Loved Ones in Prison

[DuhhhBlond]

yes I send him pictures
but he is only allowed to have fifty-something "polaroids"
so I print them out on paper.. he can have all he wants then

he gets crafts and stuff
he always has to have something to focus on or he gets in trouble
i send him the max commisary money they allow
they let him have pens
but he could only have pencils in the jail

he can go outside anytime he wants
he has a coat and boots
works out
plays pool and poker
and reads
but doesn't want me to send the funds for a tv
we're not much of tv watchers
he listens to music alot too

he used to be a volunteer fire fighter when he was home
so he's trying to get into the wrok program doing that
but he won't make trustee for two more months

 

[DuhhhBlond]

It's tough for him. His little sister was getting beat up by her boyfriend, and my friend's final straw broke one night when she came in with a bloody nose. He ran out and met the guy in the driveway and things went too far. I wasn't there, so I only know what he told me.

His problem is that he won't say he would have done anything different if given the chance.

I have a friend just like that
shot his son-in-law in the kneecaps
for beating his daughter

he won't show remorse
and theyre really sticking it to him

 

[Laure]

I have a friend just like that
shot his son-in-law in the kneecaps
for beating his daughter

he won't show remorse
and theyre really sticking it to him

Maybe it's the redneck in me talking, but any man who would do anything different just isn't a real man.

The people who make those decisions obviously have a difficult time putting themselves in another person's shoes. What would they do if it was their daughter or sister or friend or mother getting beat on?

My ex beat the living hell out of me for years. It got to the point where I couldn't leave the house. The cops wouldn't do anything. So called "women shelters" wouldn't help me. And nobody else would lift a finger to defend me against him. When the government and law enforcement sit by and let women be abused and beaten like dogs, what else are people supposed to do besides take matters into their own hands?

 

[DuhhhBlond]

sorry you had to go through that

 

[JanieDough]

damn duh - your son got a lot of time

i don't think non violent first offenders should get that much time!

my cousin was 16 and he kept getting into fights. he beat this kid pretty badly (a kid his own age) and went to court. they gave him a chance to pay restitution and do community service and be on parole, but instead he got into another fight

so they sent him to a boys home type juvenile center. he has to grauduate high school, get job training, learn how to balance a check book and finish therapy before he can get out - and then he has to go to a half way type home. and the he will be on parole for a few years.

To me, that's a good system

some boys just wrong. they have all this anger and hormones and life is fucking unfair at that age.

i totally think the system is jacked up.

 

[Burntblood]

I'm pretty sure I'll end up in prison some day.
Not so much for the things I've done but for the things I haven't.
It's a cell of my own.

 

[DuhhhBlond]

damn duh - your son got a lot of time

i don't think non violent first offenders should get that much time!

my cousin was 16 and he kept getting into fights. he beat this kid pretty badly (a kid his own age) and went to court. they gave him a chance to pay restitution and do community service and be on parole, but instead he got into another fight

so they sent him to a boys home type juvenile center. he has to grauduate high school, get job training, learn how to balance a check book and finish therapy before he can get out - and then he has to go to a half way type home. and the he will be on parole for a few years.

To me, that's a good system

some boys just wrong. they have all this anger and hormones and life is fucking unfair at that age.

i totally think the system is jacked up.

yeah I think they were pretty harsh, too, especially since I drained my husband's 401k payin for a "good" attorney
and yes, he's so young and a first time non-violent offender
i think the judge is freakin' senile
they said he's too dangerous because he's "too smart"
this time will only misguide him further
I want to get him therapy while he's in there, but they won't allow it

now when he is paroled
i may have to take my horses and all and move out there
because it is almost impossible to get that heavy of a parole moved so many states away

 

[GuesSAngel]

Maybe it's the redneck in me talking, but any man who would do anything different just isn't a real man.

The people who make those decisions obviously have a difficult time putting themselves in another person's shoes. What would they do if it was their daughter or sister or friend or mother getting beat on?

My ex beat the living hell out of me for years. It got to the point where I couldn't leave the house. The cops wouldn't do anything. So called "women shelters" wouldn't help me. And nobody else would lift a finger to defend me against him. When the government and law enforcement sit by and let women be abused and beaten like dogs, what else are people supposed to do besides take matters into their own hands?

I'm sorry with what you've been through...but I just can't see physically harming someone or killing someone over it. I would be so disappointed in my husband if he went after someone who did harm to me like that. It would only be more punishment towards me with him being away in jail b/c of something he's done that was so stupid. I need him to be a 'man' at home..he's not really the 'man' at home if he's away in prison.

Self defense is a different story though...if it actually were me being attacked I would find a way to defend myself. Like I said before, there's no jury in the world that would convict someone my size for self defense.

