I have a question... Can you give me an answer?..

[Panacea]

I came to this forum pretty emotionally detached, because I'm quite over hysterics and psychos on the internet (I spent about four years involved with a forum that later split into another) just sort of looking to post to kill time and it's served that barren purpose. To echo Willow's point: if I were here looking for connections or acceptance or even interaction I would have left a while ago lol...

With the notable exception of PJ, he's been friendly!

I do feel for people who get that sense of not belonging, because I know I would feel the same if I weren't just running on autopilot, typing just to hear the keys and get out some of the random thoughts I have now and then

 

[retro]

I came to this forum pretty emotionally detached, because I'm quite over hysterics and psychos on the internet (I spent about four years involved with a forum that later split into another) just sort of looking to post to kill time and it's served that barren purpose. To echo Willow's point: if I were here looking for connections or acceptance or even interaction I would have left a while ago lol...

With the notable exception of PJ, he's been friendly!

I do feel for people who get that sense of not belonging, because I know I would feel the same if I weren't just running on autopilot, typing just to hear the keys and get out some of the random thoughts I have now and then

It's not my fault that you're a Wings fan, and therefore went on my shitlist right after you started posting! In all seriousness though, I've enjoyed your sports posting aside from the previously mentioned being a Wings fan.

 

[itsmeJonB]

Making friends on the internet is far easier in person, but to come into a forum with the mentality "everyone must love me" is not realistic

 

[AUDRAA]

Willow Im not on as much as I should be anymore due to circumstances beyond my control which I wont get into right now but I have found some of your posts very insightful and enjoy you as a member from what Ive seen. Please continue posting and dont let a few bad eggs spoil it for you, we are glad to have you here! Things will get better it goes in cycles around here. I applaud you for making this thread, it takes guts when you are feeling uncomfortable with a situation to begin with.

 

[Willow]

... To echo Willow's point: if I were here looking for connections or acceptance or even interaction I would have left a while ago lol...

... I do feel for people who get that sense of not belonging, because I know I would feel the same...

:thumbup Thank you for putting a little perspective to my OP with your reply..

 

[HK]

I do think it's to be expected to take a while to fit in somewhere new, but it can be difficult to put that in perspective when you can see other members being far more friendly and pally with each other than they are with you.

Also.... not everyone is going to fit in at all. Some people will do terribly on one forum, then go elsewhere and do amazing. And vice versa. This forum isn't necessarily for everyone, even people who aren't trolls or idiots

All I'm trying to say is, it's unrealistic to expect instant friendships and a huge happy family that suits every individual. Some people get lucky and do make those connections but there are still only a couple of people here that I'd really consider friendly, let alone friends, and the responses here tell a similar story - none of us are as connected and popular as you might think.

 

[Siphorous]

none of us are as connected and popular as you might think.

I'm gonna tell V you said that about her. *runs to tattle*

 

[Willow]

Excuse me while I take a very deep breath and relax... because I don't want to say something to offend you Wyndex, but I do feel the need to say a few words...

I don't like anybody on this site so don't feel too bad

I thought you were just joking with this comment.. so I repped you, and replied with something I tougth would be funny..

Now you come back and post this...

... Making friends on the internet is far easier in person...

:eek... :confused .... Are you for real??..

....and the next part of your comment...
​

... but to come into a forum with the mentality "everyone must love me" is not realistic

Have you even bothered to read the whole thread?.. or any of my replies to other members?..
I DO NOT have the "mentality" to expect love from everyone!..

In case you have not read the thread, I'm quoting myself from a few of my replies on this thread... these are just small snippets, you can go back if you want and read the complete replies:

...hopefully this thread will be the starting point to better communication and understanding between all the members and will help bring this forum back to where it was before..

... so I wrote this thread not only to find answers for myself, but maybe to help all the new members that register, write a few posts... and then leave...

... Eventually, reading this forum became my solace in the middle of dealing with so many sad stories and suffering ...

... I really liked this place and loved the camaraderie I saw here, so I finally decided to register and start posting...
Unfortunately, I was sidelined by health problems shortly after that...

... When I decided to return here, I saw many changes.. and some of them were not for the best.. Many members have left or stopped posting.. others have been banned..

... To me, a forum is like a family.. we tend to have disagreements, but we resolve them by talking with ~not to ~ each other..

... you can read post #41 of this thread to see what prompted me to write it..

...With me, what you see is what you get.. I have my principles, and I'm not concerned about what people think of me.. At my age, that is not important anymore.. I've earned every single one of my white hairs the hard way... by being nice and respectful to everyone...

