It seems the best treatment plan is to teach your little child not to disrespect you when they're a bigger child, is what I'm saying.
Disciplining children..
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It seems the best treatment plan is to teach your little child not to disrespect you when they're a bigger child, is what I'm saying.
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My Godson was a prick of a teenager...he was so disrespectful to his mother he had her in tears several times, it was hard to watch and lots of friends and family thought he was the demon child, but what these people didn't see was how he was treated when he was younger.
He had no rules, he was spoiled rotten, right from the get-go. He could do no wrong until he was about 10, then his mother decided she didn't like the person he was becoming so she decided she was going get mad at everything he did...she yelled, cursed, called him names all the time....no matter what. I heard her say "no wonder nobody likes you, you're nothing but a brat" or "you have no friends because you're an idiot". He finally lashed out...he'd call her "bitch", "moron", etc. It was bad and disrespectful....but I know exactly how it all started. The poor kid was confused, angry and had no set boundaries. Imagine what went on in his head....he once could do no wrong and then he could do no right....
So whoever said consistency is the key is, in my opinion, correct. You start moulding your kid into what you want your teen/adult child to be. You can't be hot and cold or show a second's worth of weakness, lol.
I always felt sorry for him.
He had no rules, he was spoiled rotten, right from the get-go. He could do no wrong until he was about 10, then his mother decided she didn't like the person he was becoming so she decided she was going get mad at everything he did...she yelled, cursed, called him names all the time....no matter what. I heard her say "no wonder nobody likes you, you're nothing but a brat" or "you have no friends because you're an idiot". He finally lashed out...he'd call her "bitch", "moron", etc. It was bad and disrespectful....but I know exactly how it all started. The poor kid was confused, angry and had no set boundaries. Imagine what went on in his head....he once could do no wrong and then he could do no right....
So whoever said consistency is the key is, in my opinion, correct. You start moulding your kid into what you want your teen/adult child to be. You can't be hot and cold or show a second's worth of weakness, lol.
I always felt sorry for him.
Yep, I eagerly away both yours and Niamh's plan on how to go about that. This should be good.
With Liam he hates leaving anywhere when we are out so the threat works well. .but he has been so bad at time I have left a cart full of groceries and left. He screamed and threw a fit in the car.. I told him he could cry all he wants he was bad and he didn't get to be out and see people when he was bad.
With him being only 2 I do the counting thing and if I get to three and have to get up or drop what I am doing to discipline he will get a tap on the diaper or fingers depending on what he is doing. A tap to the diaper just gets his attention, it doesn't hurt him. The worst punishment I can inflict on Liam is making him sit on the couch without toys or moving. He quickly clams down and apologizes. Also taking something he likes away from him works very well...
I grew up in a house that if I did anything wrong I would get hit and mean hit. So I won't do that to my child. But when all else fails a little slap to the diaper or tap on the fingers is ok by me.
Now if only I could cure the biting LOL.
I have kids thank you very much, they're 7 and 11. Neither one swears and both are very well behaved. I don't let them get away things and they're not spoiled but I don't hit them either, I really don't understand why you think kids can't be disciplined without hitting them.
Once you have a rude twat for a teenager, I think all hope is lost without professional intervention.
In terms of building a solid foundation with a young child in hopes of avoiding a demon later, I'd say do your best to teach them values (respect, hard work, patience, kindness), lead by example, be neither negligent nor indulgent, be consistent with discipline and praise above all else. If severe behavioral problems are still evident, I'd suspect a personality disorder and again, seek professional intervention. That'd be my best guess
Once you have a rude twat for a teenager, I think all hope is lost without professional intervention.
In terms of building a solid foundation with a young child in hopes of avoiding a demon later, I'd say do your best to teach them values (respect, hard work, patience, kindness), lead by example, be neither negligent nor indulgent, be consistent with discipline and praise above all else. If severe behavioral problems are still evident, I'd suspect a personality disorder and again, seek professional intervention. That'd be my best guess
I think you've summed it up.
My ( now 20 year old ) was always yelling and screaming when she was with her Mom.. My now Ex-Wife was never consistent and our daughter at age 5 knew how to push her buttons.. But when she was with me she knew she could not get away with things and in those many years only once or twice did she throw a temper tantrum that did not last long.. Even today she tells me how I changed her life and how she hates her mom for doing what she did.
How you talk to your child ( authoritatively ) and follow through will always show them you are serious.. If you ever back down even once you are back at square one..
Screaming at a child is like not talking at all. They basically block you out.. You have to discuss things in a way that will keep their attention and make sure you keep eye contact. Even at a young age while you discuss things in words they will understand. Start using words they have no idea and you might as well be talking Klingon..
My now 7 year old is starting to challenge me and is finding the same results my daughter did.. I expect him too as he develops his own character but explain to him there are ways and times to talk to people and ask him if he would like to be talked to rudely when he does it to me.. I usually get a "No" and his attitude changes..
I have never hit a child and never had too. There are way to many other ways to get a child's attention than hitting them.
To me hitting a child is a sign of poor parenting and saying "this child has won over me, I can't handle this anymore so I would rather teach it that abuse is the best way to deal with things"..
