Workplace holiday gift giving hot mess

[Panacea]

A few weeks ago, my supervisor arrogantly asserted our office has always done Secret Santa giveaways. This isn't true, we've only done it once in 4 years, but ok. She went on to hatch gift giving ideas we would all have to submit to, until she decided we would just all buy each other five dollar gifts in a Secret Santa fashion (This is GREAT for me. I don't have the money nor interest to do more than this.)

Cut to Monday, she says "Mark 12/21 on your calendar, I'm buying you guys lunch as your holiday gift". In response, the annoying bitchy coworker I have decided to round us up and say "I'm going to buy her something, maybe a Swarovski crystal ornament or something, we'll all go in on it!"....*groan* this seems to always end badly, and Swarovski?? Bitch I'm in poverty, and I can't stand any of you.

Today she shows us what she bought (despite telling me we would be discussing it further), and it's some dumb ass Santa statue checking lists...ok...kind of impersonal and not at all what she'd like but...*checks the price* 50 DOLLARS!!!!!!!!

A $50 Santa figurine is what you came up with? We have to split that 3 ways? YES, I'm that cheap, I'm an 'intern' graduate student who isn't even buying presents for her family this year...I mean, if it was an actually nice or cute thing, I think I might suck it up, but...wow.

I personally think gift giving should be a personal thing for personal friends and family, not some fake forced event done between coworkers who hate each other. So tacky and wrong.

 

[pjbleek]

give what you can, and if they don't like it.....
I don't buy co-workers anything after the one year I do go all out and got nothing in return....

 

[porterjack]

seems like giving for givings sake

i feel sorry for you being in this situation but is seems there is little you can do

in my office i sensed this kind of event was being planned so i launched a pre-emptive strike

i emailled my colleagues and challenged them, in lieu of a secret santa i said why not perform one act of random kindness per person per week until christmas, no need to advertise what you did, your conscience will guide you

i have had a few discrete thankyous since this happended

 

[Kyle B]

My job pays for a holiday party every year and we don't have to do that gift buying crap lol. Last year they gave us prime rib, wonder what it will be this year!?!?!

 

[Abcinthia]

I personally think gift giving should be a personal thing for personal friends and family, not some fake forced event done between coworkers who hate each other. So tacky and wrong.

Quoted for the truth.

I'm amused on the parenting forum I go on the people who are buying gifts for 100+ people and moaning about the cost. Most of them aren't even their family/friends but co-workers they barely speak to; their best friend's ex-boyfriend who they haven't had any contact with since 1997; the binmen who they have never spoken to; and bus driver they see once a week but the only conversation between them is "return ticket to town. Thanks".

Jeez Louise do they all need gifts? NO. Just give the people you barely know/no longer have much contact with a Christmas card and be done with it.

 

[Niamh]

I hate when people do that kind of shit, besides the money it's the principle of it. She shouldn't have pressured you into buying a gift for someone, especially when you have better things/people to spend your money on. You should have just told her you can't afford it straight out

 

[AUDRAA]

Wow that really was unfair of your co-worker to do to you without even consulting you on the dollar amt she expects you to pay first. She should have said she was interested and was taking donations toward it and let you both decide on your own what you felt was appropriate and based it off the amt she recieved. Im with PJ I say since this woman took it upon herself to purchase a gift, I would give what I can and make her eat the rest out of her own pocket.
Id certianly make it clear to her that if in the future she would like to purchase a gift and include others in the purchase price that she discuss it with you or you will not be contributing. People like that irritate the shit out of me anyway, yes its nice that she wants to do something for your boss but I say if you arent prepared to cover the price on your own dont try to include others to make up the difference.

 

[Panacea]

Good points, guys, I agree. I should have been more assertive about it. Ugh can't wait to learn and stop being passive.

When she told me her 'plan' she said "think of some things and we will talk about it again". It was super up in the air, and I thought I would have more time to work it out. The poor other woman in the office wasn't even told about this, and she has three kids. I mean, we have 2 whole weeks before we'd need to decide!!!!!!!!!

The bitch of this is, this woman makes huge money. She has no kids. It's so rude.

 

[Panacea]

I personally think gift giving should be a personal thing for personal friends and family, not some fake forced event done between coworkers who hate each other. So tacky and wrong.

Quoted for the truth.

I'm amused on the parenting forum I go on the people who are buying gifts for 100+ people and moaning about the cost. Most of them aren't even their family/friends but co-workers they barely speak to; their best friend's ex-boyfriend who they haven't had any contact with since 1997; the binmen who they have never spoken to; and bus driver they see once a week but the only conversation between them is "return ticket to town. Thanks".

Jeez Louise do they all need gifts? NO. Just give the people you barely know/no longer have much contact with a Christmas card and be done with it.

