Ignorant people....

[Thornless]

Sorry, since I'm new can I ask what condition your son has?

Also- I would never. Ugh, I remember the one time I was MORTIFIED in public when my 3 year old pointed and YELLED, "LOOK JESS, A MIDGET!!!" about 15 feet away from a little person in Target. I was slightly too far away, and the man was walking away or I would have stopped him and apologized... but I did drag my son's butt out of there and gave him a stern speech about it doesn't matter what anyone looks like, it's no business of his to point it out to anyone, and if he has any questions about why someone looks a certain way he can ask me in private.

He has extremely sensitive skin, eczema, and a crap load of allergies (egg, milk, nuts, tree nuts, cats, dogs, mold, dust, pollen... possible sun allergy). We've been battling it since he was about 6mths old when he stopped breastfeeding. He used to be covered head to toe in a red, itchy rash... they gave him a cortisone shot and now just suffers from outbreaks... Atm his eyes are puffy, red, dry, watery... his mouth is red, dry skin keeps cracking as he laughs/cries/smiles cracking it more so it doesn't get a chance to heal properly... you try telling a 3 year old to stop laughing/talking/crying so the medicine he's on can work better.

He's on a crap load of medicine, and I break down in tears often because just when we get his skin under control.. something breaks his skin out again.... it's so frustrating, and often I feel like I'm failing as a mother to keep him healthy.... thankfully Amara has none of these problems & Michael is happy, he doesn't let it slow him down... and it helps my sanity.

I might make a slight comment but not aloud so that everyone can hear me. That is just plain rude. I try to be considerate of others 90% of the time. I still have issues with mentally handcapped individuals though. That's my own issue and would never speak on it to anyone accept those who know my own personal history.

Are you fucking serious... excuse me while I refrain from lashing at you or commenting further so I don't get banned.

You'd be surprised what can be heard... keep it in your fucking head and get evaluated...

A good parent or person should not even make a point of pointing out any differences between people. It sets a bad example for their children..

If only they all followed this.

 

[Panacea]

poor baby, he probably suffers so much as it is...so sorry Thornless, I know you do all you can, don't be hard on yourself.
I had Fifths Disease as a child (basically just a rash all over my body) and they quarantined me from my dance class. I was so sad I cried the whole time, I just felt like a freak.

It's so hard for children.

 

[Abcinthia]

A good parent or person should not even make a point of pointing out any differences between people. It sets a bad example for their children..

That's what I was thinking. Truth be told, young kids are quite accepting of physical and mental differences. They might pick up on the differences and question why but how the parents or adults around them responds, is what shapes their future opinions and reactions.

When I did work experience at Secondary School, I worked in a special needs school which was right next to a normal primary school. The younger, less disabled children used to go and play with the primary school children at playtimes and occassionally some of the children from the normal school would participate in lessons with the disabled children. I helped to supervise the playtimes and all the kids played happily together - no one cared that some of them looked or acted a bit differently. But sadly, some of the parents really took offence to it. It made me so angry that when I left work at the end of the school day, there would be parents telling their children not to play with the ones from the "retard" school and calling the children all sorts of names.

Eurgh it makes me feel sick just remembering it.

 

[Thornless]

poor baby, he probably suffers so much as it is...so sorry Thornless, I know you do all you can, don't be hard on yourself.
I had Fifths Disease as a child (basically just a rash all over my body) and they quarantined me from my dance class. I was so sad I cried the whole time, I just felt like a freak.

It's so hard for children.

It's not fair... he's such a loving, smart little boy... i don't understand why he has this, why we can't control it... and why these idiots I run into can't have it instead... they are the ones who need to some karma... I hope they wake up covered head to toe with eczema..

That's what I was thinking. Truth be told, young kids are quite accepting of physical and mental differences. They might pick up on the differences and question why but how the parents or adults around them responds, is what shapes their future opinions and reactions.

When I did work experience at Secondary School, I worked in a special needs school which was right next to a normal primary school. The younger, less disabled children used to go and play with the primary school children at playtimes and occassionally some of the children from the normal school would participate in lessons with the disabled children. I helped to supervise the playtimes and all the kids played happily together - no one cared that some of them looked or acted a bit differently. But sadly, some of the parents really took offence to it. It made me so angry that when I left work at the end of the school day, there would be parents telling their children not to play with the ones from the "retard" school and calling the children all sorts of names.

Eurgh it makes me feel sick just remembering it.

I'm so not looking forward to school.... I just know we're going to have problems... he's a tough little guy though, and doesn't take shit from his sister who picks on him.. SO I have a feeling he'll be slugging these kids in the face for making fun of him... and I might encourage it :ninja

 

[hart]

Oh Thorney, I can't imagine how frustrating this must be for you and him. Are there a lot of children with your son's condition? Is there some sort of support group on line you can contact. I would so want to talk with other parents with your son's conditon to vent.

