & England, can draw upon a clearer and more defined sense of nationality than Spain or Italy. This certainly helps, these countries never had need of a despot who could exploit the desire for uniformity. For the most part, the people of these countries already possessed the innate understanding of what their nationality was, or at least, had already undergone the process to achieving this.
As to what defines a "nation", there are a million reasons, and you could argue indefinitely, factors such as geography, race & religion, culture can break up nations; but I believe war is the major factor in shaping them. "Patriotism is the shared hatred of a common neighbour." America was created through a war with England\Britain. England and France were shaped (in an albeit lengthier and more complex process) by wars with each other. Whereas in the last major European war, both Italy and Spain regressed from external conflict to fight internally.
