Advice needed...

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Kyryahn

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I hesitated for a long time before deciding to post this. I'm quite new here, no one (except Maria) really knows me... and I don't want to bore people with my problems...

But I simply don't know what to do about my mother anymore. I'm lost and need some advice I think.

You see, there has been some scientific experiments with rats and cancer cells. Rats were in a cage, and were sent an eletrical shock 10sec after a green light would turn on.
The 1st rat had an exit trap, and after a few shocks would flee by this trap after the green light.
The 2nd rat was with another rat in the cage, and would fight with this other rat everytime they were shocked.
The 3rd had no exit and was alone, so he couldn't react in any way to the stress from the incoming shocks.

Only the 3rd rat developped cancer cells. Showing that it can come from a lack of way to express anger or any other strong feeling.

A few years ago, my mother, as a teacher, saw one of her colleague sexually assaulting a kid (5yrs old). She tried her best to get him fired or blamed, but the Education Inspection didn't move and told her to shut up, that she invented everything.
One year after, she was diagnosed a start of cancer. But a very rare one, so doctors wanted to study it before removing the weird cells, saying it would make no problem.

I'm sure they would have done that, but my mother was scarred and absolutely wanted to get her infected body part removed. The doctors refused.

To make it short, now she doesn't trust traditionnal doctors anymore, and she's seeing fucking stupid and abusive "specialists", like mediums or faith healers or magnetisors... last weekend I found a letter from her to one of those, saying she had completely stopped her traditionnal treatment.

And there's nothing I can do, because she WON'T discuss with me about it. Eveyrtime she changes topic or just walks away. And we're not the very talkative kind of family, I don't think I ever heard or said "love you" from and to my parents. Explains a few things about my personnality... anyway... My aunt told me my mother didn't want to be stressed with me worrying for her, that's why she wouldn't discuss with me about that.

So now I'm thinking about going to see the main "specialist" following her, and crush his face if he doesn't accept to stop bullshiting her and taking her money. But she'll just hate me and turn to another of those robbers, won't solve anything.

What do you think?
 
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memento_mori

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that's very interesting about the rats, i've never heard of inability to express anger or stress as a cause for cancer.

there's really not much you can do once she has her heart set on it. you can try everything you can, keep trying to talk to her about it, confront the medium guy, try and call out the doctors that wouldn't treat her until they studied the cancer.

my mother is just coming out of surgery to remove some cancer herself, and the entire family felt she was pushing herself too hard coming back from the surgery/radiation. but we all knew that was just my mother, and we wouldn't do anything past talking to her about not pushing herself so hard.
 

Maritxu

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Memento, def. repressing a negative or even a possitive emotion can produce cancer and other numerous somatic illnesses. I wouldn't say it's the only cause though.

G, you are doing what is right, and I'm so proud of you... I think you should speak with your dad and other people who love her and try to make her come into reason. And she will never hate you. I'm sure she loves you and knows you love her too and that's why you worry. She will see it one day or another.
 
N

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I hesitated for a long time before deciding to post this. I'm quite new here, no one (except Maria) really knows me... and I don't want to bore people with my problems...

But I simply don't know what to do about my mother anymore. I'm lost and need some advice I think.

You see, there has been some scientific experiments with rats and cancer cells. Rats were in a cage, and were sent an eletrical shock 10sec after a green light would turn on.
The 1st rat had an exit trap, and after a few shocks would flee by this trap after the green light.
The 2nd rat was with another rat in the cage, and would fight with this other rat everytime they were shocked.
The 3rd had no exit and was alone, so he couldn't react in any way to the stress from the incoming shocks.

Only the 3rd rat developped cancer cells. Showing that it can come from a lack of way to express anger or any other strong feeling.

A few years ago, my mother, as a teacher, saw one of her colleague sexually assaulting a kid (5yrs old). She tried her best to get him fired or blamed, but the Education Inspection didn't move and told her to shut up, that she invented everything.
One year after, she was diagnosed a start of cancer. But a very rare one, so doctors wanted to study it before removing the weird cells, saying it would make no problem.

