Question mainly for the ladies

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 2 (members: 0, guests: 2)
Kat

Kat

Heart & Soul
Messages
8,166
Reaction score
0
Tokenz
0.01z
How do you handle porn and your partner? Are you comfortable with it. ( be it strip clubs/ internet pics & videos/ or even magazines)

Just curious how other women view it.

Me personally I really dont like it...don't get the point of it when your partner is willing to do anything for/with you.

I also think it's insulting....

Honestly I've watched things with my bf a few times... but I dont like it when he watches it by himself (when I see it on internet after I get home)....especially right now I'm so not happy about it...dont know if its a security issue with me...or if I'm just having a hard time because of being prego.:(


Guys maybe some of you might be able to shed some light for your side too though.

Any answers/input would be appreciated.
 
  • 62
    Replies
  • 2K
    Views
  • 0
    Participant count
    Participants list
SilentEyz

SilentEyz

Well-Known Member
Messages
5,305
Reaction score
0
Tokenz
0.00z
Men are very Visual,

Porn and your partner can be a stimulant for your Sex life. The things to consider IMO.,. Is it occasional, Or is all the time, If there is an addiction to porn on his part, then I would be concerned, But some Porn To me I would think Is normal, Strip Clubs,and magazines, They are Just Visual Tools, They make a man Think, need and Want, They create Fantasies, Which are Healthy to a degree in any Sexual Relationship, For him and For you.

The best thing you can really do for yourself is to Talk to him, Ask him what it is that he enjoys and/or gets out of the Porn. Does it Excite him more when you Join him, You need to find out what it is he is thinking when it comes to porn, Find out for yourself if ti is a Healthy sexual enjoyment.. Or an obsession/addiction, That is on the road to unhealthy.
 
Tim

Tim

Having way too much fun
Valued Contributor
Messages
13,518
Reaction score
43
Tokenz
111.12z
Sex and porn are not the same in the eyes of a man. A man can be with a beautiful and willing woman, but will still strain his neck to see accross the bar because some trashy chick is flashing the crowd. It's not like he want to be with her or thinks that she is sexier than his woman, it's just the fact that she is showing something. Men are very visual when it comes to sexuality.
 
Kat

Kat

Heart & Soul
Messages
8,166
Reaction score
0
Tokenz
0.01z
I will say it is not all the time at all... not very frequent....but I guess its still hard for me to understand... we only recently got a computer so before...when he looked at it I never knew.

I love the honesty we have between us (the fact that he wont hide that) but sometimes I wonder if I'd feel better not knowing.

Porn and me have had a long standing battle...even before my current bf. Though with him this is the easiest and best I've handled it. By ex's it was used as a weapon against me ...with them saying why can't you look more like them basically. I think it permantly put a scar on me. He has NEVER made me feel that way but there's still that small voice screaming in the back of my head....reminding me of all the words I've heard before him. I got that for about a year straight from another ex who did everything in his power to destroy my self image...unfortunatly I let him. I guess I'm still trying to let go of that. It's been 5 years since I was with that ex.... and 2 wonderful years with my current bf (the father of my baby)

It's just sometimes hard to let go of past hurts. I have tried talking to him about it... and even after all the reassurance he gives...like I said sometimes theres that small voice screaming. Don't know how to shut it up
 
Maritxu

Maritxu

OTz's Official Spanish Hottie
Messages
3,058
Reaction score
2
Tokenz
0.12z
I don't care if my boyfriend watches it, with our without me. Of course I don't care if he plays with himself either, so...
 
SilentEyz

SilentEyz

Well-Known Member
Messages
5,305
Reaction score
0
Tokenz
0.00z
You haave tried Talking to him? But have you told him Exactly what it is that makes you uncomfortable,

And as for your Ex, any man that tries to compare you to a Porn star, They need a reality Check. you could always try Watching and viewing some porn alone, Build up your comfort level with it, hell stop and take a close look at it, Sometimes it can be funy, Look close.. These girls are not always that pretty, And sometimes the sounds are Just hilarious, Find the humor in it, Bring them down.. not yourself, Watch it and see the acting, That might take away some of your anxiety's of it.
 
