Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You will have a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup for lunch, and will receive a phone call from a man named "Sven", but who tells you his name is something else. Don't believe him for a second. He will be very impressed that you knew his actual name.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today you will have a sudden, somewhat irrational desire to drive to Camden, New Jersey, and visit the Soup Tureen Museum. Fortunately, you will restrain yourself.
http://groups.fropki.com/Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Excellent day to devour fruit, while making snarling sounds and glaring at persons nearby. Next, tear the heads off the carnations and stuff them partway up your nose, and make strange wuffling sounds while vigorously wiggling your eyebrows. Or don't, if you're going to be stuffy. It's your life.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Good day to make sure you are prepared for a big earthquake. Get bottled water, a first-aid kit, canned food, flashlights, transistor radio, sturdy hiking boots, and a feather boa.
http://groups.fropki.com/Leo (July 23 - August 22)
In this world you have a choice between being clever, and being pleasant. I recommend pleasant.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Good day to call an old friend, and reminisce. (It turns out to be much muchharder to reminisce with a new friend.)
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
A tomato features in today's cuisine. Sadly, that's going to be your pinnacle of excitement for today.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
E-coli. It's what's for dinner!
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
A large cement dragon will appear to be following you, although you'll never actually see it move. Don't you just hate that?
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Good day to learn ventriloquism. Lesson 1: making squishy sounds when people walk by, in time with their footsteps.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will meet someone who you haven't seen in a long time, and will barely recognize them. At least not without the spiked collar and the whip.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will come across a matchbook that will change your life. Inside the cover it will say "You too can be a criminal mastermind!"
You will have a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup for lunch, and will receive a phone call from a man named "Sven", but who tells you his name is something else. Don't believe him for a second. He will be very impressed that you knew his actual name.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today you will have a sudden, somewhat irrational desire to drive to Camden, New Jersey, and visit the Soup Tureen Museum. Fortunately, you will restrain yourself.
http://groups.fropki.com/Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Excellent day to devour fruit, while making snarling sounds and glaring at persons nearby. Next, tear the heads off the carnations and stuff them partway up your nose, and make strange wuffling sounds while vigorously wiggling your eyebrows. Or don't, if you're going to be stuffy. It's your life.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Good day to make sure you are prepared for a big earthquake. Get bottled water, a first-aid kit, canned food, flashlights, transistor radio, sturdy hiking boots, and a feather boa.
http://groups.fropki.com/Leo (July 23 - August 22)
In this world you have a choice between being clever, and being pleasant. I recommend pleasant.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Good day to call an old friend, and reminisce. (It turns out to be much muchharder to reminisce with a new friend.)
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
A tomato features in today's cuisine. Sadly, that's going to be your pinnacle of excitement for today.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
E-coli. It's what's for dinner!
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
A large cement dragon will appear to be following you, although you'll never actually see it move. Don't you just hate that?
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Good day to learn ventriloquism. Lesson 1: making squishy sounds when people walk by, in time with their footsteps.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will meet someone who you haven't seen in a long time, and will barely recognize them. At least not without the spiked collar and the whip.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will come across a matchbook that will change your life. Inside the cover it will say "You too can be a criminal mastermind!"