I'm sure they would have done that, but my mother was scarred and absolutely wanted to get her infected body part removed. The doctors refused.

To make it short, now she doesn't trust traditionnal doctors anymore, and she's seeing fucking stupid and abusive "specialists", like mediums or faith healers or magnetisors... last weekend I found a letter from her to one of those, saying she had completely stopped her traditionnal treatment.

And there's nothing I can do, because she WON'T discuss with me about it. Eveyrtime she changes topic or just walks away. And we're not the very talkative kind of family, I don't think I ever heard or said "love you" from and to my parents. Explains a few things about my personnality... anyway... My aunt told me my mother didn't want to be stressed with me worrying for her, that's why she wouldn't discuss with me about that.

So now I'm thinking about going to see the main "specialist" following her, and crush his face if he doesn't accept to stop bullshiting her and taking her money. But she'll just hate me and turn to another of those robbers, won't solve anything.

What do you think?

Ok, I have to interject here. I find what happens to a rat no comparison to how a human deals with anything. How many drugs has the FDA allowed to come to market because they were ok for rats? Come on people, get smarter. Quit allowing the media to warp your minds. Stress does not cause cancer. No fucking way. Cancer is something that develops because of the environment around us. This is the silliest thing I have ever heard. Cancer caused by stress. Fucking rediculous if you ask me.

I had to edit: I am sorry your mother has developed a rare form of cancer. My prayers are for you and your family.
 

memento_mori

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Ok, I have to interject here. I find what happens to a rat no comparison to how a human deals with anything. How many drugs has the FDA allowed to come to market because they were ok for rats? Come on people, get smarter. Quit allowing the media to warp your minds. Stress does not cause cancer. No fucking way. Cancer is something that develops because of the environment around us. This is the silliest thing I have ever heard. Cancer caused by stress. Fucking rediculous if you ask me.

it's an experiment testing a theory. nothing proven, just a hunch. we have plenty in common with lab rats, and it's not like we can test any experiment we want on humans first. there's still a lot we don't know about cancer, and it is completely possible that it's caused by unrelieved stress.

on a side note, i think it's ridiculous how many people type rediculous.
 

Kyryahn

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Ok, I have to interject here. I find what happens to a rat no comparison to how a human deals with anything. How many drugs has the FDA allowed to come to market because they were ok for rats? Come on people, get smarter. Quit allowing the media to warp your minds. Stress does not cause cancer. No fucking way. Cancer is something that develops because of the environment around us. This is the silliest thing I have ever heard. Cancer caused by stress. Fucking rediculous if you ask me.

I had to edit: I am sorry your mother has developed a rare form of cancer. My prayers are for you and your family.
Thank you.
But check that:
Psychological Stress and Cancer - National Cancer Institute
So it may be a really possible cause, and even if not, it's far from "ridiculous" if it's under scientific research. I tend to think it's an aggravting or accelerating cause.
 

AUDRAA

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nope Im not buying it either, you explain to me why Im looking at the differential smears every day of small children with cancer, if its caused by stress then? Its an abnormality of the cells in the body and it has nothing to do with stress. Im going to agree with Steve and say yes there are times where it is brought on by environmental but stress no way!
Also my prayers are with you and your family right now I wish you only the best.
 

dt3

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nope Im not buying it either, you explain to me why Im looking at the differential smears every day of small children with cancer, if its caused by stress then? Its an abnormality of the cells in the body and it has nothing to do with stress. Im going to agree with Steve and say yes there are times where it is brought on by environmental but stress no way!
Also my prayers are with you and your family right now I wish you only the best.
They aren't saying stress is the ONLY cause, just that it could be one of the causes
 

dragonbelle

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except... well guys, stress does an awful lot of damage to your body, affecting pretty much every system in your body. in terms of your body's chemicals and hormones, sustained and unaddressed stress causes things to be in a constant state of imbalance. it does heart and artery damage, disables your immune system, causes your digestive system to function abnormally, a whole host of other things can go wrong because of "just stress." since many of these effects of stress leave your body unable to deal with and remove the toxins produced by the body and taken in from the environment, there is a lot of cell damage involved that can easily lead to the cell abnormality that is cancer.

