My girl's sex drive is opposite of mine.

[Boomer]

Hey guys! I know its been a long time, but when I'm in a spot I always know I can come to the OTz and get a straight answer. SO! Off we go!

I've been dating Krystin for about 5 months now and I love her to pieces. Matter of fact, popping the question is indeed in the future. When we first got together we were all over each other. Not a night would go by that we didn't make love. Which blew my mind. I had yet to meet a woman who could match my drive in the sack. Well that seems to have changed. Sex has slowed down alot. Like....alot. She said it was like that in the begining because we had just met and she hadnt had sex in a while, but that her drive will never get that high again. This bothers me. I may have a problem, but I want her all the time. She is always passing out in bed. Saying she's tired or generally just not in the mood. I feel rejected. Unattractive, hurt and frustrated. I've been trying to kick the frustration, but I just cant. This has me in a bad place. I feel like she may not actually be the one. What do you guys think?

 

[Mystic]

...you've only been dating for five months and its already sex dead...yes that is bad. I've been married for 15 years and its only been the last year that sex has dwindled, so i'd say you really need to hold off on popping that question as sex is a big part of marriage and intimacy.

 

[Boomer]

Thats what I was thinking. I'm like, we just got together but she's acting like we've been married for years!

 

[Boomer]

Is having sex every night a weird thing? Am I expecting too much?

 

[Darrell]

Thats what I was thinking. I'm like, we just got together but she's acting like we've been married for years!

Yeah, man. That's not a good sign. Five months is nothing in terms of a relationship, and if the sex is already slowing down that much, you might want to punch out.

 

[Boomer]

This sux. I really like her...

 

[Mystic]

Is having sex every night a weird thing? Am I expecting too much?

just once? Hell just twice a day at five months and i'd still be thinking hummmm. But ya once a day is not something weird at such an early time in your relationship.

 

[NoDak]

Maybe you want to focus your attentions on other things besides sex. If the whole relationship is founded on bedroom antics, it ain't much to begin with. Do you, two, just like being together? I mean, with clothes on, doing something together, hanging out together, things that don't include sex. If every activity you do with her is expected to end up with your clothes on the floor, she might just be getting tired of being 'used'. Maybe she needs to be reassured that you're sticking with her for all reasons, not just for getting your rocks off. Hell! You can do that by hand, for gosh sakes!
What I'm trying to say is: Re examine your motives for being with her. If it always comes down to sex, walk away. Women want more than to lie on their backs all the time. They want to be loved and cared for because you love and care for them.

 

[Darrell]

Maybe you want to focus your attentions on other things besides sex. If the whole relationship is founded on bedroom antics, it ain't much to begin with. Do you, two, just like being together? I mean, with clothes on, doing something together, hanging out together, things that don't include sex. If every activity you do with her is expected to end up with your clothes on the floor, she might just be getting tired of being 'used'. Maybe she needs to be reassured that you're sticking with her for all reasons, not just for getting your rocks off. Hell! You can do that by hand, for gosh sakes!
What I'm trying to say is: Re examine your motives for being with her. If it always comes down to sex, walk away. Women want more than to lie on their backs all the time. They want to be loved and cared for because you love and care for them.

Kudos to you, NoDak. That is really solid advice. Well said! :clap

 

[rback33]

Maybe you want to focus your attentions on other things besides sex. If the whole relationship is founded on bedroom antics, it ain't much to begin with. Do you, two, just like being together? I mean, with clothes on, doing something together, hanging out together, things that don't include sex. If every activity you do with her is expected to end up with your clothes on the floor, she might just be getting tired of being 'used'. Maybe she needs to be reassured that you're sticking with her for all reasons, not just for getting your rocks off. Hell! You can do that by hand, for gosh sakes!
What I'm trying to say is: Re examine your motives for being with her. If it always comes down to sex, walk away. Women want more than to lie on their backs all the time. They want to be loved and cared for because you love and care for them.

Kudos to you, NoDak. That is really solid advice. Well said! :clap

:shesaid

 

[Staci]

nodak took the words out of my mouth. have you also tried talking to her to see if something else is going on in her life? some women, when stressed or worried, can lose their sex drive

 

[Mystic]

...and if we are getting cared for and loved enough we want sex more than you...well i do anyway...but i think most women do. ...but i still think 5 months is WAY to early in a relationship for sex to be something that is 'cold' and dry humped.

 

[Alien Allen]

Kudos to you, NoDak. That is really solid advice. Well said! :clap

:shesaid

geeze now you guys tell me that

 

[purpledove]

Maybe you want to focus your attentions on other things besides sex. If the whole relationship is founded on bedroom antics, it ain't much to begin with. Do you, two, just like being together? I mean, with clothes on, doing something together, hanging out together, things that don't include sex. If every activity you do with her is expected to end up with your clothes on the floor, she might just be getting tired of being 'used'. Maybe she needs to be reassured that you're sticking with her for all reasons, not just for getting your rocks off. Hell! You can do that by hand, for gosh sakes!
What I'm trying to say is: Re examine your motives for being with her. If it always comes down to sex, walk away. Women want more than to lie on their backs all the time. They want to be loved and cared for because you love and care for them.

I totally agree with this. Well said :nod:

Maybe she's feeling that your relationship is just based on sex that she's wanting the re-assurance from you. She might have fears. Talk to her and know her needs/fears....be open to her and let her be open in the same way. As besides sex- good communication plays a good part in maintaining a long lasting, strong relationship. When she's able to let you know openly what she wants/needs in the relationship, am sure the sex drive will come back naturally for her. Hope everything works well for the 2 of you.

 

[Panacea]

I have a freakishly high drive but once a night every night is a lot, even when you first meet. I can see how it might seem like "too much" for someone. What has it dwindled down to? At least once a week? Or less than that?

 

[Natasha]

Once a night is not too much. I'd be happy w/ 2 - 3 times a day.

Ermmm...maybe I'm secretly a guy or something???

Sounds like you and your girl need to talk, Boomer. If you've already considered popping the question, I don't think you should be too quick to dismiss this relationship. Sex drives ebb and flow...it has nothing to do w/ your attractiveness or anything you have done.

 

[teh_fuzz]

Thats just part of being married :ninja sex drive diminishes like your freedom once you say "i do" LOL

ok ok J/K but to be honest it seems like the excitement of a new relationship has worn down a bit. Now you need to think if this is the actual person you want to spend the rest of your life with. The normal, non-sex crazed woman that is currently your GF.

If you are having concerns over this at 5 months and you are having second thoughts, i would question your thinking/feelings on this woman. If you in fact do love her, then you would not only enjoy your time with her in bed, but your time WITH her, her company, her friendship, etc, etc...

Good luck and don't make rash decisions on something like marriage dude!

 

[cam elle toe]

Sorry, but it sounds as though your in lust, not love. Love is much more than just sex all the time.

 

[CityGirl]

Sorry, but it sounds as though your in lust, not love. Love is much more than just sex all the time.

That might be the case. Let's give him some time to sort it out.

 

[Thornless]

I agree with the statement she may be feeling more like an object, than a partner. How about spicing it up by picking a day she won't be too tired. Get her flowers, take her out to dinner, nice walk, movie (with just small touches, hugs, light kisses, cuddles). At the end of the night, refrain from sex. If she shows interest, make it all about her, but don't let her 'have' you.