Kat

Kat

Heart & Soul
Messages
8,166
Reaction score
0
Tokenz
0.01z
thanks SilentEyz ... I never really thought to do that...it's a good idea...think I'm gonna try it
 
BreakfastSurreal

BreakfastSurreal

Well-Known Member
Messages
9,071
Reaction score
0
Tokenz
0.38z
Kat said:
How do you handle porn and your partner? Are you comfortable with it. ( be it strip clubs/ internet pics & videos/ or even magazines)

Just curious how other women view it.

Me personally I really dont like it...don't get the point of it when your partner is willing to do anything for/with you.

I also think it's insulting....

Honestly I've watched things with my bf a few times... but I dont like it when he watches it by himself (when I see it on internet after I get home)....especially right now I'm so not happy about it...dont know if its a security issue with me...or if I'm just having a hard time because of being prego.:(


Guys maybe some of you might be able to shed some light for your side too though.

Any answers/input would be appreciated.
Click to expand...

Personally I don't see a problem with it. It could become a problem though if your husband/bf was just watching porn and not having sex with you...but if he has a stronger drive than you do, then I don't think it's such a bad thing for him to whack it to porn if you can't give it to him whenever he needs it. When I say you, I mean the general you, not you specifically so don't think I'm telling you what you should do. I've been with my bf for 3 years now, and I am the only one that watches porn. It's fun, and different, and sparks new ideas in my mind. The passion dies out after having sex multiple times a day for a few years...lol. maybe we should have kept our pants on more often. Oh well I still love him :)
 
Mrs Behavin

Mrs Behavin

Well-Known Member
Messages
20,411
Reaction score
0
Tokenz
0.86z
My husband looks at it quite a bit and he isnt ever gonna change. So, it doesnt bother me anymore. Now, when he trys to hide it from me, thats when it pisses me off. I dont care if he goes to strip clubs, as long as he isnt getting a lap dance. Thats where I draw the line on that one. He looks at porn on the computer and thinks he is hiding it from me. He goes to Mozila Firefox and looks at the stuff because it wont show up on the toolbar. And then he bookmarks them. WTF! I have no idea why?
 
Darkstar

Darkstar

Active Member
Messages
3,944
Reaction score
0
Tokenz
0.00z
Hell I watch it too, prolly more than he does. Im a visual person too, to the extreme where I like to watch as HE is watching. Its like porn X2, lol. But if my partner wanted to frequent a strip club, even if he would get a lap dance, it really wouldnt bother me. Im a trusting person, and I dont see the point in getting pissy because im not the center of his world.

I just wish he shared the same view.
 
Mrs Behavin

Mrs Behavin

Well-Known Member
Messages
20,411
Reaction score
0
Tokenz
0.86z
Darkstar said:
Hell I watch it too, prolly more than he does. Im a visual person too, to the extreme where I like to watch as HE is watching. Its like porn X2, lol. But if my partner wanted to frequent a strip club, even if he would get a lap dance, it really wouldnt bother me. Im a trusting person, and I dont see the point in getting pissy because im not the center of his world.

I just wish he shared the same view.
Click to expand...

Yeah there have been times that I have come home and surprised him with some dirty videos to watch. Watching them together gets me turned on and then the sex is really hot
 
Darkstar

Darkstar

Active Member
Messages
3,944
Reaction score
0
Tokenz
0.00z
I want a video camera for christmas. I have slowly become an exhibitionist....screw watching it, lets make one.
 
Veronica

Veronica

The OG
Valued Contributor
Messages
31,408
Reaction score
109
Tokenz
317.03z
In my opinion...

I love it when me and joe do stuff like that TOGETHER.. But if he does it behind my back, I feel like he would rather have that than me. I dunno why I feel that way. I sure wish I didnt. Basically it is fine and dandy when done together. :)
 
79,504Threads
2,190,262Messages
5,002Members
Back
Top