if you can accept that our environment contains things that lead to cancer, you need to accept that stress can also be a contributor at least in the sense that smashes the bodies ability to protect itself into tiny little impotent bits.

i don't think anybody here is trying to say that stress is the ONLY cause of cancer. genetic factors, environmental factors, everything contributes to who gets cancer and who doesn't.

also - in terms of recovering from cancer, just looking at medicine and health psychology it's pretty clear that stress is a big obstacle to getting over any disease, and cancer is no different.

>_< edited because i make too many typos...
 

dragonbelle

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Ok, I have to interject here. I find what happens to a rat no comparison to how a human deals with anything. How many drugs has the FDA allowed to come to market because they were ok for rats? Come on people, get smarter. Quit allowing the media to warp your minds. Stress does not cause cancer. No fucking way. Cancer is something that develops because of the environment around us. This is the silliest thing I have ever heard. Cancer caused by stress. Fucking rediculous if you ask me.

I had to edit: I am sorry your mother has developed a rare form of cancer. My prayers are for you and your family.

firstly... drugs don't get on the market simply because they are found to work on rats. after initial development they go through exstensive trials in at least 2 different animal species, collecting data on the way a drug is processed metabolically, what various kinds of tissue it effects, the toxicity of the drug (all under the term ADME for absorption, distribution, metabolism, and excretion). on top of all this data is the observation of how the drug actually works, the effects of it on the organism is has been administered to. this last bit is the part where it really starts to matter what kind of animal you're testing it on, because it's here that you see differences between species, but researchers are very aware of what symptoms and classes of drugs act differently among different species.

after all of that study, then the drug can move into human testing in clinical trials. the process can take quite a few years, and the majority of drugs never reach market.

what happens to a rat is never considered to be a direct link to human reaction or behavior, but in cases where we can't do human experimentation because it's simply unethical, animals can give us a very good idea how similar processes and behaviors work in humans. while it's not the level of research to base an entire medical procedure or treatment plan on, it is valuable research that has lead to most of the medical and psychological advancement we see now.

none of this information has been fed to me by the media, instead it comes from my experience as a psych major in a program with heavy emphasis on research methods and design, and with a much loved and often teaching prof/academic advisor who specializes in health psychology and experimental design.

(sorry if this comes off as attacking, but y'all struck a bit of a nerve)
 
N

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firstly... drugs don't get on the market simply because they are found to work on rats. after initial development they go through exstensive trials in at least 2 different animal species, collecting data on the way a drug is processed metabolically, what various kinds of tissue it effects, the toxicity of the drug (all under the term ADME for absorption, distribution, metabolism, and excretion). on top of all this data is the observation of how the drug actually works, the effects of it on the organism is has been administered to. this last bit is the part where it really starts to matter what kind of animal you're testing it on, because it's here that you see differences between species, but researchers are very aware of what symptoms and classes of drugs act differently among different species.

after all of that study, then the drug can move into human testing in clinical trials. the process can take quite a few years, and the majority of drugs never reach market.

what happens to a rat is never considered to be a direct link to human reaction or behavior, but in cases where we can't do human experimentation because it's simply unethical, animals can give us a very good idea how similar processes and behaviors work in humans. while it's not the level of research to base an entire medical procedure or treatment plan on, it is valuable research that has lead to most of the medical and psychological advancement we see now.

none of this information has been fed to me by the media, instead it comes from my experience as a psych major in a program with heavy emphasis on research methods and design, and with a much loved and often teaching prof/academic advisor who specializes in health psychology and experimental design.

(sorry if this comes off as attacking, but y'all struck a bit of a nerve)

Thank you Captain Obvious. I still do not believe for one second that stress causes Cancer. Its either genetic or an outside force. Otherwise, every troop member that goes to Iraq would come back with Cancer. Talk about stress. Not getting your copies to come out of the copier is not really "stress". Not being able to pay your bills is not "stress". Its normal everyday life.

