5,000 tokens to the person that comes up with the best excuse for calling into work.

Re: 5,000 tokens to the person that comes up with the best excuse for calling into wo

I have to update my massive photo and porn collection?
 
Re: 5,000 tokens to the person that comes up with the best excuse for calling into wo

"I can't find a photo that adequately expresses my emotions at this exact moment, so I can't come into work until I have."
 
Re: 5,000 tokens to the person that comes up with the best excuse for calling into wo

cza0810l.jpg
 
Re: 5,000 tokens to the person that comes up with the best excuse for calling into wo

anal glacoma -The act of not seeing your butt doing anything for a current event.

Boss: "Why did you not come to work?"

You: "Well my anal glacoma was acting up."

Boss: "I have never heard of that medical condition. Sounds serious."

You: "Yeah it is. I couldn't see my ass coming to work. "
 
Re: 5,000 tokens to the person that comes up with the best excuse for calling into wo

Its not that I cant come in....I just dont fucking FEEL like it today.
 
Re: 5,000 tokens to the person that comes up with the best excuse for calling into wo

"I have decided to take the day off work. Before you chastise me, there are a number of things I believe you should be made aware of: Firstly, work is a noun that doesn't quite do justice to my role at your office. Granted I have spent many hours confined to my work station looking diligent, but those lengthy periods of perceived diligence are merely a by-product of the effort I expunge into debating ceaselessly with my internet contacts the values of the prequel trilogy of the Star Wars franchise. Secondly, I love coffee. I simply adore coffee. However, I haven't bought a coffee for myself in 10 years. There is simply no need, I find I can take all the coffee and confectionery I need from your canteen; this logic persists further yet, and explains also why I have also not bought the following items in 10 years: paper, toner, pens, staples, door stops, window blinds, table varnish, keyboards, cordless mice, computers, laptops and even petrol - which I have found is easily syphoned from the large unguarded tanks of executives.
In short, I believe it is in both our best interests that I don't come into work today. You might suggest I never come back to work in light of this correspondence - but I must remind you that I am under contract and would fight any attempted expulsion with all my resources; which after the 10 years of fair salary you have provided me, along with 10 years of free expenses that your office has also unwittingly lent to me, I have plenty of.
See you next week!"
 
Re: 5,000 tokens to the person that comes up with the best excuse for calling into wo

vip_winners2.jpg​

"I have decided to take the day off work. Before you chastise me, there are a number of things I believe you should be made aware of: Firstly, work is a noun that doesn't quite do justice to my role at your office. Granted I have spent many hours confined to my work station looking diligent, but those lengthy periods of perceived diligence are merely a by-product of the effort I expunge into debating ceaselessly with my internet contacts the values of the prequel trilogy of the Star Wars franchise. Secondly, I love coffee. I simply adore coffee. However, I haven't bought a coffee for myself in 10 years. There is simply no need, I find I can take all the coffee and confectionery I need from your canteen; this logic persists further yet, and explains also why I have also not bought the following items in 10 years: paper, toner, pens, staples, door stops, window blinds, table varnish, keyboards, cordless mice, computers, laptops and even petrol - which I have found is easily syphoned from the large unguarded tanks of executives.
In short, I believe it is in both our best interests that I don't come into work today. You might suggest I never come back to work in light of this correspondence - but I must remind you that I am under contract and would fight any attempted expulsion with all my resources; which after the 10 years of fair salary you have provided me, along with 10 years of free expenses that your office has also unwittingly lent to me, I have plenty of.
See you next week!"
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