fairwell and following seas

[COOL_BREEZE2]

Food for thought:

Communicating
Jane Goodall On Why Words Hurt

Jane Goodall is a renowned primatologist best known for conducting a 40-year study of chimpanzee social and family life at Gombe Stream in Tanzania. She is the founder of the Jane Goodall Institute, a leading organization in the effort to protect chimpanzees and their habitats.

I think we’re still in a muddle with our language, because once you get words and a spoken language it gets harder to communicate.

Chimps are very quick to have a sudden fight or aggressive episode, but they’re equally as good at reconciliation. They make an appeasing gesture--reaching out a hand, crouching, giving little cries of fear or sadness. Then, very often, the aggressor will reach out and pat or reassure--offer an embrace or something like that--and the victim relaxes, and it is over.

When humans get these sudden outbursts of anger, we add words to the mix. And as you’ve probably experienced, it is much harder to forget a word than it is a slap. Words can be said in bitterness and anger, and often there seems to be an element of truth in the nastiness. And words don’t go away, they just echo around. So even if you can make up, the words come back.

-- Excerpted from an interview with David M. Ewalt on Sept. 17, 2005.

_______________
Perhaps we can learn something from chimps.
Tho, please be mindful of what you say and how you say it. Words are very powerful things and can often cut like a dagger.

 

[Elle]

What a freaking awesome post! ^

 

[Kat]

enjoy...whatever you do chris. Enjoy your life. bye

 

[Pudding Time]

What a freaking awesome post! ^

Yeah but Chimps don't get shit faced.

 

[Veronica]

confused!

NOt sure why your leaving.. But, Ill do as you ask. Im NOT banning your account though.

 

[Breath]

Chris,
I understand to a degree what your current feelings are. I know you were there for me when I was going through a similar sentiment.

This whole infraction/warning system is not even effective anymore. It appears to be given randomly; it hurts people; it's not doled out equally. I'd seriously like to see the Admin do away with it altogether. In a forum of mainly adults, it's highly insulting to have to be given a hand slap and it's highly stressful to have to go to the mod room and decide who's ego to bash in today. Quite frankly, the idea of ya'll "gossiping" about the bad people is kind of juvenile and high school. I am flat out announcing that the system has to go. The Admin can certainly handle banning the spammers AND talking to those who might need a reminder of what the rules are. The mods should not have that authority. As good as the mods have been, it's still hard for everyone to remain biased. Tim and V, I know you know about a certain communication I received from a mod that was totally out of line. It all comes down to we are human and people can't put their personal feelings aside every time. Let's take the stress off your forum and do away with this ridiculous system of "punishment". It doesn't work. It's archaic. It's degrading.

Chris, I respectfully ask you to stick around. Stay away for a few days and cool your jets, if you need to. You are valuable, no matter if your opinions agree with some of the others or not. There's room for everyone.

I do wish you well as you retire from the military. The respect I have for your service and for you as an individual is astronomical.

 

[Veronica]

I will not do away with the infraction system. It actually helps more than you know. IM sorry that you and peter were given one, but they were both done with other mods agreements.

Its just the damn internet!!!

Sorry- Im getting alittle upset at this pettiness! This is ridiculous!

 

[Breath]

Sorry- Im getting alittle upset at this pettiness! This is ridiculous!

How can you call it ridiculous when some VERY long term members have become so affected that they leave. If I left, it'd be no big deal, I'm a drop in the member bucket. But Veronica...you have TWO very established members that are both not doing well to the point of leaving. I didn't say to do away with the system. I said to put it ONLY in the hands of the Admin. Allowing mods to have that much authority is causing a lot of hurt feelings. Look at it and you'll see. I know you are in law enforcement. And maybe the idea of making "deputies" do the law enforcement seems like the right thing. But it is not working. It is causing so much heartache among the members who truly love this forum you sponsor. Take the responsibility of the law enforcement upon yourself and Tim, where it belongs.

 

[Veronica]

They are both leaving because of each other.....Its stupid

 

[silentbob]

opcorn2:opcorn2:opcorn2:opcorn2:opcorn2:opcorn2:opcorn2:

 

[Mrs Behavin]

Chris!!!!!! Please dont leave!

When I joined here, you were the very 1st person to make me feel at home and I will never forget that! I have always enjoyed talking to you, even though we havent done much of that lately like we use to.
Your breaking my heart I know we all had different views on the whole "Peter" ordeal but that doesnt change how I feel about you as a person. You are a super awesome guy who has a big heart.
Maybe take a few days off and then come back? Pretty please? I'd love nothing more than to see you come back.

 

[AUDRAA]

Chris,
I understand to a degree what your current feelings are. I know you were there for me when I was going through a similar sentiment.

This whole infraction/warning system is not even effective anymore. It appears to be given randomly; it hurts people; it's not doled out equally. I'd seriously like to see the Admin do away with it altogether. In a forum of mainly adults, it's highly insulting to have to be given a hand slap and it's highly stressful to have to go to the mod room and decide who's ego to bash in today. Quite frankly, the idea of ya'll "gossiping" about the bad people is kind of juvenile and high school. I am flat out announcing that the system has to go. The Admin can certainly handle banning the spammers AND talking to those who might need a reminder of what the rules are. The mods should not have that authority. As good as the mods have been, it's still hard for everyone to remain biased. Tim and V, I know you know about a certain communication I received from a mod that was totally out of line. It all comes down to we are human and people can't put their personal feelings aside every time. Let's take the stress off your forum and do away with this ridiculous system of "punishment". It doesn't work. It's archaic. It's degrading.