Do children with your son's condition typically get better as they get older? I know with food allergies (I had a lot of them) I grew out of them as I got older?

 

[Thornless]

Oh Thorney, I can't imagine how frustrating this must be for you and him. Are there a lot of children with your son's condition? Is there some sort of support group on line you can contact. I would so want to talk with other parents with your son's conditon to vent.

Do children with your son's condition typically get better as they get older? I know with food allergies (I had a lot of them) I grew out of them as I got older?

I do not want to be in a support group... I vent to my husband, doctor, my family and friends... I do not feel like I would get anything from it. They may work for some parents, but the idea has never appealed to me. I'm happier doing research online and reading comments form them, I don't want to socialize with them though. Not my thing.

And yea, many kids suffer from sensitive skin and eczema... I had/have fair & sensitive skin... no food allergies known of, but I will break out from certain detergents, cleaning products, I have contact dermatitis (form of eczema)... heat & extreme cold also triggers break outs.

Each day, I learn more triggers for Michael. Just once, I'd like him to catch a break.

 

[hart]

Fair enuf. If live groups wouldn't be my thing either. Do the docs know if your son's condition is likely to get better as he ages?

 

[Darrell]

A good parent or person should not even make a point of pointing out any differences between people. It sets a bad example for their children..

Spot on. You are a good man, Claude. :clap

 

[rback33]

Spot on. You are a good man, Claude. :clap

Indeed.

 

[Thornless]

Fair enuf. If live groups wouldn't be my thing either. Do the docs know if your son's condition is likely to get better as he ages?

Will likely get better, and have random flair ups like myself... once we can isolate all his triggers, it'll be easier.

 

[hart]

I'm glad. Here's hoping when he does get to school he has great classmates, parents who aren't arses and breakthrus in treatments are forthcoming. :thumbup Sometimes when I get mad I try and have a dream....you know. Like go to sleep and purposely try and direct my dream. For instance, in a case of someone saying ignorant/asnine thing to my child I would be dreaming I would be walking with my child and somehow knowing someone was about to say something incredibly stupid and having a magic remote that renders them speechless. Then I would watch them clutch their throat and try and talk and not be able to utter a word.

I've directed such dreams and woken up from them smiling, even laughing and had my husband wake up beside me in puzzlement wondering why I am laughing in my sleep......

 

[Francis]

He has extremely sensitive skin, eczema, and a crap load of allergies (egg, milk, nuts, tree nuts, cats, dogs, mold, dust, pollen... possible sun allergy). We've been battling it since he was about 6mths old when he stopped breastfeeding. He used to be covered head to toe in a red, itchy rash... they gave him a cortisone shot and now just suffers from outbreaks... Atm his eyes are puffy, red, dry, watery... his mouth is red, dry skin keeps cracking as he laughs/cries/smiles cracking it more so it doesn't get a chance to heal properly... you try telling a 3 year old to stop laughing/talking/crying so the medicine he's on can work better.

He's on a crap load of medicine, and I break down in tears often because just when we get his skin under control.. something breaks his skin out again.... it's so frustrating, and often I feel like I'm failing as a mother to keep him healthy.... thankfully Amara has none of these problems & Michael is happy, he doesn't let it slow him down... and it helps my sanity.

Ohh sweetie.. So sorry to hear..

He is NOT alone..

I have been like him all my life.. People who have met me have seen my skin is extremely dry and this is why I was told to move from the East Coast of Canada to the West Coast where it is more tempered. While I grew up my hands would bleed and so would my feet from my eczema and my mouth and lips would always split open with blisters.. My allergies where extremely bad year round.. When i finally got tested they found I was allergic to Milk, Eggs, Tomatoes, pollen and Animals and so on. They told me allergies, eczema and asthma all go together for most people. The only one I did not seem to have was Nut / Tree Nut allergies.. I took allergy shots 3 times weekly for many years and had seemed to have broken the Milk issues and allergies had gone down but now again they asked me recently to STOP all Dairy products.

Well my son was born with all the same stuff, eczema, asthma, allergies to animals and pollen and molds and he has the nut allergies, deadly in 20 seconds, we have coped with it all.. I guess having a Dad that has it all has helped

Because we live in an area that is more conducive to keeping our skin not so bad we don't have as many problems but as soon as a bit of cold or extreme heat comes

But often times I will sit for minutes to hours putting cortisone cream on my son's skin to stop the itching.. I also keep our hair extremely short so it will dry faster and so we can apply cream in it easier.. Simple little things that can make life better.

