The Lobster Song
Good morning Mr. Fisher Man, Good morning sir said he, Have you got a lobster you can sell to me?
(chorus)
Singing 'oh didly oh', shit or bust, Never let your bollocks dangle in the dust
Well 'yes sir yes sir, I have two'... 'The biggest of the bastards I will sell to you'
(chorus)
Well I took the lobster home, and I put it in a dish, I put it the dish where the Mrs has a piss.
(chorus)
In the middle of the night, the Mrs had a fright, there was the lobster hanging from her clite.
(chorus)
Well the Mrs grabbed a stick and I grabbed a broom, we hit the fucking lobster round and round the room.
(chorus)
We hit it on the head, and we hit it on the side, we hit the fucking lobster till the bastard died.
(chorus)
There's a moral to the story, the moral is this, always have a shufty, before you have a piss.
(chorus)
That's the end of the story there ain't no more, there's an apple up my arsehole and you can have the core.
(chorus) slow to end.