Oh, and to the tool memento, that was a typo, but thanks for correcting me.
 

dragonbelle

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as i said before, stress directly affects the way your body reacts to and handles environment factors. think of it more like an internal "environmental" factor rather than a cause. also, i don't think that the stress of knowing a child has been sexually assaulted, and being able to do nothing to help them or stop the person assualting them, rates on the same level as a frustrating copy machine. most of the major health effects of stress come from a sustained level of higher than average stress, and the inability to deal with stress (including not being able to communicate feelings/worries, which may be a problem for the woman in question if the family isn't big on talking).

and again, no one is saying that stress is the only cause of cancer, and is a universal cause of cancer. if it were, then yes you could expect every solider who ever went to war, hell even just went to boot camp, to come back with cancer. but, it's not, stress is only one of many factors involved in the disease. one of the many problems with treating/curing cancer is that there are simply SO MANY factors involved that you can't pinpoint one to prevent it or cure it.

if what i said was so obvious, why does you're initial post contradict it?

perhaps because you are, obviously, a douche :tongue: (especially if someone correcting your spelling makes them a tool :rolleyes: )
 
N

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as i said before, stress directly affects the way your body reacts to and handles environment factors. think of it more like an internal "environmental" factor rather than a cause. also, i don't think that the stress of knowing a child has been sexually assaulted, and being able to do nothing to help them or stop the person assualting them, rates on the same level as a frustrating copy machine. most of the major health effects of stress come from a sustained level of higher than average stress, and the inability to deal with stress (including not being able to communicate feelings/worries, which may be a problem for the woman in question if the family isn't big on talking).

and again, no one is saying that stress is the only cause of cancer, and is a universal cause of cancer. if it were, then yes you could expect every solider who ever went to war, hell even just went to boot camp, to come back with cancer. but, it's not, stress is only one of many factors involved in the disease. one of the many problems with treating/curing cancer is that there are simply SO MANY factors involved that you can't pinpoint one to prevent it or cure it.

if what i said was so obvious, why does you're initial post contradict it?

perhaps because you are, obviously, a douche :tongue: (especially if someone correcting your spelling makes them a tool :rolleyes: )

Oh brother. A Noob calling me a douche. If I had a nickel for everytime that happened. First of all, since you are Noob, you'd know right off the bat that I am SARCASTIC. However, I am college educated, and much older than you. I can think what I want and when I want. Me calling Memento a tool was out of love. SO STFU and die in a bucket of your bile, your dead to me.
 

dragonbelle

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Oh brother. A Noob calling me a douche. If I had a nickel for everytime that happened. First of all, since you are Noob, you'd know right off the bat that I am SARCASTIC. However, I am college educated, and much older than you. I can think what I want and when I want. Me calling Memento a tool was out of love. SO STFU and die in a bucket of your bile, your dead to me.

i'll admit, "noob" does apply to me. i generally dislike posting often on forums, because it's too easy to piss me off, so i lurk.

from the vantage point of someone who doesn't know you, has only read many of your posts while browsing, you come off as a douche probably just as much as i come off as a noob.

you may be older, more educated, and more well known than i am around here, but i'd still bet that this is one of the areas where you remain ignorant as fuck.

*done trying*
 

GraceAbounds

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My Mom is a cancer survivor. I'm in college for nuclear medicine. I concur with the information that dragonbelle has posted. When my Mom was told that she was free and clear of her cancer one of the main things her oncologist told her that she was to retire and retire now and that she was to learn to live a life with as least amount of stress as possible because stress was one of the main factors of the manifestation of cancer.
 

Kat

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ok first off let me say to some people in this thread...no matter if you believe what the studies were about or not. Kyryahn is here for advice on how the mom can be helped....So how bout we all give advice... This is not a debate.


I hesitated for a long time before deciding to post this. I'm quite new here, no one (except Maria) really knows me... and I don't want to bore people with my problems...

