Should I have said something?

[Charmer]

How come Boomer hasn't jumped into this thread?

He would have said something probably along the lines of, "Get your feet off my furniture and sit up straight;" but probably more forceful ????

Then he would have picked up a frying pan and crowned her i nthe head to knock some respect into her! :muscles:

 

[Charmer]

I agree with Audra. It's your house; if people come into your house, they must respect your rules. I go to people's houses and if I see a bunch of shoes by the front door, I think that's a big fucking clue that people don't wear shoes inside the house!

Also, obviously this kid was raised in a house where people just plopped down wherever in whatever position they wanted to; there's probably dried, moldy food in the cushions and squished on their floors, too.

I would never walk into someone else's house, not even a family member's house and put my feet all over their furniture. What the hell? Is that normal?

 

[TheOriginalJames]

I agree with Audra. It's your house; if people come into your house, they must respect your rules. I go to people's houses and if I see a bunch of shoes by the front door, I think that's a big fucking clue that people don't wear shoes inside the house!

Also, obviously this kid was raised in a house where people just plopped down wherever in whatever position they wanted to; there's probably dried, moldy food in the cushions and squished on their floors, too.

I would never walk into someone else's house, not even a family member's house and put my feet all over their furniture. What the hell? Is that normal?

Everybody's rules are different. Granted it's a common thought to be curteous and no put your legs up on peoples furniture... but hell, not everybody's rules are exactly the same. As long as you don't put a hole in my wall, I don't care how/where/what position you sit.

So I don't believe this automatic respect/knowing of rules can be applied.

If she comes over again, say something. but otherwise I think it's just frustration from mole hill to mountain.

 

[BreakfastSurreal]

I always lounge on furniture, and if I am at someone elses house watching a movie, if they are lounged out i will do the same. I don't think sitting sideways in a chair is really grounds to get angry with someone, i would have just asked that she please took her shoes off the furniture, theres no way she could have gotten mad at that.

 

[Mrs Behavin]

Its just the fact too that this was the first time she has ever been in my house. Apparently she isnt a bashful person. To just be able to get all comfy and cozy in someones house you've never been in before

 

[Magic P]

I would definitely have said something, not just for the sake of setting examples for the children but also showing that I do have a standard and noone is gonna ruin it. People nowadays have this thinking of "well it's no big deal, its none of my business", if they keep saying that, the world will just be turned into an ignorant place. I put a note by the door of my flat saying"please take your shoes off", there are enough idiots who dismiss the note completely. I am not inviting them over ever again. If I do, they would just think it's ok to be disrespectful at my flat.

 

[SRC]

Its just the fact too that this was the first time she has ever been in my house. Apparently she isnt a bashful person. To just be able to get all comfy and cozy in someones house you've never been in before

Then that right there should have told you that getting angry wasn't the answer. I think in light of your recent aggrivations .. that might have stemmed some of your anger on this matter.

When we are already upset about bigger things .. small things tend to really get us riled up.

She can't help that she isn't bashful. She also can't help that she didn't know that it would offend you to get comfy on your furniture. Wearing her shoes was kinda unthoughful .. but she's 19. She's a teenager .. teenagers do that.

A simple, "please don't do *fill in the blanks* would have sufficed.

Now, if she refused to comply, that would be grounds to get angry for real .

 

[Magic P]

It also tells how different we all are. Somethings that are big deals to us ain't to others. Some people would even think blaming it on parents is ridiculous but I personally think that if you are well mannered, it says something good about your family as well. People don't like being pointed out cuz it's blunt but if they learnt something then they should appreciate someone who goes out their ways to correct their behaviour. I think teenagers need it nowadays.

 

[SRC]

That's besides the point. I already said that a page or two ago. Her question was "should she have gotten mad" .. my answer is "no, not really" for the reason I stated.

Sometimes you need to look at things from a different point of view besides your own. Sometimes it helps to diffuse a situation when you look at a situation from someone elses eyes. People can only operate the way they were taught (although, some do go against it, for one reason or another).

My reasoning .. you can't fault someone for not being taught the same way you were. You can only fault them if you ask them to not do whatever it was that bothered you .. and they turn around and do it again. At that point .. they are "at fault".

 

[TheOriginalJames]

Jennie is awesomely-correct.

 

[Maritxu]

I always lounge on furniture, and if I am at someone elses house watching a movie, if they are lounged out i will do the same. I don't think sitting sideways in a chair is really grounds to get angry with someone, i would have just asked that she please took her shoes off the furniture, theres no way she could have gotten mad at that.

I agree. I wouldn't say anything if there were no shoes involved even when I may think it's unpolite. But all that takes is being nice and saying it the right way.

 

[sundvlfn88]

I would of definately said something. I am sure you paid good money for your furniture and it needs to be treated the way you would treat it.

 

[GraceAbounds]

Ditto to Pony Girl, Clare and SRC's posts.

 

[Mrs Behavin]

I would of definately said something. I am sure you paid good money for your furniture and it needs to be treated the way you would treat it.

Just got this new furniture back in December. Havent had it very long. I just thought it was dissrepectful and sure didnt want my kids seeing her sit that way and them get the idea that they can do it too

 

[HottyToddyChick]

I'm with Clare on this one. If the person who owns the place is lounging, I will too, but probably not my first time there.

I think you would have been well within your rights to mention that you are trying to teach your kids not to do that, and if she could please put her feet down, that would be great. I wouldn't have been angry with her, at least not outwardly, but you could have said something. It is your house, after all. You make the rules.