Facebook after life

HK said:
I don't think anyone except those with an actual delusional problem really expect some sort of answer back. Like someone else said about visiting a grave, many people talk to their dead loved ones. It doesn't mean they actually seriously expect a response.
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Niamh said:
Of course she's not expecting an answer if he's dead! A mother will never fully get over the death of her child anyway and I really can't see the harm in her writing to him on FB or where ever if it helps her in some way
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Yup, I agree :D:thumbup
 
It's less about the mum and more about the other people.

The mother is not expecting a response, she is taking about her grief and how much she misses him. Not asking him questions and wanting a response.

Like I said, it is more about the other people. People who would not make the effort to go to the grave but speak about how much they miss said person and various other things. Its weird, to me.
 
kate88 said:
I do agree that it is a way of coping for some people, but I just find it almost a little fake.

Obviously not from the mother, but some comments from other people really appear to me as simply being there so they can be 'apart' of the tragedy. Which just makes it all a little sick.

I dunno, I just think after a certain period of time itd be better to close the page down
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Of course, I agree that there would be a certain point in time when she needs to close down that page. Until then whatever her pace is in recovering, no one has the right to judge her on how she copes, just my opinion of course. I think she needs to be respected of the pace she takes and if it helps her then good than her ending up in a mental institution or commit suicide for that matter ;)

Maldoror said:
Because it enables the mother to live in denial, in delusion. She cannot cope with the loss and overcome it (to a certain extent) and move on as long as she's speaking to him as if he's still alive.
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Without all the full details of how she's coping, no one can really tell and gauge her coping level thru that Fb page. That FB page is just a part and parcel of what her life is and her ways are of coping on a daily basis.....so no one can really say she's in denial or delusional for that matter :)
 
Maldoror said:
because people are not dichotomous, if you're intuitive and aware of the subtitles of human psyche, it'd be obvious to you.
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Doesn't human psyche entail the understanding of human behavior, working of the mind no matter how abstract it is and different coping skills of other people at different levels and pace?

Unless you define it otherwise- i am curious to know :ninja
 
One of the guys I went to high school with passed earlier this year. His FB page is still up and his family and friends still post there from time to time. I think it's a good thing. Like others here, it's a bit like going to the grave site and seeing flowers other people have left. To me, it's comforting.
 
kate88 said:
I don't know if any of you have seen or experienced this...

When someone dies and people continue to post on their wall. Messages of love, farewells and posting photos of the deceased person. I have also heard (although never seen it myself) of some people writing back FROM the deceased person. Other times its just general chatter about day to day things, as though the person is still there.

I went to primary school with a guy who was killed in a car crash a year or so ago and his mum is constantly writing on his wall. Saying how much she misses him and how she is really struggling. Its heart breaking!

I find it unsettling, I can't really explain it but it just makes me feel weird.
I can understand a fb page being left for a while so people can say their goodbyes or whatever but surely eventually its time to shut it down?

If I were to die, I wouldn't like my facebook page to remain. Would you?
Maybe its just me.
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make sure you leave instructions in your will or somebody will turn it into a memorial for you. ;)
 
Maldoror said:
But it is different, it's almost pavlovian, you write to your son on FB, you expect an answer, even after his death, the mother will keep expecting an answer and that is heartbreaking. While you wouldn't expect it from the grave.
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the mama likely knows she's not going to get an answer. think about it, isn't it easier to do from the home computer than to drive out to the cemetary?
 
I had a friend how committed suicide nearly 2 years ago. His page is still up and a ton of his friend's send him messages saying that they were thinking of him the other day, they still comment on his birthday and on the anniversary of his death. I think it's a nice way to visit even though you know you aren't going to get a response.

I see nothing wrong with leaving the pages open.
 
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