Drunk stories

[Dean vonIsrael]

Just got back from a party, and for the first time in my life I cannot remember shit after getting drunk. I mean, literally, I don't remember anything. So what is there to do? Opening a thread of course :\. I have no good "been drunk found myself sleeping with the homeless" tale since I somehow found myself sleeping at home, so I'll let someone else begin.

 

[wildcat52]

- i apparently pulled a knife on a guy.
- i told my boy i loved him "even when i was sober"
- i danced to commercial jingles...


none of mine are good

 

[Natasha]

Ummm, I told a close male friend that I had been crushing on "you can hit it, if you want" when he drove me home from my 30th birthday party. LOL!!!

I was doing Field Sobriety Tests for a training class one day and got plastered on gin (first time drinking it...never again!!!). I ended up passing out and having to have an IV before I was allowed to go home. I also puked all over the arms, boots, and jumpbag of the medic on scene. I also puked all over the floor which just happened to be outside the Captain's office...and the stray cat that had started coming around that week was licking up my puke. YUCK!!!

 

[CMDxAbsolution]

I got shitfaced drunk one night, with a bunch of friends at a party. I was like....19. So 5 of us pile into my buddies little ass Nissan, and we leave. Im sitting bitch in the back seat, so im right in the middle. We get pulled over, and right as the cop walks up to the window...I fucking lost it.

I start puking all over the back seat, which in response my friends start bailing out of the car, while the cop just stands there. For some reason, the cop just flashed the light on me, in the backseat, clearly not my proudest moment, and turns to the driver now 20 ft from the car, and tells him to get the hell out of Cranston (the town we were in).

I thought I was going to jail, def got a little lucky.

 

[Zorak]

ddamn my woeful internet!!

i have such tales

 

[teh_fuzz]

ooh I got a few:

so the wife and I had been together for a few months, and she decided to throw me a surprise party at a local pool hal. slick willie's at the time playing pool was my favortie pass time and basically our first date was on a pool hall even though at the time I was trying to hook someone else up with her... or so I told her lol

So, a fe of my then friends and I got together at my buddy Chips house, we called him chip because he is black and hangs out with a bunch o' hispanic folks so.. hence the name chip lol. chip, my boss edgardo, some of the other employees at the deli I worked at and of course a few of the guatemalans, whom are good to bring around because they are short and funny as shit when drunk

We get to the pool hall and sure enough there are a ton of people there, all of my friends and past co-workers and a few friends that staci didnt even like. we got to drinking and in less than 3 horus I was entirely shitfaced, I mean so shitfaced it wasnt even funny... everyone kept wanting to do shots with me (i guess it was payback lol ) and so the night ended at like 10pm lolz

Staci drove me home, I puked my guts out on the side fo a church and I passed out in the shower... woke up drunk as fuck all pruned up i the shower at my old apartment.

yay... :|

 

[teh_fuzz]

1. Rodeo night 2008

Staci is a country gal, and i hate country, naturally i hate country music... but after 7 yrs of her asking me to go to the rodeo with her i finally buckled last february.

We went and saw brooks n' Dunn and well I was so freaking bored I did nothing but drink... beer, double jack n coke, beer, tripple jack n coke, beer, lots more jack than coke, beer, jack and a shot of coke, you get my point.

I got so freaking drunk that almost helped the friend staci brought with us get into a fight with one fo the attendants because we couldnt take our beeer ourside of the stadium with us... but we chugged it and off we went.

headed to the fair.. 9yeah fucking right) we made it 10 steps into the fair and Staci's friend and I said fuck that, lets go! On the way home I puked a few times, all the while people were lol'ing at me in the car. we made it to the mcDondaLDS near staci's work and staci freaked out at my puking.. she freaked out enough to drive me back to her work and start a line on me for fluids lol I passed the fuck out, didnt get any bootay and possibnly ruined the wife's rodeo experience

I'm sorry baby!
** But now I know that the best remedy for a hang over is to get IVy fluids. I woke up at 4am like a fucking spring chicken ready to tear it up some more!**

 

[TheOriginalJames]

I went to a Crossfade concert with a girl from work.

After it was over we were both so wasted that we didn't want to sit in her car (i had to wait for my ride) so we walked over to the Taco bell on the same block and walked through the drivethrough to get some food.

 

[teh_fuzz]

the first time the fuzz fgot nder the influence.

i came to the US back in 89, so before i was drinking of course lol I diidnt have many friends and my mom being the mexican mom could not let me out of her sight so i missed on all the parties and what not. a few summers later I went back to mexico to visit with family and my sister... everything was cool and peachy too! My cousins had started partying, so naturally, I was invited to a party on the last night I was going to be in town.

it was at a cousin's friends house so there wasnt many things to do but drink, chit chat and maybe play some guitar... kinda boring but thats a common thing to do for teens in mexico (btw my cousin is a damn good guitar player so we all had a guitar to play with at some point in the night) so we ahve a good ole time, remember this is my first time getting drunk!

