Go Ahead: Ask me ANYTHING!!!

[RedRyder]

I found a wonderful site to get some question ideas for you Lumpy. These should make you use your noggin! I wish I could take credit for them, but that would be dishonest.

Here's the first one:


If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

 

[lumpenstein]

Trust me you aren't

Who the fuck asked you?

 

[RedRyder]

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

 

[RedRyder]

If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him?

 

[RedRyder]

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

 

[RedRyder]

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

 

[RedRyder]

If Superglue is so good why doesn't it stick to the inside of the tube?

 

[RedRyder]

If women ran the Pentagon, would missiles and submarines be shaped differently?

 

[RedRyder]

If the "black box" survives every plane crash, why not make the entire plane out of that stuff?

 

[RedRyder]

If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

 

[RedRyder]

There are 24 hours in a day, and 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

 

[lumpenstein]

How would you begin to solve world peace?

You don't "solve" world peace. Either you ignore the concept or work towards it.

To "achieve" more peace in the world I would focus on one aspect of human conflict and try to eliminate it.

I would work to either reduce or eliminate both arms proliferation and interference in third world nations. Let me explain. Years two tribes would war by throwing sticks and stones at each other. A few warriors would be killed and sometimes an entire tribe would be wiped out. Those not killed would be absorbed into the victorious tribe, strengthening it and infusing it with new blood.

Now, any self-appointed only has to cosy up to a world power and those tribes suddenly commit unspeakable genocide. Instead of a few dozen dead it is now hundreds of thousands.

 

[lumpenstein]

What is your greatest fear?

Either Melissa or Liam or both being hurt, or worse.

 

[RedRyder]

Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?

 

[lumpenstein]

Can you snow ski?

No! strap sticks onto my feet and jump off the side of a mountain??? :eek

 

[RedRyder]

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

 

[RedRyder]

Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they know you don't have?

 

[lumpenstein]

What is one of the hardest things you have ever done in your life so far?

Sit back and watch my dad rot away and not being able to do a damn thing about it, then having smug asses tell me there is nothing wrong with the tobacco industry because it is just "free enterprise".

 

[RedRyder]

Okay.... I'll give you some time to catch up.

Besides.... I'm gonna go have some sex now... and I'll be a little while...

 

[lumpenstein]

Why are sports such a fascination?

Sports speak of the struggle to succeed, to defeat rather than be defeated. It is a metaphor for Darwinism.