Go Ahead: Ask me ANYTHING!!!

[lumpenstein]

I found a wonderful site to get some question ideas for you Lumpy. These should make you use your noggin! I wish I could take credit for them, but that would be dishonest.

Here's the first one:


If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

He's dead.

 

[lumpenstein]

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

Any building needs to be securable in case of emergency or renovation or any special circumstance.

 

[lumpenstein]

If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him?

No...

 

[lumpenstein]

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Temperature is a measure of moleculer motion. First we must clarify on what temperature scale the Zero is on. Any mathematical computations concerning temperatures must be done on the Absolute, or Kelvin scale.

Example: if it is 10 degrees C today and 20 degrees C tomorrow it is not twice as warm. Your zero is a good logic trap. So is -1!

 

[lumpenstein]

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

Illogical. The line of reasoning assumes a false premise. Unask the question.

 

[lumpenstein]

If Superglue is so good why doesn't it stick to the inside of the tube?

If I am correct it needs air to harden.

 

[lumpenstein]

If women ran the Pentagon, would missiles and submarines be shaped differently?

No. They are based on aerodynamic design, not emotional design.

 

[lumpenstein]

If the "black box" survives every plane crash, why not make the entire plane out of that stuff?

It would be overly massive and aerodynamically unstable. It would be a giant brick.

 

[lumpenstein]

If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

It creates it own space. Space isn't the absence of something. Space is defined by surrounding matter.

 

[Alien Allen]

You don't "solve" world peace. Either you ignore the concept or work towards it.

To "achieve" more peace in the world I would focus on one aspect of human conflict and try to eliminate it.

I would work to either reduce or eliminate both arms proliferation and interference in third world nations. Let me explain. Years two tribes would war by throwing sticks and stones at each other. A few warriors would be killed and sometimes an entire tribe would be wiped out. Those not killed would be absorbed into the victorious tribe, strengthening it and infusing it with new blood.

Now, any self-appointed only has to cosy up to a world power and those tribes suddenly commit unspeakable genocide. Instead of a few dozen dead it is now hundreds of thousands.

not only is he a commie but he has a mix of hippie thrown in too..

 

[Alien Allen]

Hey Red you are slipping. He is missing a ton of questions. What is up with that shit

 

[lumpenstein]

There are 24 hours in a day, and 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

Not at all.

24 is two dozen. 24 was a common number derived from 360. It was before decimals when fractions were common. 360 has many factors and 24 is one of them.

 

[lumpenstein]

Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?

It's a Pavlovian response.

 

[lumpenstein]

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

Because the English language doesn't have such a strict set of usage rules.

 

[lumpenstein]

Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they know you don't have?

You are charged against money you will have in the future. Non sufficient funds refers only to that account. Other sources are available.

 

[lumpenstein]

Okay.... I'll give you some time to catch up.

Besides.... I'm gonna go have some sex now... and I'll be a little while...

ics:

 

[lumpenstein]

not only is he a commie but he has a mix of hippie thrown in too..

Who the fuck asked you?

By the way, Merry Christmas!

 

[Alien Allen]

Who the fuck asked you?

By the way, Merry Christmas!

This is not the fuck thread dipstick

And a Merry Christmas to you too

How long is your................. cue stick?? :eek
You do play pool don't you

That was a Red question in her absence.

 

[lumpenstein]

This is not the fuck thread dipstick

And a Merry Christmas to you too

How long is your................. cue stick?? :eek
You do play pool don't you

That was a Red question in her absence.

I refuse to talk about my cue stick with another man! :eek

 

[Ashl33]

what shade would work best with my skin tone?


& when i get my period.....should i use pads or tampons ?