I think it is common for many people to have been betrayed by their friends whether secretly or overtly. They're either fake, jealous, making fun of you, backstabbing you, stealing your ideas and taking credit for them, stealing from you, they sleep with your partner behind your back, etc.. and the list goes on. So I'm wondering if any of you in here has already been betrayed by a close friend? How did you find out about it if it was an underhanded betrayal? What did that person do and how did you deal with it? Are you able to forgive that person and you managed to stay friends with them again, or you have cut ties with them and maybe you're even plotting revenge? Feel free to share your experiences.
Have You Been Betrayed By A Friend?
- Thread starter sidney
- Start date
Users who are viewing this thread
-
52Replies
-
1KViews
-
19Participant count
-
-
-
-
-
-
- ... and 14 more.
Participants list -
Mockingbird
New Member
Yes- been there done that- I had a friend from school that would tell everyone how we were best friends. We hung out together and I really did buy that she was a close friend. Then I got married, and I did not know that anything was up until I became pregnant with my first child. All the time she was around acting like a great friend she was actually sleeping with the now ex husband.
I figured it out when I found a gold necklace in my bed sheets, shortly after she said she lost one and I put it together. It wasn't hard to catch them after that and the ex finally confessed. I never sought revenge, I just cut both of them out of my life.
I figured it out when I found a gold necklace in my bed sheets, shortly after she said she lost one and I put it together. It wasn't hard to catch them after that and the ex finally confessed. I never sought revenge, I just cut both of them out of my life.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that Mockingbird, that's the ultimate betrayal. I hope you have better people in your life now.
A couple of years ago, I found out that one friend was telling another that I'd called her fat, ugly and a whole load more besides. I never really found out why she did this but I called her out about it in front of everyone in the pub one evening. Her response was that she was wondering if I'd said anything about her to this other friend! Needless to say, I don't have anything to do with her now.
A couple of years ago, I found out that one friend was telling another that I'd called her fat, ugly and a whole load more besides. I never really found out why she did this but I called her out about it in front of everyone in the pub one evening. Her response was that she was wondering if I'd said anything about her to this other friend! Needless to say, I don't have anything to do with her now.
I did have a person in my life who at one point I considered a really close friend. We've known each other for over 10 years, easily. We shared a lot about each other and had a blast doing weird stuff over the weekends and barbecues.
But as time goes by there were a few things about him that I saw was a bit odd. Most people that we had ties with would ask me questions about his past and things never really matched up. He would tell me one thing and others would tell me a different variation. I kind of blew it off because he was still a cool guy and it might have been a minor oversight.
Little things started to add up, and eventually his lies caught up with him. You see, he had tampered with the time clocks at his job and his worked hours came into question. Eventually, human resources had called him in to question him as they did a full background check as to the information he submitted on his application for work. Sure enough, they called his previous employers and colleges, and he never existed as far as those two entities were concerned. He fabricated everything about himself. His previous life, his education, hell.......he could of been a serial killer on the run for all we knew.
Years have gone by and he has come in and out of my life but I always keep him at arms length. One by one people close to me was telling me that he was asking for short term loans and these people was asking me if he was trust worthy. My guess is he was using me as a character witness just so he can get loans from my childhood friends. That dirty rat!!!
Of course I felt betrayed and used. He was a classic sociopath. He did everything in his power to manipulate others to get what he wanted in life. He was a very disturbed individual, and could never be trusted.
I can't help the way I was raised. I was taught to look for the good in everyone. But in this case the goodness was fabricated for selfish, self serving reasons. Because of him, I changed the way I looked at new friends and acquaintances. Skepticism overrides my previous thoughts.
But as time goes by there were a few things about him that I saw was a bit odd. Most people that we had ties with would ask me questions about his past and things never really matched up. He would tell me one thing and others would tell me a different variation. I kind of blew it off because he was still a cool guy and it might have been a minor oversight.
Little things started to add up, and eventually his lies caught up with him. You see, he had tampered with the time clocks at his job and his worked hours came into question. Eventually, human resources had called him in to question him as they did a full background check as to the information he submitted on his application for work. Sure enough, they called his previous employers and colleges, and he never existed as far as those two entities were concerned. He fabricated everything about himself. His previous life, his education, hell.......he could of been a serial killer on the run for all we knew.
Years have gone by and he has come in and out of my life but I always keep him at arms length. One by one people close to me was telling me that he was asking for short term loans and these people was asking me if he was trust worthy. My guess is he was using me as a character witness just so he can get loans from my childhood friends. That dirty rat!!!
Of course I felt betrayed and used. He was a classic sociopath. He did everything in his power to manipulate others to get what he wanted in life. He was a very disturbed individual, and could never be trusted.
I can't help the way I was raised. I was taught to look for the good in everyone. But in this case the goodness was fabricated for selfish, self serving reasons. Because of him, I changed the way I looked at new friends and acquaintances. Skepticism overrides my previous thoughts.
@Mockingbird, That is such a terrible betrayal! Of all the people in the world, your former best friend seduced and slept with your husband! Or was it the other way around? Did your ex and your ex-friend end up together when you divorced him?
@missbishi, That same situation has happened to a friend of mine too. Was that person trying to make you lose all of your friends because she wants to get revenge at you or for some reason she only knows? Ha, at least she didn't deny what she did, some people still lie blatantly when confronted!
@joshposh, How thick of him to ask all of your childhood friends for a loan. If he did a complete change of identity, then he is indeed a shady character to be avoided. He must be criminal or a swindler for all we know. That's why it is an advantage if you have common friends with a stranger who happens to befriend you. You'll never know if they are what they say they are, since lies can be easily told.
