Disciplining children..

[Niamh]

I don't think hitting your kids is a good way of disciplining them tbh. There are other equally effective ways of doing it without getting physical with them imo.

 

[Staci]

my son threatened to call 911 and turn me in one time. i grabbed the phone, told him to go ahead but before he did i was gonna give him a reason to call. he never did. my children get ample warnings starting with a talking to, etc. i will spank them if it comes to that. i dont beat my children! a swat on the butt, and mind you its not hard by any means, usually gets their attention when nothing else works.

 

[Joe the meek]

Kids are like farts, they don't smell as bad when they are yours.

 

[Abcinthia]

It annoys me when you get a kid acting up in public and the parent threatens to give them a smack if they do it again and then just continue to threaten them with a smack when the kid carries on. Of course the're not going to behave themself when they know they are empty threats.

Yeah that annoys me too. Or the mums who just say "wait till your dad gets home". Surely they would be better off disciplining their child when they are being naughty instead of waiting hours, by which time the kid has probably forgotten what they have done.

I tell my daughter off if she is misbehaving in public and explain why it is wrong. If she keeps misbehaving, I take her home. I really couldn't care less if people gave me dirty looks over it.

 

[Kyle B]

Yeah that annoys me too. Or the mums who just say "wait till your dad gets home". Surely they would be better off disciplining their child when they are being naughty instead of waiting hours, by which time the kid has probably forgotten what they have done.

I tell my daughter off if she is misbehaving in public and explain why it is wrong. If she keeps misbehaving, I take her home. I really couldn't care less if people gave me dirty looks over it.

That's always interesting, the kid who gives their mother hell but is petrified of their dad (or vice versa).

 

[pjbleek]

so I am guessing that when and if Dana has kids they will be teenagers....so they can't act up on him....

 

[Panacea]

Empty threats don't seem to work on kids, I've always ever heard the best thing is consistency. I am not a fan of hitting children, I tend to look at the parent who does that and think they've lost control of the child, just as bad as doing nothing at all.

Jassilem's method is what I've heard works best in most cases, you tell them you're leaving if they don't behave, and if they don't behave, LEAVE. It seems following through on what you promise/threaten is good for them in both punishment and praise.

 

[Niamh]

Empty threats don't seem to work on kids, I've always ever heard the best thing is consistency. I am not a fan of hitting children, I tend to look at the parent who does that and think they've lost control of the child, just as bad as doing nothing at all.

Jassilem's method is what I've heard works best in most cases, you tell them you're leaving if they don't behave, and if they don't behave, LEAVE. It seems following through on what you promise/threaten is good for them in both punishment and praise.

Yeah, I agree 100% with this.

 

[pjbleek]

My parents were not heavy abusers at all, (a slap on the hands) they believed too, that a different type of discipline that involved if you were spoken to you would wait for the rest of the family to leave (dinner table, restaurant, etc.) and we were talked to and if warranted a discussion that went further they would find odd job that needed doing and told you you had to that. Think about the teacher who has to discipline a student, they can't hit the child so they send the child to the principal's office so they can deal with the child. I remember being in Catholic schools(grades five through high school) and I did see kids get hit and one even tried to hit back! It was bad enough we were trying to understand the world around us but to have such old school nuns and Brothers hit us because we were being unruly or undisciplined they were not our parents and had to act like them when we were in school.

 

[Peter Parka]

Jassilem's method is what I've heard works best in most cases, you tell them you're leaving if they don't behave, and if they don't behave, LEAVE. It seems following through on what you promise/threaten is good for them in both punishment and praise.

What if they want to leave like the're bored in the supermarket?
A sharp smack on the backside isn't going to damage them and is an easy and effective form of punishment in a lot of kids. Worked well on me when I was little and I'm a better person for it.

 

[Niamh]

What if they want to leave like the're bored in the supermarket?
A sharp smack on the backside isn't going to damage them and is an easy and effective form of punishment in a lot of kids. Worked well on me when I was little and I'm a better person for it.