We get picked up by my older cousing after he gets out of the club, and he had a "cup" had I known what the godddamn cup had in it and how long it would torment me i would not have had any lol seeing that I am drunk as a skunk he offers me the cup! and naturally, I drink the fucker in a hurry and decided to have shotgun on the way home WITH THE WINDOW DOWN!!!

I made it to thei home and directly to the sink, spewed beer, and the contents of the mysterious cup all over the place. my aunt who is a nurse came down and pretty soon everyone was lol'ing at my noob'is-drunk ass lol. On top of all that my cousin gave me some milk to drink... and that was it for me I passe dout in their kitchen floor amidst laughter and even me laghing at myself.

got woke up at 6am to go meet my uncle who was driving me back to houston :barf: and started the worse car ride of my life, I was sweating alcohol and my stomach was jacked up all day... worse 12 hr car ride ever!

 

[Natasha]

** But now I know that the best remedy for a hang over is to get IVy fluids. I woke up at 4am like a fucking spring chicken ready to tear it up some more!**

Yes it is!!! And the reason it works is b/c a hangover is caused by dehydration. I also learned that a bag of fluid can reduce your BAC by .02!!!

Ooh, I just remembered this one (I almost told Jersey this story on our drive home the other day b/c we were eating McDonalds and it reminded me of it). Anywho...I went out to a local bar (Aces and Eights) one night w/ some friends of mine. It was me, my friend Mark, Mark's girlfriend at the time, Robert, Brandon, and Jesse. Now, Mark NEVER goes out so this was a rarity...I had to be there to see that!!! Mark always tries to get me drunk b/c he thinks it's funny and he always says "I try to get Tasha drunk and 8 shots later she's walking around fine while I'm drunk as a bicycle." Brandon always says that I'm the only person that NEVER turns down a shot w/ him. Sooooooooooo their goal that night was to get me really drunk. Well, it may have cost them $90, but they succeeded (they told me later all that I drank and I don't even remember it...hell, I had to be TOLD that Jesse was there...I don't remember it!!!). After a bunch of drama w/ Mark and his then girlfriend, everybody left. Robert was the DD, so he drove me home. Well, we stopped and got McDonalds on the way home and I was holding the bag. About 1/2 way down the main road going to my house I could feel the puke coming up. We're in Robert's new car so he's yelling "open the door, open the door, open the door!!!" and I'm trying but Robert never unlocked it for me so I'm going "I cannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn't!!!" I puked SO MUCH it's not even funny. We're stopped in the middle of the roadway and people are going around us...it was great. I go home, brush my teeth, and sit on the couch to eat my drunken McDonalds food. Next thing I know it's 7 AM and I'm waking up w/ a half eaten McDonalds hamburger on my chest. *shrugs*

 

[teh_fuzz]

3. Fuzz last day
When I left Jason's Deli management to go to school, I was leaving a ton of friends and employees behind, a lot of friends and acquaintances. and some of those guys were pretty close to me, so naturally fuzz last day was a party night at the Jason's Deli on FM529 and highway 6 lol Add to that the fact that the very next day i was leaving for cancun for a whole week, I wanted to make the night a fun one!

Closing shift came in, and plans started brewing lol at aobut 8pm some of the guys stated making beer and liquor runs, it wasnt out of the ordinary for me to allow the guys to go grab some beer and the closing crew and myself would drink in the bakc of the deli once we were all done. we could put the beers in the freezer and sit and bs for a few before we all left for the day. Of course after everything was done!

closing time came about and this dude Tomas started making phjone calls, things quickly escalated from m4e and about 5 emplioyees to about me and 10-15 employees, former employees and people that had worked there! we had beer, rum, tequila and being in afucking deli all the food we could handle lol

drank a bottle of bacardi with some girl that worked there, drank about 12 beers and had my fill of fuzz' guacamole special lol for some time we even opened the kitchen back up and mnade us a full meal lolz

at about 4am we decided to call it a night opening crew gets there at 6 or5 am lol. we cleaned up, i locked the place up, and threw the store's key on the roof of the place. then I realized we had also emptied the drink cooler lol and I had left a fe lights on... but said fuck it it is not like im coming back hehe

Drove 2 blocks to staci's house 9i know bad fuzz bad fuzz, I was drunk as a fucking skunk and banged on her door to let me in lol, had some good ol' sex and told staci I loved her lol (yeah bad timing) but as they say

"In vino, veritas"

that was by far one of the best going away parties EVER!
and yes I got more!