@missbishi, That same situation has happened to a friend of mine too. Was that person trying to make you lose all of your friends because she wants to get revenge at you or for some reason she only knows? Ha, at least she didn't deny what she did, some people still lie blatantly when confronted!
@joshposh, How thick of him to ask all of your childhood friends for a loan. If he did a complete change of identity, then he is indeed a shady character to be avoided. He must be criminal or a swindler for all we know. That's why it is an advantage if you have common friends with a stranger who happens to befriend you. You'll never know if they are what they say they are, since lies can be easily told.
It is what it is. I can't change it nor do I want to revisit it. It's a part of my past that happened and it taught me a valuable lesson. I now keep everyone that I meet at arms length. I keep those that are a positive influence in my life within a closed circle. Those that want in, have to prove it. I also question everything now and not assume the best out of anyone.
HELLOnamesdana
New Member
Absolutely. Unfortunately for me all of the friends that I ever had in junior high and high school all betrayed me at one point or another. Somehow I knew that it was happening the whole time we were friends, and I knew that they were using me and making fun of me all of the time, but I knew at the same time that having these friends even if they were mean and they weren't real friends was much better than being by myself all of the time and not having any friends at all.
@joshposh, I can relate to what you said. I also do not assume too soon nowadays that a person is really "nice" after a few months or a year of knowing him, because you can't read their mind. You don't know what they are capable of doing behind your back or overtly. At least, that former friend of yours did not steal from you and just manipulated you.
@HELLOnamesdana, I think that is quite common in high school and grade school, and even in college where people were still immature. I recall that in my group, we do like each other's company, but the backstabbing seems normal even if they treat you nicely upfront. It's weird, but I know you can relate, lol. As people mature, they start to realize that it was kinda mean, lol. But back then, criticizing or making fun of the other seems so normal.
@HELLOnamesdana, I think that is quite common in high school and grade school, and even in college where people were still immature. I recall that in my group, we do like each other's company, but the backstabbing seems normal even if they treat you nicely upfront. It's weird, but I know you can relate, lol. As people mature, they start to realize that it was kinda mean, lol. But back then, criticizing or making fun of the other seems so normal.
Recently I was betrayed by a friend at church who ranted and swore left and right.
He kept complaining about how the minister is spending money renovating the church.
He was a head usher along with maintenance but fired due to his constant ranting.
Making a long story short he sorted me out with the church management and stopped speaking after years of friendship and helping him when needed.
I'm not hurt but somewhat disappointed.
Doesn't make sense throwing away over 45 years of ushering and other services and yet he called me dummy due to the fact he didn't like what was going on.
This all happened at the end of August 2014.
Do I miss his friendship ?
It was never there.
He kept complaining about how the minister is spending money renovating the church.
He was a head usher along with maintenance but fired due to his constant ranting.
Making a long story short he sorted me out with the church management and stopped speaking after years of friendship and helping him when needed.
I'm not hurt but somewhat disappointed.
Doesn't make sense throwing away over 45 years of ushering and other services and yet he called me dummy due to the fact he didn't like what was going on.
This all happened at the end of August 2014.
Do I miss his friendship ?
It was never there.
Not up to my knowledge, but some of these stories.. are brutal.
@Ash1280 - Sounds like a bitchy 13 year old. I would fire him to if he was ranting like that.
@HELLOnamesdana - The good ol bully. Normally me and my best friends would make fun of each other out of jokes and never really took it into offense. Now... where is the Austin Powers meme?
@joshposh - Michael Myers confirmed???
@Mockingbird - Cut off his balls.
@missbishi - Wow.. some people I know have done that before.
@Ash1280 - Sounds like a bitchy 13 year old. I would fire him to if he was ranting like that.
@HELLOnamesdana - The good ol bully. Normally me and my best friends would make fun of each other out of jokes and never really took it into offense. Now... where is the Austin Powers meme?
@joshposh - Michael Myers confirmed???
@Mockingbird - Cut off his balls.
@missbishi - Wow.. some people I know have done that before.
A close companion betraying you may be a sad and tough event for you to cope with. It can cause hurt, anger, and distrust, and it may even impair your capacity to develop close connections in the future. It's critical to give yourself time to digest your feelings and ideas before deciding how to proceed.
Whether the betrayal was dishonest or covert, you may have learned about it through other sources or by witnessing suspicious behavior. It's critical to address the buddy and try to express the problem clearly and honestly. You may opt to forgive and keep the friendship based on the degree of the betrayal and the friend's desire to accept blame and make apologies.
Whether the betrayal was dishonest or covert, you may have learned about it through other sources or by witnessing suspicious behavior. It's critical to address the buddy and try to express the problem clearly and honestly. You may opt to forgive and keep the friendship based on the degree of the betrayal and the friend's desire to accept blame and make apologies.
Yes let us not trust anyone especially to someone we love. We don't know their real feelings we might be trapped.
Imran Noori
Member
I know that some people have been betrayed by their close friends but I think everyone should think before choosing a friend because today trusting people is something very difficult, you don't know when and who will betray you, so be careful.
Yes i have been betrayed by friends before, times without number. There was a time i vowed to not care anymore about anyone, in that way i would not have to feel hurt but in the end i came to realize that changing who i am simply because someone hurt me is totally wrong.
Well as it is right now I have not been betrayed by any of my friends at all and I do not wish for any of my friend to betray me. The feeling of having a friend that has betrayed you before something that is not easy to handle at all and will.make one to become very insecure with all their doings.
This is actually very bad. That is why I hardly trust any friend because most of them will pretend as if they love you not knowing that they are killing you behind your back.
78,864Threads
2,185,192Messages
4,953Members