Reasoning behind porn?

[Mrs Behavin]

Let me explain my dilemma as to why I ask that question.

My husband (like 99% of the male population) looks at porn quite frequently. He trys to hide it from me (like I dont know where to look at on the computer, duh!) I dont know why he hides it, he and I both know that I know he looks at it. No biggie. Kinda use to it.
BUT, he and I have not had sex since like August sometime. A girl has needs!!!!
I have asked him what is up with that and so he says it is because with the new medicines I am taking for my thyroid that he is afraid that they will counteract with my birth control. Which I can understand his reasoning behind that. He doesnt want me to wind up pregnant. But you would think that he would still be in some kind of mood sexually even though he doesnt want to go there right now. I hope all this is making sense so far!
So my question is, if he wont lay a hand on me and goes each day like he doesnt even think about (almost like he is bored with it) then why does he still continue to look at porn? If he is absoletely in no mood for sex, then why does the thought to look at porn cross his mind?

 

[Tim]

Looking at porn to fill a certain need and having sex are two completely different things.

You can compare it to football....

He may not feel like getting involved in a neighborhood game of football, but he'll watch a professional game on TV anytime. The two are completely different, why do women think that it's the same thing? It's the same as comparing sex and masturbation. They aren't the same.

 

[Peter Parka]

I think most men look at porn but there seems to be a problem if he's not having sex with you too. If he's worried about problems it might cause why don't you pleasure each other in ways that don't involve intercourse?

 

[Veronica]

hey, I have a solution...

One one of the nights he turns you down, say.. fine, ill handle myself and start masterbating right there. lol

Im gonna let the guys handle the porn thing, because this confuses me too.

 

[Homer]

i'm really not into porn yes we've all seen it at one time or another i just never felt the need , but after 30 years with the one i love i seem to remember if i did see porn it would lead to me sneaking up on my wife not long after, not that i needed porn to be motivated.

 

[SloMoFo]

Let me explain my dilemma as to why I ask that question.

My husband (like 99% of the male population) looks at porn quite frequently. He trys to hide it from me (like I dont know where to look at on the computer, duh!) I dont know why he hides it, he and I both know that I know he looks at it. No biggie. Kinda use to it.
BUT, he and I have not had sex since like August sometime. A girl has needs!!!!
I have asked him what is up with that and so he says it is because with the new medicines I am taking for my thyroid that he is afraid that they will counteract with my birth control. Which I can understand his reasoning behind that. He doesnt want me to wind up pregnant. But you would think that he would still be in some kind of mood sexually even though he doesnt want to go there right now. I hope all this is making sense so far!
So my question is, if he wont lay a hand on me and goes each day like he doesnt even think about (almost like he is bored with it) then why does he still continue to look at porn? If he is absoletely in no mood for sex, then why does the thought to look at porn cross his mind?

porn gives us single people something to play on our fantasies..but when i am in a relationship my porn viewing does seem to decrease

but in your case id be pissed too...he's afraid of getting you pregnant...ok...so why can;t he wear a condom?

 

[SloMoFo]

Looking at porn to fill a certain need and having sex are two completely different things.

You can compare it to football....

He may not feel like getting involved in a neighborhood game of football, but he'll watch a professional game on TV anytime. The two are completely different, why do women think that it's the same thing? It's the same as comparing sex and masturbation. They aren't the same.

because hes making excuses to not sleep with her? wtf is that

buy a vibrator and a dildo and if he has a problem with that then tell him "well you're not doing anything for me"

i mean ok if he doesnt want to get you pregnant ...AND won't wear a condom then what about foreplay? does he have an excuse for not going down on you either?

 

[Tim]

You're right Slo, I was only addressing the difference between the two. I don't think it's ok to come up with excuses night after night. Saying that he doesn't want to have sex but he looks at porn, is the same as saying he doesn't want to have sex but he rides his 4-wheeler. I guess my point is that one isn't neccesarily connected to the other. Sex and Porn that is.

 

[alleycat]

I hate that stuff. It's so degrading, especially when people hide it. Thats just pathetic.

