I think I get your drift... Nice has to be genuine in order to be respected. Folks intuitively know the difference.
More or less what I meant, but also the extreme. There's been teacher's who weren't nice & I absolutely hated/despised, but I respected the shit out of them because they were consistent, brutal, and fair. They weren't there to be nice or be my friend, they were there to teach me what they knew and what I needed.
I've also respected people in the work force who weren't necessarily nice, but earned my respect for getting the job done without bullshit or compromising the team or work quality.
I'm doing it all wrong then lol
Quite possibly.