But I simply don't know what to do about my mother anymore. I'm lost and need some advice I think.

You see, there has been some scientific experiments with rats and cancer cells. Rats were in a cage, and were sent an eletrical shock 10sec after a green light would turn on.
The 1st rat had an exit trap, and after a few shocks would flee by this trap after the green light.
The 2nd rat was with another rat in the cage, and would fight with this other rat everytime they were shocked.
The 3rd had no exit and was alone, so he couldn't react in any way to the stress from the incoming shocks.

Only the 3rd rat developped cancer cells. Showing that it can come from a lack of way to express anger or any other strong feeling.

A few years ago, my mother, as a teacher, saw one of her colleague sexually assaulting a kid (5yrs old). She tried her best to get him fired or blamed, but the Education Inspection didn't move and told her to shut up, that she invented everything.
One year after, she was diagnosed a start of cancer. But a very rare one, so doctors wanted to study it before removing the weird cells, saying it would make no problem.

I'm sure they would have done that, but my mother was scarred and absolutely wanted to get her infected body part removed. The doctors refused.

To make it short, now she doesn't trust traditionnal doctors anymore, and she's seeing fucking stupid and abusive "specialists", like mediums or faith healers or magnetisors... last weekend I found a letter from her to one of those, saying she had completely stopped her traditionnal treatment.

And there's nothing I can do, because she WON'T discuss with me about it. Eveyrtime she changes topic or just walks away. And we're not the very talkative kind of family, I don't think I ever heard or said "love you" from and to my parents. Explains a few things about my personnality... anyway... My aunt told me my mother didn't want to be stressed with me worrying for her, that's why she wouldn't discuss with me about that.

So now I'm thinking about going to see the main "specialist" following her, and crush his face if he doesn't accept to stop bullshiting her and taking her money. But she'll just hate me and turn to another of those robbers, won't solve anything.

What do you think?
I honestly think it may help if you see the main specialist following her case. Talk to him and see what he has to say. Myaybe even kinda ambush your mom if need be take her out to lunch or something somewhere...you do the driving and make it someplace quiet...talk to her there if you think maybe that might work. Do some research on your own and try to find someone trustworthy...that you like and maybe you can convince your mom to go to that person instead if you have enough facts and good things to show her. My heart goes out to you and your family...i know how hard it is to have someone you care deeply about fighting cancer. *hugs* ever need an ear and im always here
 
N

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My Mom is a cancer survivor. I'm in college for nuclear medicine. I concur with the information that dragonbelle has posted. When my Mom was told that she was free and clear of her cancer one of the main things her oncologist told her that she was to retire and retire now and that she was to learn to live a life with as least amount of stress as possible because stress was one of the main factors of the manifestation of cancer.

Yep, manifestation sounds like cause to me. Ok, let me re-phrase for you people. Stress may be a factor in the weakening of the body in order for cancer to destroy the body without proper defense, however, it is in no way the CAUSE of cancer. I just did a simple search on google and found tons of information supporting my hypothesis. Go figure.

memento_mori said:
you're dead to me
smile.gif

Oddly enough, who cares? I sure don't.

dragonbelle said:
i'll admit, "noob" does apply to me. i generally dislike posting often on forums, because it's too easy to piss me off, so i lurk.

from the vantage point of someone who doesn't know you, has only read many of your posts while browsing, you come off as a douche probably just as much as i come off as a noob.

you may be older, more educated, and more well known than i am around here, but i'd still bet that this is one of the areas where you remain ignorant as fuck.

*done trying*

I hope you have something worth-while to bet because it appears I am wiser than you and I didn't study cancer. So, unless you have finally found that stress does in fact cause cancer, then STFU, because no one can say that.
 

Tim

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ok first off let me say to some people in this thread...no matter if you believe what the studies were about or not. Kyryahn is here for advice on how the mom can be helped....So how bout we all give advice... This is not a debate.

Please listen to Kat, this thread isn't about debating cancer.

Thank you.
 
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