JoeCool talks to JoeCool.

[JoeCool10]

I've been going through an intense emotional roller coaster these past few days... Going over things in my head, over and over again. The way he spoke to me, when he first told me he loved me, the way he looked in my eyes the first time we made love, when he told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, when I told him I was having his child. Then I think of all the pain he made me feel, leaving me during the pregnancy, leaving me alone in the delivery room, coming back into my life, leaving again, then coming back, and now he's gone again. I don't deserve it, our son doesn't deserve it (especially). It fucking hurts so bad and I can never seem to cut this line...

Fuck, I probably sound all ridiculous and loaded with baggage... I don't have any other outlets than this. I need to start working again so I can get my mind off of this.

 

[freakofnature]

I'm sorry. People can really suck sometimes. :thumbdown

 

[jassilem]

I am sorry sweetie.

*hugs*

 

[Dana]

I'm sorry Megan. You need to cut all ties. You're lucky your son is still young enough that he's not as impressionable as say if you had a 5 year old. Oh and kick him in the balls.

 

[JoeCool10]

I am sorry sweetie.

*hugs*

Thanks :smiley31:

I'm sorry Megan. You need to cut all ties. You're lucky your son is still young enough that he's not as impressionable as say if you had a 5 year old. Oh and kick him in the balls.

The hard thing is that Dean doesn't know who to call dada. He's always saying it, but there isn't one around. I would love to kick his dad in the huevos rancheros.

 

[JoeCool10]

INSOMNIA SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKSSSSSSSSSSSS.

I seriously need to start working again. asdfghjkl;

 

[Peter Parka]

Whats all the being sorry about? Ultimately JoeCool has the power to decide what's best for her. If this thread is for her to rant away and get it out of her system, go for it! I'm listening in a non judgemental way.:thumbup

 

[Haus]

If you cant sleep, count sheep. Dont count endangered animals cause you will run out

 

[JoeCool10]

Whats all the being sorry about? Ultimately JoeCool has the power to decide what's best for her. If this thread is for her to rant away and get it out of her system, go for it! I'm listening in a non judgemental way.:thumbup

I think I'm gonna start boxing.

If you cant sleep, count sheep. Dont count endangered animals cause you will run out

But I wanted to count pandas

 

[jassilem]

 

[JoeCool10]

I also need a new Valentine. I could feasibly find one at a bar, but he/she wouldn't be much of a Valentine if their puking on me.


This is what my brain comes up with when I haven't slept in a month.

 

[JoeCool10]

Well at least parts of me are falling asleep.

 

[JoeCool10]

Today was a GREAT day! My little monkey is 1! I can't believe how quickly time passes. I still remember the first time I held him in my arms and looked in his beautiful, blue eyes. I love my little man!

 

[JoeCool10]

Today was a good day, went out with a girlfriend today with my son to the beach. We talked about a lot of things. She's older and has some more experience than I do, but her and I are like kindred spirits when it comes to relationships. We fall in love easy and get brokenhearted quick. I dunno, I think just knowing that there are other people in the world who are worse off than I makes me slap myself and say "quit yer whinin', Megan!". I don't make sense even to myself when I ramble on like this, I just write what I feel. I used to love writing, when I was in high school. Anyway, I feel loads better. I'm gonna renew my gym membership and start working out more and going to school.

 

[JoeCool10]

Never mind. Fuck, I hate men.

 

[JoeCool10]

Guess who just entered the world of the adult industry? THIS GIRL. lmao :24:

 

[Dana]

Guess who just entered the world of the adult industry? THIS GIRL. lmao :24:

say what? where and how much for the video?

 

[JoeCool10]

All the vids are being sent to another country and my face won't be in them.

 

[Dana]

son of bitch....

 

[JoeCool10]

FUCK MEN. Fuck them fuck them fuck them. hard in the ass.