 

[teh_fuzz]

Roommate's first impressons

I met my room mate Dallas at the workplace, he was dricing 40+ miles to get to work and I wanted to get out on my own, so I met the dude on his first day at work, I joked about needing a room mate and he said lets be roommates. sure enough the dude had found a place for us to move and even paid depo and 1st month;s rent.

now Dallas is like my brother, the dude is cool as ice and by far one of the nicest people I have ever me. great dude! anyways... he liked going to clubs, and I liked going to bars or drin king at home, so he would take off to clubs almost every night and i had people over almost every night... for some time fuzz's place was the party place.

We were bachelors, we had friends and there was never a lack of booze at the house lol weekly runs to theliquor store were as common as grocery runs lol

the first night at the new place, he went out, andi had a few friends over, we all got drunk on tequila and played cards/video games/ drinking games, etc... at about 2am everyone went home but 2 of my friends whom always stayed the night at my house, my friend emily and my friend Tamera.

now pls keep in mind these two have been friends for years with me so we know and feel very comfortable with each other. So it was time to go to sleep. and of course in our drunkedness Emily and Tamera decide to sleep in their underwear and bras lol they always seemed to get off on teasing me, becaus ethey knew I wouldnt try anything funny so we all went to sleep. somewhere in the mioddle of the night they decided to up the ante and tease me more by taking ther bras off... yes they did thats no BS.

In walks the room mate in the middle of the wee hours of the morning to find beer cans, liquor bottles all over the place, he comes in to check and see if i was up and walks into my room where I am sound asleep with two cutie-pies butt ass nekkid in my bed.

He statrted to laugh and said "OH SHIITT.... THATS MAH BOI" which woke me up, of course I tried to apologize over the mess but all he could say was "thats awesome"

lol

 

[333halfabeast]

I usually don't get drunk enough to lose my faculties, but one time I did ask my gay male friend to sleep with me, he refused and I cried. The next day I felt so bad for putting him in that position.

 

[TristedOne]

I have plenty of these. Living in Las Vegas and consuming alcohol can create a LOT of interesting stories.

Alright well one time when I was around.. about 15.. Me and some friends of mine all got wasted. And we decided to go cruising around. Well one of us got the brilliant idea "Hey! Let's go to Mexico!" (Which btw, is like a 5 hour drive.. 4 if I'm driving). Around 3am as we got really close to the border, we realized that it might be difficult for 5 minors to take a parent's car full of alcohol into a foreign country. So we ended up in this little tiny town RIGHT by the border. We're talking about maybe a couple hundred people living in this town. Maybe. Now, I was probably the most unsober of the entire group. All I remember from that night, was being in the car, something about going to Mexico, and nothing but desert for miles. My friends had to clue me in on the rest. I still to this day, have absolutely no idea what town we were in when we woke up the next morning in this disgusting motel room. It smelled funny, one of us had barfed all over the room, and I'm pretty sure there was barf from a previous guest still in the bathroom.The tv screen was cracked and about 30 years old. There was an old bath towel nailed to the wall for a curtain. There were unrecognizable stains EVERYWHERE. I really don't want to even think about the bed. I'd slept on the floor.. where I found dead bugs when I woke up. So we all hopped back in the car, and drove the 6+ hours back to Las Vegas (which told me we somehow got way.. way WAY off course.)


So the moral to that story is, do not EVER travel while drunk. EVER. It's a bad idea.

Disclaimer: I am not condoning #1. Minors drinking #2. drinking while driving and #3. going to mexico for any reason. Or southern arizona for that matter.

-T


Side note: To the girl who said she felt bad cos she asked her best gay friend to sleep with her while drunk, don't feel bad. It happens to all gay men at some point. We're just so darn sexy.

 

[Peter Parka]

I broke into St Pauls Cathedal while pissed once, thats one of many stories while drunk I have.

 

[dazner]

I usually don't get drunk enough to lose my faculties, but one time I did ask my gay male friend to sleep with me, he refused and I cried. The next day I felt so bad for putting him in that position.

Lexi how many times do I have to tell you....i'm not gay just married hun....damn...

 

[333halfabeast]

Lexi how many times do I have to tell you....i'm not gay just married hun....damn...

:24: So why didn't you let me be your home wrecker?

 

[The Joker]

I got shitfaced drunk one night, with a bunch of friends at a party. I was like....19. So 5 of us pile into my buddies little ass Nissan, and we leave. Im sitting bitch in the back seat, so im right in the middle. We get pulled over, and right as the cop walks up to the window...I fucking lost it.

I start puking all over the back seat, which in response my friends start bailing out of the car, while the cop just stands there. For some reason, the cop just flashed the light on me, in the backseat, clearly not my proudest moment, and turns to the driver now 20 ft from the car, and tells him to get the hell out of Cranston (the town we were in).

I thought I was going to jail, def got a little lucky.

You wouldn't go for jail for just being a PASSENGER drunk

 

[Natasha]

You wouldn't go for jail for just being a PASSENGER drunk

He was 19...not of age to be intoxicated in the US.

 

[The Joker]

Ohhh, sorry, see in Aust it's 18