...I started this thread not only to get answers for myself, but because of the members I see leaving after just a few posts.

...I've been around forums long enough to know that I should never ignore other members or replies to my threads......
I started this thread because I was seeing members registering here, posting a few times and then leaving, and thought I could get some answers to my question, not only for my sake, but to see if I could open some eyes to the fact that many people feel invisible in forums as big as this...

Thank you Natasha..
...Although I'm not part of the staff here, I guess I wrote this thread with my mod hat on..
You know what they say.... "Once a Mod... Always a Mod"...

I highlighted that part of your post, because I feel the same way.

I don't think many people realize that when someone registers in a new forum, especially a large one, they feel very intimidated and it is very hard for them to take that first step to start posting their introduction..
If they don't feel welcome after that first post, most won't even bother posting a second time..

....Here it is, in a nutshell, my take on one of the problems I see here..

 

[AUFred]

Like you, English is my second language, and I had problems trying to communicate at one time..
Please don't put yourself down because your English is not perfect.. I understand everything you write.. and I like you just the way you are!..

English is my first language and I butcher it far more often than I would like to admit. Those who are using English as a second or third or later language deserve a certain amount of leaveway. I often re-read posts a few times to get their meaning. I probably should proofread myself more often.

 

[HK]

I think the point Wyndex was making, which I agree with, is that although it's nice to make friends online, it's harder to do than in real life - come on, it's far easier to ignore a post after all, than to ignore someone standing next to you - and furthermore, we can't expect to all do well in every social environment online.

I know for a fact that there are forums where I don't want to be the sort of person who would fit in! So while I try to welcome new people and be nice and not make sarcastic to comments to those that are less than on the ball if I can help it, I'm also not expecting half of them to stick around. Because this is just not for everyone, even if they want it to be.

I appreciate what you're trying to do with this thread Willow, you've got good intentions. But if any noobs are reading this, I think they should be aware that, especially based on some of the responses here, having a blue name or a zillion posts doesn't mean you're part of some kind of close-knit friendly family that shuns all but the most persistent. There isn't some amazing club you can break into if you have the right connections. It's just lots of individuals, some who get along better than others, talking to each other about things they have in common. If you don't fit in here - so what? You'll fit in somewhere else.

 

[itsmeJonB]

I wasn't referring to you, I said "anybody". I think its nice to be friendly, but I don't agree with or converse with everybody on this site. And at the same time I don't ignore anyone either, reading a thread and not posting in it is not the equivalent of ignoring someone, sometimes some people just don't have a reply or the topic is uninteresting to them

 

[Natasha]

I came to this forum pretty emotionally detached, because I'm quite over hysterics and psychos on the internet (I spent about four years involved with a forum that later split into another) just sort of looking to post to kill time and it's served that barren purpose. To echo Willow's point: if I were here looking for connections or acceptance or even interaction I would have left a while ago lol...

With the notable exception of PJ, he's been friendly!

I do feel for people who get that sense of not belonging, because I know I would feel the same if I weren't just running on autopilot, typing just to hear the keys and get out some of the random thoughts I have now and then

Well hell...I thought I had been pretty friendly (well, when I've BEEN here, that is).

 

[freakofnature]

I still don't get what the big deal is. :dunno

 

[Panacea]

Well hell...I thought I had been pretty friendly (well, when I've BEEN here, that is).

You were! :nod:
I still appreciate that thread lol

 

[Panacea]

It's not my fault that you're a Wings fan, and therefore went on my shitlist right after you started posting! In all seriousness though, I've enjoyed your sports posting aside from the previously mentioned being a Wings fan.

Hey, if I haven't landed on someone's shitlist fairly quickly for some reason, I must not have said much yet lol.

 

[Niamh]

This place is definitely less friendly to newer members than other forums I've been on (in general, not everyone obviously) I still consider myself a "newbie" as I haven't really gotten very friendly with anyone, though it doesn't bother me tbh. PJBleek, SexySadie and kate88 deserve honourable mentions for being welcoming and friendly members though!

 

[Siphorous]

*lets loose the attack dogs*

 

[Pumpkin]

PJBleek, SexySadie and kate88 deserve honourable mentions for being welcoming and friendly members though!

Heh, you were here before me so I think that makes you the welcoming and friendly member

I'm with you about PJBleek! He has been lovely!

 

[Niamh]

Heh, you were here before me so I think that makes you the welcoming and friendly member

I'm with you about PJBleek! He has been lovely!

Yeah, I joined in March 2010 but I didn't start posting more regularly till a couple of months ago