I disagree, hitting another person is not tolerated anywhere else, I find it strange that the only place it is tolerated is on little kids. Makes no sense to me. My kids are very well behaved without me or my husband hitting them.

 

[pjbleek]

I disagree, hitting another person is not tolerated anywhere else, I find it strange that the only place it is tolerated is on little kids. Makes no sense to me. My kids are very well behaved without me or my husband hitting them.

what do you do when they act up?

 

[Niamh]

what do you do when they act up?

Well they're 7 and 11 now so they don't have tantrums or anything, but if they need to be punished for something I'd send them to bed early or take away their DS or something like that.

 

[Peter Parka]

I disagree, hitting another person is not tolerated anywhere else, I find it strange that the only place it is tolerated is on little kids. Makes no sense to me. My kids are very well behaved without me or my husband hitting them.

Don't know what world exactly you live in but it certainly isn't the case round here.

 

[Niamh]

Don't know what world exactly you live in but it certainly isn't the case round here.

You just said that it was fine in your last post

 

[Peter Parka]

Think you've missed the point.
You said hitting people is only tolerated on children
Most places I know, if someone was being a prick and being abusive to someone and they got the shit kicked out of them for it, most people would think they deserved it and turn a blind eye.
Therefore your statement about children being the only one society tolerates being hit is untrue.
Anyway, big difference between a smack on the backside which does no damage and beating your kids.

 

[Niamh]

Think you've missed the point.
You said hitting people is only tolerated on children
Most places I know, if someone was being a prick and being abusive to someone and they got the shit kicked out of them for it, most people would think they deserved it and turn a blind eye.
Therefore your statement about children being the only one society tolerates being hit is untrue.
Anyway, big difference between a smack on the backside which does no damage and beating your kids.

People might turn a blind eye but a court wouldn't, so it's not really tolerated.

Maybe a slap on the arse does no damage but as someone else already said, it's a lazy option and I prefer not to hit my kids.

 

[Peter Parka]

People might turn a blind eye but a court wouldn't, so it's not really tolerated.

Maybe a slap on the arse does no damage but as someone else already said, it's a lazy option and I prefer not to hit my kids.

Well the police turned a blind eye a few years ago when I hospitalised some cunt for starting on me on my door step but wanted to find and charge him.

Difference between fast and effective and lazy.

 

[HK]

I have to agree that there's a difference between smacking a child and full-on hitting them. My dad smacked us when we kids if we were seriously out of line, and it never really hurt exactly - it was more the fact that it stung and my dad was very angry that made an impact. The smack itself just underlined how much trouble we were in, and it was never hard enough to leave a mark.


I'd like to say 'oh no you should never hit anyone' and I hope I can get by without having to smack my kids. I imagine in my relationship, my boyfriend would likely be the one to get angry enough to smack as punishment, whereas women in my family are notoriously good at the 'disappointment freeze'. My mum never even really shouted, she just ignored us if we made a fuss and waited for us to wear ourselves out. She told me she just walked away from us if we threw a fit in public (not far enough to lose sight, just enough to make the point that she wasn't paying attention to the tantrum).


Not smacking might work for some but I think it depends on the child and the parent. For some people, discipline is hardly an issue and there'll never be a need to smack. Some kids are plain out of line and need a little healthy respect instilled in them. I don't subscribe to the idea that making a child feel anything but loved and important is wrong. Sometimes kids need to understand that they aren't everything in the world and their actions have consequences.

 

[Niamh]

Well the police turned a blind eye a few years ago when I hospitalised some cunt for starting on me on my door step but wanted to find and charge him.

Difference between fast and effective and lazy.

Not when it comes to hitting or not hitting your child imo. Look, I know people do it all the time and it's viewed as perfectly acceptable but I just couldn't imagine doing it to my own kids, physically hurting them as a punishment just seems very wrong to me.