Second Hand Smoke & Kids

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Tim

Tim

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SRC said:
Absolutely not .. my child doesn't even know I drink. He's 11 .. He learns by example .. and I would like for him to remain as innocent and unbias as possible.

When I feel the appropriate age comes, that I believe that he can and will understand the act and meaning of drinking .. I will disclose my actions to him .. but until then I will not do something in front of him that I don't want him doing until he is of a certain age (not saying 21 .. but I'd prefer him not be 13 and drinking).

I also don't curse in front of my child either.
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I completely applaud your stance on this. :clap

I agree with you for the most part, but I will have a beer in front of my children. But you need to understand how much we drink at home... maybe a beer or two a week, sometimes weeks between beers. So there really isn't any chance that they will turn out to be alcoholics from seeing us have a cool one now and then. I won't ever let them see me drunk or buzzed for that matter. We save that for the occasional times he spends the night with the grand parents. (neither set of grand parents drink or smoke)
 
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SRC

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RecklessTim said:
I completely applaud your stance on this. :clap

I agree with you for the most part, but I will have a beer in front of my children. But you need to understand how much we drink at home... maybe a beer or two a week, sometimes weeks between beers. So there really isn't any chance that they will turn out to be alcoholics from seeing us have a cool one now and then. I won't ever let them see me drunk or buzzed for that matter. We save that for the occasional times he spends the night with the grand parents. (neither set of grand parents drink or smoke)
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Exactly my point, they don't need to see that .. they don't really "understand" what they are seeing (even though they "think" they understand every lol).

I don't drink in front of him because my parents (they actually don't drink at all) didn't in front of me (learn by example). I like to go out and drink, but I rarely drink at home .. and if I do it's usually late at night or when no one but me is home and it's usually just a glass or 2 of wine. And I rarely get smashed at home. I think I have a good/well balanced outlook on drinking and I'd like to try and give my son the same outlook I have as well.

I think kids who are exposed to things at young ages tend to have issues with things that they might not have if they hadn't been exposed to it. Not saying all will have issues .. but I think more do than don't.
 
groundpounder

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SRC said:
I think kids who are exposed to things at young ages tend to have issues with things that they might not have if they hadn't been exposed to it. Not saying all will have issues .. but I think more do than don't.
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kaBLAM!!!!

Dead on and right between the eyes on that one, Jennie. Right between the eyes.:clap
 
Dana

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SRC said:
Absolutely not .. my child doesn't even know I drink. He's 11 .. He learns by example .. and I would like for him to remain as innocent and unbias as possible.

When I feel the appropriate age comes, that I believe that he can and will understand the act and meaning of drinking .. I will disclose my actions to him .. but until then I will not do something in front of him that I don't want him doing until he is of a certain age (not saying 21 .. but I'd prefer him not be 13 and drinking).

I also don't curse in front of my child either.
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thats like saying the reason I drink now is because I used to see my parents have a few beers. I used to HATE alcohol so learning something from seeing somebody else doing doesn't always mean you're going to emulate it. I didn't start drinking because i thought "hey my parents are doing it... IT MUST BE COOL"


U might aswell say the parents are forcing them to drink...
 
HisHoliness

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Dana said:
thats like saying the reason I drink now is because I used to see my parents have a few beers. I used to HATE alcohol so learning something from seeing somebody else doing doesn't always mean you're going to emulate it. I didn't start drinking because i thought "hey my parents are doing it... IT MUST BE COOL"


U might aswell say the parents are forcing them to drink...
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She's not saying that. She's saying parental behavior is a possible contributing factor. I don't think you can argue against that.
 
SRC

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HisHoliness said:
She's not saying that. She's saying parental behavior is a possible contributing factor. I don't think you can argue against that.
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Honestly, I think he could argue with a wall, but hey .. that's just me.

Fox Mulder said:
A. HisHoliness's point above.

B. Its not conscious behavior--children don't consciously say to themselves "Gee--my parents drank so that's what I should do." But there is absolutely no reasonable way to argue that children don't emulate parents--they do--and any parent that has children knows this to be true. Now--does that mean that a kid will definitely smoke or drink if his/her parents do--of course not--but as a parent you have a responsibility to set a good example for children--that means not smoking in front of them, not getting drunk in front of them, and a whole lot of other things. And none of us who are parents are successful at all of it. We all are going to pass some bad habits on to children--its impossible to avoid, but the hope is that you pass on far more productive and positive habits and traits than negative.
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Exactly .. if you do something over and over in front of children .. inadvertantly not only do they become desensitized to it .. they become accustomed to it. They will believe it to be the norm.

My parents don't drink or curse ... I do both. But I made the decision ON MY OWN and not because I was subjected to it growing up .. and believed that's how everyone was. I want my child to be bale to make that decision on his own as well.
 
G

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Fox Mulder said:
Its not conscious behavior--children don't consciously say to themselves "Gee--my parents drank so that's what I should do." But there is absolutely no reasonable way to argue that children don't emulate parents--they do--and any parent that has children knows this to be true. Now--does that mean that a kid will definitely smoke or drink if his/her parents do--of course not--but as a parent you have a responsibility to set a good example for children--that means not smoking in front of them, not getting drunk in front of them, and a whole lot of other things. And none of us who are parents are successful at all of it. We all are going to pass some bad habits on to children--its impossible to avoid, but the hope is that you pass on far more productive and positive habits and traits than negative.
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I can't believe this has to be spelled out for people.

Nice spelling Mulder. ;)
 
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