 

[UncleBacon]

i'm really not into porn yes we've all seen it at one time or another i just never felt the need , but after 30 years with the one i love i seem to remember if i did see porn it would lead to me seeking up on my wife not long after, not that i needed porn to be motivated.

not the thing I wanted to read today thats for sure

 

[Homer]

not the thing I wanted to read today thats for sure

well how the hell do you think you got here.

 

[Veronica]

lol @ bacon!


Steph is right though. Its not right what he is doing. But he probably doesnt see it the same way us girls see it. Like i said masterbate in FRONT of him!! Show him that you dont need him to get off.

 

[sharpies]

I think that this is a very complex issue. There are a lot of reasons why someone may prefer porn to the real thing. Porn (legal non exploitive) in itself is not really a good or bad thing, but can be put to either use.

Women are incredibly complex beings & in my experience the more that a man wants sex, the less likely he is to get it, but stop pestering for sex every five minutes, the more the woman wants it.

This may be about his own inadequacies - maybe he feels he can't perform any more. Maybe he is giving you room to heal, if he felt pushed away while you were ill.

I think you need to chat - tell him what you expect/want & ask him the same. I think that masturbating in front of him may get his attention but won't fix the problem - he may just decide he likes it & wait for you to do it again.

A lot of maybe's & I think's in there but I'm not an expert.

Allan

 

[Mrs Behavin]

I tell ya what though. If something doesnt happen SOON, I will explode! Its just all building up inside me the longer we go w/o anything happening. He is going to regret withholding on me when I do explode cause when I do, there wont be any way possible that he will be able to say no or turn me down.

 

[Tim]

You need to find out WHY he doesn't want to have sex. There has to be a reason, there always is. Your birth control pills are not the only form of protection you can use. If he wanted to have sex with you, messed up birth control would not stop him. This is why I think that there must be some other reason you guys aren't having sex. If you can find out what that problem is for him, then maybe you can work out a solution.

 

[Mrs Behavin]

We were joking around about it last night and he said "Dont worry, I cut all my girlfriends off too". I knew he was kidding, I just dont know if he is embarrassed to actually talk about it or what.

 

[Tim]

Now that you are kind of talking about it, persue it a little more. Try to get to the bottom of it. Just remember, the sooner you can identify the problem and correct it, the sooner you can go back to having regular sex.


Maybe you should consider going to the dentist and having your front teeth fixed/replaced. I mean, I would have a real hard time being sexually attracted to you the way you look right now. Maybe you can comb that hair or something.... I mean look at your avitar, not the best picture of yourself. You kinda let yourself go. :24:














:jk:

 

[TheOriginalJames]

Let me explain my dilemma as to why I ask that question.

My husband (like 99% of the male population) looks at porn quite frequently. He trys to hide it from me (like I dont know where to look at on the computer, duh!) I dont know why he hides it, he and I both know that I know he looks at it. No biggie. Kinda use to it.
BUT, he and I have not had sex since like August sometime. A girl has needs!!!!
I have asked him what is up with that and so he says it is because with the new medicines I am taking for my thyroid that he is afraid that they will counteract with my birth control. Which I can understand his reasoning behind that. He doesnt want me to wind up pregnant. But you would think that he would still be in some kind of mood sexually even though he doesnt want to go there right now. I hope all this is making sense so far!
So my question is, if he wont lay a hand on me and goes each day like he doesnt even think about (almost like he is bored with it) then why does he still continue to look at porn? If he is absoletely in no mood for sex, then why does the thought to look at porn cross his mind?

Men are visual creatures, porn is visual. If you walk around nekkid all the time, or grab a toy and go at it in front of him, he'll be in the mood in the amount of time it takes blood to flow down there...

 

[Mrs Behavin]

Maybe you should consider going to the dentist and having your front teeth fixed/replaced. I mean, I would have a real hard time being sexually attracted to you the way you look right now. Maybe you can comb that hair or something.... I mean look at your avitar, not the best picture of yourself. You kinda let yourself go. :24:

Oh my gosh! Until I got to the end and realized you were talking about the monkey in my avatar, I almost started crying

 

[TheOriginalJames]

I knew he was kiddin off the bat, cause you're a certified hottie!