 

[Laure]

I'm sorry with what you've been through...but I just can't see physically harming someone or killing someone over it. I would be so disappointed in my husband if he went after someone who did harm to me like that. It would only be more punishment towards me with him being away in jail b/c of something he's done that was so stupid. I need him to be a 'man' at home..he's not really the 'man' at home if he's away in prison.

Self defense is a different story though...if it actually were me being attacked I would find a way to defend myself. Like I said before, there's no jury in the world that would convict someone my size for self defense.

I can certainly see your point, and I respect your opinion. When you put it like that, I guess I have to agree. I remember lying and covering up around my dad and my brother, just because I didn't want them getting into trouble for doing something to him. At the same time, however, there was always a part of me that wished somebody would do something to stop him.

Mixed feelings about it, I guess. But, I can see where you're coming from.

 

[Asian Jul]

Maybe it is the way I was raised but you get what you ask for when you choose to commit a crime. I do sympathize for those who have to go through the pain of missing a loved one while they are incarcerated but things are different when the crime was committed against you.

 

[JanieDough]

Maybe it is the way I was raised but you get what you ask for when you choose to commit a crime. I do sympathize for those who have to go through the pain of missing a loved one while they are incarcerated but things are different when the crime was committed against you.

yeah but MOST crimes are committed by people who don't think about them too much before hand...they just act in that moment.

and you really have to make the punishment fit the crime

it's ridiculous to lock away a young man in his prime and deny him education or rehabilitation just for some non violent crime

you need to add that rehabilitation and not just punishment in the jail part.

 

[Jessica]

Maybe it is the way I was raised but you get what you ask for when you choose to commit a crime. I do sympathize for those who have to go through the pain of missing a loved one while they are incarcerated but things are different when the crime was committed against you.

I agree with you

 

[Asian Jul]

yeah but MOST crimes are committed by people who don't think about them too much before hand...they just act in that moment.

and you really have to make the punishment fit the crime

it's ridiculous to lock away a young man in his prime and deny him education or rehabilitation just for some non violent crime

you need to add that rehabilitation and not just punishment in the jail part.

I agree that the punishment must fit the crime but everyone has a choice. Acting "in the moment" is still making a decision one way or the other. If you commit the same crime over and over, well, that's no longer acting in the moment.

Do they not have education in prison?

 

[Tuffdisc]

Anyone have a loved one incarcerated?

It's absolutely heartbreaking. My son is in until 2014. He's my first-born, and my life. I get to talk to him every other day for twenty minutes, but the time always seems too short. And I write to him everyday, but it is hard to visit since he is 2000 miles away.

Sometimes I have panic attacks thinking something bad has happened to him.

I've thought about joining support groups, but those people may be even more messed up than my family is.

Don't they get the prison sentence reduced for good behaviour? Not that I am judging you and your son

 

[Jessica]

I agree that the punishment must fit the crime but everyone has a choice. Acting "in the moment" is still making a decision one way or the other. If you commit the same crime over and over, well, that's no longer acting in the moment.

Do they not have education in prison?

I don't know...they don't have education in prison...do they?

 

[GuesSAngel]

i don't know about all but I do know for a fact that there are prisons that teach education. The source I have, is my dad used to work for one.

 

[JanieDough]

I agree that the punishment must fit the crime but everyone has a choice. Acting "in the moment" is still making a decision one way or the other. If you commit the same crime over and over, well, that's no longer acting in the moment.

Do they not have education in prison?

what I was trying to say is sometimes there isn't the thought process behind what you do - there isn't the mens rea...

Don't they get the prison sentence reduced for good behaviour? Not that I am judging you and your son

she said he got like 14 years or something, but 5 is his earliest parole - that will be "for good behavior"

I don't know...they don't have education in prison...do they?

most do, but not all

and then the ones that do sometimes make it an elite program that is hard to get into.

 

[Tuffdisc]

she said he got like 14 years or something, but 5 is his earliest parole - that will be "for good behavior"

.

Sorry, must read the post thoroughly next time

 

[DuhhhBlond]

the classes they offer are basic high school level

his college days are over

he defaulted on all his loans, and drained my well dry

we'll have to start our own business or something

 

[JanieDough]

Sorry, must read the post thoroughly next time

no need to be sorry - I am sorry if I made you feel like you should apologize

I just know Duh from way back and I was paying close attention with concern so I remembered and saw it.

the classes they offer are basic high school level

his college days are over

he defaulted on all his loans, and drained my well dry

we'll have to start our own business or something

a lot of my friends' parents are doing that - buying them a business. but it costs a lot to do that too.

what about pell grant or something - is what he did considered a felony?