Relationship Question

[HottyToddyChick]

Hmmmm... go back to the part where your hand was reaching into his pants.


Pocket.

His pants pocket.

Jacket pocket. But nice try. :24:

 

[PoopaSwoof]

I tell Moonie I love here everyday, multiple times.
She knows I mean it.

 

[Alien Allen]

Let's say you're hanging up the phone and she tells you she loves you. Would you hang up without saying it just because it's not an intimate moment, or would you say it anyway?

My reason for asking is because my boyfriend does this, and it confuses the hell out of me. When I leave his house, or hang up the phone or anything else like that, I always end with, "Love ya." Yes, it's casual and quick, but the sentiment is there.

He, however, hardly ever says it back. I called him on it, in a half joking manner, and his explanation was that he thinks it's too easy for those words to become habit and lose meaning if they're just "thrown around" like that. If he only says it when "the time is right", then I'll know he means it.

I think that sounds a little weird, and it really bothers me sometimes. Maybe it's just because I'm a girl. I don't know. I was just curious if this would bother anybody else, or if I'm being weird and naggy about it.

I work with a guy that never finishes a phone call with his wife without saying I love you. It kind of got to be a joke around the office. I agree it can lose meaning.

I never was comfortable with saying I love you. Even now given my shitty state of affairs I have to force it. Much easier to do on the phone rather than in person.

My parents never said they loved you. Did not have to. It was a given and understood.

Me thinks every couple is different and that it is what it is. I would rather get the occasional I love you that meant something than be bombarded with it. Loses the meaning with me when done like that.

 

[Abcinthia]

I say it fairly often and I mean it everytime. I say it on msn, in emails, in letters, in text messages and on the phone. But it's different for everyone. It hasn't lost any meaning to me.

But there are other little things you can do to show the person you love them. Like Zorak has never bought me flowers, but he's bought me gifts that mean a lot to me and aren't going to die after a few days. And he always pays me attention and remembers most things.

 

[Peter Parka]

I tell her every day.

 

[AUDRAA]

daily multiple times and he does too sometimes Ill get random I love you texts too and yes its meant

 

[Anghellic]

I am rarely the emotional one in the relationship.. Weird being that I'm a girl, but it is true.. My last relationship I didn't tell my boyfriend I loved him for 7 months.. He told me after 3 months, and even then I felt like I was being pushed into saying it when I wasn't ready to. Then after a few years of always saying it, the relationship really was falling to pieces and I never felt compelled to say it because of how he made me feel about myself and that he never wanted to listen to my concerns about the relationship, just voice his... So I found myself saying it less and less because I was feeling it less and less. I am also sure it doesn't help that I come from a family that rarely says I love you and hardly hugs and what not. I am also a lot better at showing it than saying it.

I think it is really dependent on the situation though.. I feel like for guys it is much less likely to be that they aren't feeling it anymore, just that they do think it can be over used, or they automatically think you should just know you love them. That you have hit that comfort level where you don't need assurance anymore (even if us women always need assurance Ha). Tangerine is right, if nothing else in your relationship seems out of place, I wouldn't think this is cause for concern.

 

[ClicheGuevara]

couple times a day, and i mean it every time.

 

[itsmeJonB]

i used to say it always

 

[kim3478]

Well from my experience, I had a serious relationship once, almost a year long...I can say that I think it varies amongst couples.
If you at least knows he loves you, that's a good thing. If he's not going to speak his love for you, he should at least show it in some ways lol. I think it's important to know that we are adored by the other person, it just makes you feel secure, and you feel you can trust them more.
I don't know if this helps, but it's just something I've sorta learnt.

 

[Haus]

I never told my GF that I loved her. She told me 2 weeks after we got together. When she said it i was very quiet cause i felt it was too soon. she had gotten out of a year+ relationship a month before to her fiance. and I hear alot of people throw that 4 letter word around like it means nothing. weve been together for 4 months now and I havent said it yet. I still dont feel like Im in love with her

I said it to girls in the past and I know when I said it, i didnt mean it. I have never been in love. Infatuated, yes.In love, no. and I promised myself I would never say it again unless i meant it and she knows this.Im just not gonna blow smoke up her ass to make her happy. cause in the long run it will hurt her

I have no idea what to say to her when she says it. I usually say stuff like, thank you, thats sweet or mhmm hmm lol

then she thinks i dont want to be with her cause i dont say it or know how to show it.

Shes 20 and Iam 27 years old and our mind sets are completely different

 

[Tyler Durden]

I never told my GF that I loved her. She told me 2 weeks after we got together. When she said it i was very quiet cause i felt it was too soon. she had gotten out of a year+ relationship a month before to her fiance. and I hear alot of people throw that 4 letter word around like it means nothing. weve been together for 4 months now and I havent said it yet. I still dont feel like Im in love with her

I said it to girls in the past and I know when I said it, i didnt mean it. I have never been in love. Infatuated, yes.In love, no. and I promised myself I would never say it again unless i meant it and she knows this.Im just not gonna blow smoke up her ass to make her happy. cause in the long run it will hurt her

I have no idea what to say to her when she says it. I usually say stuff like, thank you, thats sweet or mhmm hmm lol

then she thinks i dont want to be with her cause i dont say it or know how to show it.

Shes 20 and Iam 27 years old and our mind sets are completely different

Well if you're not in love with her, you're very right not to say it, regardless of how it makes her feel.

I was the first to say it with Satin and....before I did....I said I didn't want her saying it back immediately. Didn't want it to be a "gut reaction/oh I have to say it now they have" thing.

 

[Haus]

Well if you're not in love with her, you're very right not to say it, regardless of how it makes her feel.

I was the first to say it with Satin and....before I did....I said I didn't want her saying it back immediately. Didn't want it to be a "gut reaction/oh I have to say it now they have" thing.

yeah I know. I told her if/when I say it she will know I mean it

 

[Tyler Durden]

yeah I know. I told her if/when I say it she will know I mean it

As for what you say back when she says it to you? Wow. Not a clue. Anything you say is going to sound very bizarre.

 

[Haus]

As for what you say back when she says it to you? Wow. Not a clue. Anything you say is going to sound very bizarre.

the 1st time she cought me off guard.

and what ever i say after she says it(doesnt say it that often) shell say like "yeah unfotanetly I love you"

i just look at her and say "unfortanetly huh"

haha

apart of me doesnt think she is. I think shes just young and really infatuated with me.

sometimes she says "im starting to have strong feelings for you" or "i really like you"

 

[Tyler Durden]

I knew I was in love about a month or two before I said it. I skirted around it for weeks saying "I adore you" or other such nonsense as I didn't want to say it too early, then I didn't want to say it first, but eventually thought "what the hell....just be honest"

 

[Leananshee]

Huh. I've said it to her nearly every day for nearly ten years, but she never does unless I do. And I have to say that kinda bugs me.

tim :eek

 

[MoonOwl]

I tell Moonie I love here everyday, multiple times.
She knows I mean it.

:smiley31:

Especially when I'm cooking him food! :24:

We're pretty vocal w/each other :nod:

 

[satinbutterfly]

I say it all the time. Sometimes I worry that I say it too much, but with the distance I don't get to express it in other ways so it just comes out verbally.

 

[Taralynn]

Daily. And several times a day if I get the opportunity.