And this is why I like Porterjack's idea of just being kind...it's really nice to give people little tokens of appreciation, but so often these gifts are completely useless. Let's face it. Cards and food/candy are usually cheapest and people can enjoy them in the moment and be done.

My supervisor was just complaining yesterday about having "so much Christmas crap at home". She totally was begging for a $50 piece of additional Christmas crap, I must have missed it :24:

 

[Niamh]

Good points, guys, I agree. I should have been more assertive about it. Ugh can't wait to learn and stop being passive.

When she told me her 'plan' she said "think of some things and we will talk about it again". It was super up in the air, and I thought I would have more time to work it out. The poor other woman in the office wasn't even told about this, and she has three kids. I mean, we have 2 whole weeks before we'd need to decide!!!!!!!!!

The bitch of this is, this woman makes huge money. She has no kids. It's so rude.

You should say it to her, I would. Say that you're annoyed that she didn't consult you and the other girl about the price first and whether or not you even wanted to do it in the first place. I'd be raging.

 

[AUFred]

Seems unfair and I think I would say so.

 

[Panacea]

You should say it to her, I would. Say that you're annoyed that she didn't consult you and the other girl about the price first and whether or not you even wanted to do it in the first place. I'd be raging.

I'm going to talk to the other lady and try to see if we can attack this in tandem lol. I agree.
And the thing is, the supervisor does this too. "Oh we're buying the court administrator a wedding gift, fyi". Turns out she wants $20 each in the department for a $200 picture frame, and I just never paid her because I never said yes to it. I wasn't invited to the wedding for a reason: we're not close.

 

[Niamh]

I'm going to talk to the other lady and try to see if we can attack this in tandem lol. I agree.
And the thing is, the supervisor does this too. "Oh we're buying the court administrator a wedding gift, fyi". Turns out she wants $20 each in the department for a $200 picture frame, and I just never paid her because I never said yes to it. I wasn't invited to the wedding for a reason: we're not close.

You're dead right too. One of the mothers at my sons school decided all the parents in my sons class should give €10 towards a gift voucher for my sons teacher when they were finishing up last year. I just never replied to the text, I wouldn't mind but I really didn't like that teacher at all, don't think she should have been teaching kids that young as she had not patience or understanding that they were just 6 year olds. I think it's each parents prerogative to decide whether or not they liked the teacher enough to give a present

 

[Panacea]

You're dead right too. One of the mothers at my sons school decided all the parents in my sons class should give €10 towards a gift voucher for my sons teacher when they were finishing up last year. I just never replied to the text, I wouldn't mind but I really didn't like that teacher at all, don't think she should have been teaching kids that young as she had not patience or understanding that they were just 6 year olds. I think it's each parents prerogative to decide whether or not they liked the teacher enough to give a present

Seriously...it's my money, I'm not putting it towards any frivolous thing I don't wish to.
I've never understood boss worship, either...at least in my job the supervisor doesn't decide my wage or hours, it's all county calculated. I'm not kissing her ass, she's an emotional nightmare half the time lol.

 

[rback33]

Go Steel Curtain on her! YEAH!!!

 

[Panacea]

Go Steel Curtain on her! YEAH!!!

:24::24:
I can see myself flying across the room like Troy and taking her out

 

[hart]

It's funny this thread started with Secret Santa. What we do at work is White Elephant and it's fun and cheap. Most of us use thing we already have at home and wrap them up, leave them at our desk and then go around to each desk and see if we want to trade. Then during the potluck lunch we draw names of everyone twice and go around and decide if we want to keep the gift we have or exchange it with anyone twice. It's fun and cheap and everyone enjoys it! By the way ours happens to be today AND I'm dressed in a hot little black dress, look mighty fine if I do say so myself

Pan I like your idea of talking with the other lady and if she too doesn't want to pay that kind of money for the bosses gift telling the third lady she's SOL.

Luckily we couldn't do that if we wanted to in the gvmt we have rules against that sort of thing-giving gifts to our boss.

 

[rback33]

Pics hart.. we need pics!


I think you should tell her to go fuck herself Carly...

 

[AstriaPorta]

that is very wrong to do that choose something without telling the amount of money first ..

on the old work my husband used to work... had the secret santa but was fun aand not expencive .. they all had to buy one gift up to 10 dollars ...no more then that
then they wrote names in papers and all have to pick one .. and who ever the name on that paper was... they had to give the gift to them ...

 

[CityGirl]

Leave her with the tab, Pan. She was not giving you any consideration when she made the purchase and deserves no consideration in return. If she wants to spend $50 on the boss or whoever, let her. If she hasn't presented the gift, yet, she is not out the money and has the option to return it for a full refund. Just be honest. In this economy a lot of people are cutting back and we can't afford to be nickled and dimed all these little Christmas extravagances...it adds up big time! It's okay to say no.