As a parent who has this stuff as nasty as my son I will refuse for him to get shots.. Cortisone ( Kenelog ) is probably the most nasty stuff you can put into your body.. You should google the side effects of cortisone / kenelog.

This is why I am making sure both my daughter and son are well aware of what they take and I am on them as a hawk as far as doctors and medication.

Not sure what type of eczema your son has but mine and my son are

Atopic Eczema - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atopic_dermatitis

I feel for you and your son.. You and he are not alone..

Try putting some pure Vaseline where he has cracked skin.. Just the jelly with nothiong else in small quantities with no sent in it.. Let me know how that works out..

 

[porterjack]

Hey Thorny and Brujah

I am sorry you have to deal with the ignorance crap, i hope little Michael does indeed, as he grows older, develop a tolerance for the skins issues, i am no means an expert but I hear this can happen

best of life to all you beautiful people - btw first time i have ever seen any posts from either of you on this issue so that telles me you dont make an issue of it , moreover the "issue" is not Michaels skin but the crass personalities of people you encounter, and the fact that you dont raise that issue often (if ever) tells me you guys are great parents, keep on doing what you do

 

[Kyle B]

Will likely get better, and have random flair ups like myself... once we can isolate all his triggers, it'll be easier.

My mother suffered from eczema for years. It effected her hands and arms. She had to apply lotion religiously and would get small cuts on her fingers because the skin would get so irritated. Then when I was like ten it just disappeared and hasn't been back since. Weird how that works.

Best of luck to you and your son getting on top of it.

 

[Thornless]

Thank you everyone, the ones who spoke positively anyway, it means a lot to me.

He's going to a dermatologist in June, was the earliest to get an appointment, they told me to call often to see if anyone cancels...

 

[Dana]

Melissa check your PMs

 

[Jackass master]

As a parent who raised 2 handicap kids I know all too well what you are experiencing. If not for the fear of making my boys feel even more ostracized I would have knocked more than a few on their ass. Usually folks that are rude like that are also very insecure in themselves. Hang tough and know that you are not alone in your journey. Bill

 

[fuel1316]

i agree the ignorance of some people .. it can be down right shocking.

i was told by my daughters doctor to expect these sorts of things from the start. its helped me to expect some of the comment and looks we get but it certainly doesnt excuse them or make them right.

i get rude comments about what i feed my daughter and of course about her tube. ive had one person go so far as to write me an email about how im doing my daughter a disservice with the foods i feed her..

i guess what im saying is.. as shitty as it is.. nothing can really be done about it but educate the person or ignore them. i choose to educate when i get comments about how small she is and things but that doesnt make them easy to roll off your back :mad

sorry you have to deal with this kinda stuff

 

[Jezzebelle]

He has extremely sensitive skin, eczema, and a crap load of allergies (egg, milk, nuts, tree nuts, cats, dogs, mold, dust, pollen... possible sun allergy). We've been battling it since he was about 6mths old when he stopped breastfeeding. He used to be covered head to toe in a red, itchy rash... they gave him a cortisone shot and now just suffers from outbreaks... Atm his eyes are puffy, red, dry, watery... his mouth is red, dry skin keeps cracking as he laughs/cries/smiles cracking it more so it doesn't get a chance to heal properly... you try telling a 3 year old to stop laughing/talking/crying so the medicine he's on can work better.
.

Ugh, poor baby I'm so sorry to hear that. How frustrating for the both of you! I hope with time you can find the best way to control it.

I'm so not looking forward to school.... I just know we're going to have problems... he's a tough little guy though, and doesn't take shit from his sister who picks on him.. SO I have a feeling he'll be slugging these kids in the face for making fun of him... and I might encourage it :ninja

I'm sorry to say, I would just try and prepare yourself. My daughter is 4, and started school this year. She has a dead front tooth, and has come home at least 3 times this year balling upset about kids making fun of her for it. It was just the most heartbreaking thing to listen to. I mean what do you say??? "I'm sorry those little brats are such jackasses, honey!" No, I had to give her the whole "Some people just don't understand, and so they point out things that are different. You just have to ignore them honey."

BUT on the other hand... I'm totally convinced this experience has made her a stronger person. She'll tell anyone who asks now how she got her "dead tooth" and when I told her we could make an appointment to get it pulled, she said she didn't want to and she was liked it So, I hope even if kids are rotten like they can be to your baby, you can teach him that while you can't control what anyone else does or says; you can control how you react to it!

 

[Natasha]

For me, the issue isn't other kids...b/c kids are innocent and just don't know better. Adults have no excuse and THAT fucking pisses me off.