Chris, I respectfully ask you to stick around. Stay away for a few days and cool your jets, if you need to. You are valuable, no matter if your opinions agree with some of the others or not. There's room for everyone.

I do wish you well as you retire from the military. The respect I have for your service and for you as an individual is astronomical.

first of all infractions are given as fairly as we can we are only human also but if there is an infraction given its something that is agreed upon by all the mods as being appropriate at the time or its reversed I think you know this having first hand dealt with it. Secondly how do you know what happens in the mod room? youve never been in there, we dont all collectivly sit around and bash on people here. Thats a statement that is way out of line and uncalled for. We modrators are here to help V and Tim because they cant be on all the time, if all of that was left to them they would never get anything else done so thats jsut silly to even suggest getting rid of moderators. All the moderators here do the best they can and Im sorry if you disagree but Im pretty sure general concensus is that way also and this whole arguement is jsut ridiculous. I think everyone needs to just step back and chill out a little bit.

 

[Veronica]

How can you call it ridiculous when some VERY long term members have become so affected that they leave. If I left, it'd be no big deal, I'm a drop in the member bucket. But Veronica...you have TWO very established members that are both not doing well to the point of leaving. I didn't say to do away with the system. I said to put it ONLY in the hands of the Admin. Allowing mods to have that much authority is causing a lot of hurt feelings. Look at it and you'll see. I know you are in law enforcement. And maybe the idea of making "deputies" do the law enforcement seems like the right thing. But it is not working. It is causing so much heartache among the members who truly love this forum you sponsor. Take the responsibility of the law enforcement upon yourself and Tim, where it belongs.

I dont make my mods do everything... I do ALOT of the work too.... Tim and I do alot of the banning and infraction! One thing I do is ask the mods to help out.. that is what they are there for!

 

[AUDRAA]

How can you call it ridiculous when some VERY long term members have become so affected that they leave. If I left, it'd be no big deal, I'm a drop in the member bucket. But Veronica...you have TWO very established members that are both not doing well to the point of leaving. I didn't say to do away with the system. I said to put it ONLY in the hands of the Admin. Allowing mods to have that much authority is causing a lot of hurt feelings. Look at it and you'll see. I know you are in law enforcement. And maybe the idea of making "deputies" do the law enforcement seems like the right thing. But it is not working. It is causing so much heartache among the members who truly love this forum you sponsor. Take the responsibility of the law enforcement upon yourself and Tim, where it belongs.

Are you so sure that Admin didnt agree with the infraction? Feelings were going to be hurt either way and the choice to leave I think was going to be something that was an either or thing.

 

[Breath]

My nickel's worth is done. Apparently, the upper powers don't care what the majority of the members think about this ridiculous infraction/warning system. I'd say to make a poll out of it, but knowing that ya'll can see who voted what would make people not vote for fear of retribution. Nah'mean?

There are far better and more civilized ways to handle "problems". The infracted/warned individual doesn't even get their day in court. And don't give me the skewed version of the infamous mod room. With as much gossip and trash-talking that occurs on the forum and in PM, we all have "heard" that it's not all nicey-nice in there when ya'll gossip. High school. I hope ya'll enjoy it. Apparently Chris has had it, since he's leaving. Even the Super Mod has said enough is enough.
So bringing this topic back on topic...good luck Chris and I hope your shoulder heals up.

P.S. I am now being repped for these opinions. Listen to the people.

 

[Dana]

opcorn2:opcorn2:opcorn2:opcorn2:opcorn2:opcorn2:opcorn2:

:homo:

 

[Ria]

There is a need for mods.
Unfortunately, at times, through not being aware of certain rules to 'communicate' with members over issues arising in threads, minor genuine mistakes happen - mods are human too, especially when new to it and having to learn the ropes!
Once we are clear of when we are to step in and when not to, there is no problem.
There are always other sites with no mods if people are not happy with a mod run forum.

 

[Veronica]

Breath.. You are killing me right now..

YOU are the only one with a problem about the infractions! If we didnt have those- we would have to BAN everyone that acted a fool. Would you rather that.. Would you of rathered being banned for what you did? Secondly, its not up to you!

 

[AUDRAA]

My nickel's worth is done. Apparently, the upper powers don't care what the majority of the members think about this ridiculous infraction/warning system. I'd say to make a poll out of it, but knowing that ya'll can see who voted what would make people not vote for fear of retribution. Nah'mean?

There are far better and more civilized ways to handle "problems". The infracted/warned individual doesn't even get their day in court. And don't give me the skewed version of the infamous mod room. With as much gossip and trash-talking that occurs on the forum and in PM, we all have "heard" that it's not all nicey-nice in there when ya'll gossip. High school. I hope ya'll enjoy it. Apparently Chris has had it, since he's leaving. Even the Super Mod has said enough is enough.
So bringing this topic back on topic...good luck Chris and I hope your shoulder heals up.

P.S. I am now being repped for these opinions. Listen to the people.

youve heard? thats funny ever play the game telephone Breath??

 

[Elle]

I agree with you on many points, Breath. I also agree with many other's views.

I don't anyone can say that one person's actions/views on a forum are the "right" way. Everyone's "right way" view varies.