You treat a child with respect and in return you will get respect back in the long run.. Yes children can get grumpy, whinny and cry but hey so do adults.. Teach them to deal with things at a young age or even later on in life and they will learn.
You disrespect a child and in return that is what you will get..
How you talk to your child ( authoritatively ) and follow through will always show them you are serious.. If you ever back down even once you are back at square one..
Screaming at a child is like not talking at all. They basically block you out.. You have to discuss things in a way that will keep their attention and make sure you keep eye contact. Even at a young age while you discuss things in words they will understand. Start using words they have no idea and you might as well be talking Klingon..
My now 7 year old is starting to challenge me and is finding the same results my daughter did.. I expect him too as he develops his own character but explain to him there are ways and times to talk to people and ask him if he would like to be talked to rudely when he does it to me.. I usually get a "No" and his attitude changes..
I have never hit a child and never had too. There are way to many other ways to get a child's attention than hitting them.
To me hitting a child is a sign of poor parenting and saying "this child has won over me, I can't handle this anymore so I would rather teach it that abuse is the best way to deal with things"..
You treat a child with respect and in return you will get respect back in the long run.. Yes children can get grumpy, whinny and cry but hey so do adults.. Teach them to deal with things at a young age or even later on in life and they will learn.
You disrespect a child and in return that is what you will get..
I'm 31... I don't want children and surely am not having my own. So you're right when i find the right woman, they'll have to accept that I don't want children or have them already. Children are just not for me.
I call bullshit... Sorry unless you have freak children all children act out at some point... Both of my cousins have children, one has 3 all 9 or under and one has two ones 10 and ones 5... They still act out. Age has nothing to do with it.
Giving your child a spanking is not abuse...
Well, punishment doesn't always equal smacking is what I meant. Taking away privileges or making them go to their room are punishments, but would also fall under the banner of discipline.
Punishing your child for doing something bad is not a monstrous act, all questions of what that punishment is aside.
this world is going to shit when people think giving your child a smack on the ass is a monstrous act. my childhood friend had a father in his 60s because both his brothers were 15 to 20 years older than him. His father didn't think twice of getting out a belt and whooping his ass with it... He turned out fine.
I never said my kids were angels, I said that they were past the age where they have tantrums. And I never said they didn't need to be disciplined ever I said that I don't hit them, I don't see why that's a problem?
Yeah I'm sure he has very fond memories of being whipped with a belt.
He held no resentments towards his father and cared for him after his mother died until he passed a few years ago. Just because your use discipline on a child doesn't mean they're going to harbor ill will torward you or have issues growing up. What the fuck did you think they did back in the day before the world got so PC? Schools were even allowed to discipline a child ie rulers to the fingers and whoopings...
Yes I'm well aware of that. Was it right? absolutely not. I know plenty of people, my dad included who were "disciplined" in school, they have horrible memories of it.
And I never said I was against discipline, I said I didn't hit my kids as a form of discipline.
Yeah! And real men use to beat their wives if their dinner wasn't ready when they got home. The wives wouldn't hold resentment towards their husbands, they knew they were in the wrong. So when did the world get so PC that you can't even give your wife a slap anymore???
I completely disagree that you need to hit/smack your kids to get them to listen.
I have four kids, 21, 16, 4 and 19 months and I never had to hit, spank or slap them. And these kids are some of the most respectful kids you will ever meet. They say please and thank you, they won't interrupt you when you're talking (young ones are still learning this, but you don't have to yell at them)
As someone has said before, it's ALL about consistency and teaching your children exactly what you expect of them.
If you're in the store and your child asks for a candy bar, you should only need to tell them ONE time yes or no. If you say no and they throw a fit, scream and make a scene, then they have learned that this behavior will result in a candy bar some of the times. My kids KNOW for a fact that if I say no, that is the end of the story. There is nothing they can say or do to change it, so why bother trying.
And when I say no, I will usually briefly explain to them why. I don't believe in the "because I said so" route.
If you are not consistent, they will test you (it's human nature) and it makes for a very unhealthy home environment where you are constantly yelling at your kids.
I don't beat my wife to get her to do what I want, why in the hell would I beat my kids?
I have four kids, 21, 16, 4 and 19 months and I never had to hit, spank or slap them. And these kids are some of the most respectful kids you will ever meet. They say please and thank you, they won't interrupt you when you're talking (young ones are still learning this, but you don't have to yell at them)
As someone has said before, it's ALL about consistency and teaching your children exactly what you expect of them.
If you're in the store and your child asks for a candy bar, you should only need to tell them ONE time yes or no. If you say no and they throw a fit, scream and make a scene, then they have learned that this behavior will result in a candy bar some of the times. My kids KNOW for a fact that if I say no, that is the end of the story. There is nothing they can say or do to change it, so why bother trying.
And when I say no, I will usually briefly explain to them why. I don't believe in the "because I said so" route.
If you are not consistent, they will test you (it's human nature) and it makes for a very unhealthy home environment where you are constantly yelling at your kids.
I don't beat my wife to get her to do what I want, why in the hell would I beat my kids?
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